ATLANTA, GA. — While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
“In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women’s bodies,” said Abrams. “Obesity isn’t real, but a system of oppression. It’s time to dismantle it!”
The incumbent governor’s remarks are already being praised as “so brave” and “super scientific” by members of the body positivity movement who have not yet succumbed to diabetes and heart disease.
“As Presidential candidate for the Democratic party, I vow to fight the lobbyists of Big Bathroom Scales and their attempts to control our beautiful bodies,” said Abrams while inhaling a tower of strawberry-sprinkled bear claws.
A representative for the Bathroom Scale industry issued a statement that read, “We’re so busted, dang it. President-elect Stacey Abrams caught us red-handed. We solemnly vow henceforth to do better to hide our secretive desires to control women’s bodies.”
At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.
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Gotta love the Babylon Bee.
STACY ABRAMS JOINS GLOBALISTS ELITE, ANOINTED BY CFR BILDERBERG GROUP
The Fake News organs that regularly shower Stacey Abrams with adulatory coverage are now mum about her entry into the secretive, shadowy corridors of power.
https://thenewamerican.com/stacey-abrams-joins-globalist-elite-anointed-by-cfr-bilderberg-group/
https://babylonbee.com/news/stacey-abrams-bursts-through-wall-like-kool-aid-man-to-tell-overjoyed-mother-that-the-heartbeat-sound-shes-hearing-is-fake
HA!
What I find really amazing is that these dumb asses spew these overt lies and think people will believe them?!? oh wait I actually yammer’d with a ‘conservative’ douchebag that believes an unborn baby is not human until actually born.
No doubt she believes her knife and fork made her fat.
Das rite Ursel, Aunt Jemima Abrams be like thowin’ down huge portions cuz her fork be puttin’ it in her mouff. Not her fault she be the size of a Abrams Tank.
Stacey Abrams was campaigning up near Dahlonega which has spotty GPS/cell tower coverage. She had gotten lost. She stopped at a convenience store and asked an older gentleman “How di I get to 285?” He replied, “Diet and exercise”.
Probably going to get downvoted to all hell here but I want take this opportunity to ask a simple question to the majority of western society: Is it that fucking hard to control your calorie intake or burn those excess calories off? Jesus Christ people! Have some fucking pride in your bodies. You will live longer, feel better, and look much less disgusting. Ok, I feel better now. Off to workout.🙂
BLASPHEMY DEFINITION: Blasphemy is generally defined as the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things, synonymous with irreverence and disrespect of God or Christ.
The word blasphemy originated from the Greek word “blasphēmia” then translated from Latin to Old French to Middle English. Blasphemy is generally defined as the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things, synonymous with irreverence and disrespect of God or Christ.
Mushroom Cloud, I would not jump up amd down on thin ice when the SON is about to shine.
You said: “JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE”!
Hmmm…Why not?
1. Mohammad people!
2. Buddha people!
3. Satan people!
4. Jewish (term first used in the 177o’s) people!
5. Woo people!
6. Joseph Smith people!
7. Nothing (atheist) people!
Take the warning in the spirit it is written.
You are driving over a “blasphēmia” cliff buddy.
So … that number showing on the scale … is that her right side — or her left(ist) side?
This useless lump had her position by the indulgence of the very civilization she so despises.
Which is out fault.
If we do not regain control, we deserve whatever comes next.
She’s built like a tank, not the battle tank but more like a sceptic tank.
You mean septic tank, I think.
sep·tic
/ˈseptik/
adjective
adjective: septic
1.
infected with microorganisms, especially harmful bacteria.
“his feet had gone septic”
We here at TBP are a sceptic think-tank.
skep·tic
/ˈskeptik/
noun: sceptic
1.
a person inclined to question or doubt accepted opinions.
Yes I did mean septic. Whoops. Thanks for the catch.
Guam would have a problem if Stacey Abrams ever paid a visit.
This guy is so dumb. Doesn’t he know that can’t happen bc we live on a flat earth stupid.
The Association of Donut lovers…….I’ve been laughing for 10 minutes and still can’t stop. Thanks for being that creative and funny! I guess that sheriff in San Antonio the shot his mouth off without connecting his brain is a member too?