Tag: Stacey Abrams is a fat cow

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA. — While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.

“In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women’s bodies,” said Abrams. “Obesity isn’t real, but a system of oppression. It’s time to dismantle it!”

Continue reading “Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale”

Via Branco

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—Failed gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams has graciously accepted Joe Biden’s offer to run as the vice-presidential candidate on his campaign.

After Biden announced his pick today, Abrams quickly gave a speech congratulating the losers and saying she was excited and ready to run a tough race for the next three months.

Continue reading “Stacey Abrams Graciously Accepts VP Nomination”

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—Sitting at the governor’s desk at the Georgia state capitol, Stacey Abrams told reporters she would step down from her governorship if asked to run for vice president.

“If Biden asks me to run, I’ll need to focus on that full-time,” she said. “As much as I love running this great state, if the country needs me, I’ll be there.”

Continue reading “Stacey Abrams Says She Will Step Down As Governor If Asked To Run For VP”