GOFFSTOWN, NH — A visibly shaken Kaitlan Collins announced she will be suing Trump for assault and defamation after being destroyed by the former President on national television last night.
“He said things I didn’t agree with. Even worse, he said things I didn’t like,” said Collins in a statement. “It was the most traumatizing experience of my life. It was assault, plain and simple. And defamation. I’m suing Trump for $5 million like that other lady.”
Sources also reported Trump called the CNN host a “nasty person,” which trusted fact-checkers have determined was false.
Media experts applauded the announcement and were all in agreement that Trump’s performance in the town hall was the most horrifying spectacle ever televised. “I am literally shaking right now,” said CNN Host Jake Tapper. “The lies, the misinformation, the pure evil of that monstrous orange man is too much for my soul to bear. Our democracy is in danger once again. God help us all.”
Biden also responded to the town hall, saying: “Reflustrazuuure! Shut up, fat!”
Within minutes of the announcement of the lawsuit, a New York judge ruled in favor of the plaintiff and ordered Trump to pay $5 million.
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Cute. All the talking heads on the right are saying Trump won big , maybe he did , and now is surely the nominee, surely wins with N.H. voters and and will surely be re-elected in 2024.
Nothing about voting was mentioned.
Funny.
Funny, Drudge headline today:
CNN OUTFOXES FOX!
MAGA CROWD CHEERS
TRUMP PLAYS GREATEST HITS
LICHT DEFENDS CIRCUS
STAFF REBELS
CNN has gone full retard for Trump! Total psych warfare IMO.
We iz all switching sides. Count me out of this mind fuk.
I thought it was real before seeing the BB. It could be prophetic.
Actually, I think that BB is creating the news, knowing that people on the left are crazy enough to seriously consider doing this. Also, when a headline this insane starts to seem possible (I had to look twice at the source), you know the country is on the highway to hell.
Katland Collins.
LOL!
did you enjoy the show, sheeple?
Yes, I sure as hell did. And a damm fine show it was… Now, a word from our sponsor…
Babylon Bee has been pretty accurate latley. That’s how you know you’re living in a shit version of idiocracy.
It’s becoming impossible to parody the left.
They do it to themselves.
Clown World.
Jean needed to sell her tanking shit book, so cried “rape!”
And got a NY jury to put her formerly unknown name in the public.
Probably her publisher’s idea because she is dumber than a stump.
“Keep in mind that New York wrote a new law specifically to provide E Jean Carroll a pathway to file a lawsuit”
over the allegation that something might have happened sometime in the past, though the accuser could not identify what year President Trump assaulted her. The accuser, a woman of notoriously odd behavior and remarkably unstable mindset, was funded by billionaire LinkedIn founder and very vocal Trump critic, Reid Hoffman.
New York created the new law for Ms. Carroll, Reid Hoffman paid for the legal costs, and Ms. Carroll made her sketchy accusations of something, from sometime, that wasn’t certain to have happened. There were no witnesses to the claimed events, there was no evidence the event took place, there was nothing to indicate Ms. Carroll or Mr. Trump were even in the same place at the same time.
Come on! That was before she figured she could sue him with a false story and be paid by PTB to do it. Win win for her. Before that diddling with Trump was a resume enhancement for her.
That cat looks like it needs flying lessons.
So I take it Trump kicked some ass on CNN? I don’t watch these things.
Trump’s slogan should be “vote for me or you’ll be up to your ass in Mexicans.”
Iska- 1.2 million of them crossed the border and stayed while Trump was in office, you have forgotten about that.
Sounds like Trump was doing a good job!
When Trump left office, the U.S. was deporting more people than were coming into the country illegally, the Daily Signal reports
But, under Biden, the number of people illegally coming into the country is more than 6,000 per day.
That is six times more than the level set by Obama’s team to signify a crisis.
So with 5.1 million encounters of illegal immigrants since January 2021 and at least 1.2 million known illegal immigrant “gotaways,” that’s a confirmed minimum of 6.3 million illegal immigrants …
but he built the wall and the Mexicans paid for it.
All Hispanics and Latinos, Arab terrorists and Chinese spies.
“He said things I didn’t agree with. Even worse, he said things I didn’t like,”
Dumb bitch, that is why we have the first amendment!