Philadelphia Shoe Stores, Liquor Stores, Electronics Stores Looted By Starving People Desperately Looking For Bread

Via The Babylon Bee

PHILADELPHIA, PA — According to sources, the city of Philadelphia is being plagued by looters stealing from liquor stores, electronics stores, and shoe stores. Reports indicate the looters are noble impoverished people just trying to find bread to feed their children.

“I’m just out here trying to feed my kids!” said 17-year-old Dontel Mayes to reporters while beating a security guard to death with a brick. “I’ve smashed up 7 Gamestop stores so far, and haven’t found any bread for the wife and 12 kids, so I guess I have to settle for this game system and a copy of Madden 24.”

Another group of impoverished persons expressed similar disappointment after breaking into a liquor store, murdering the shopkeeper, drinking all the alcohol, and burning the place down. “They didn’t have any bread here!” mourned a 380-pound single mother as she lit up a bottle of 192-proof and tossed it through the entrance. “Oh, if only some kind soul would help me find some bread before I starve!”

Upon hearing the news, Congresswoman AOC visited Philadelphia to cry in front of the ransacked stores and condemn them for their cruel lack of bread. “We live in a food desert. The least these Nike stores could do is carry some nutritious whole-grain bread to feed these starving people!” she said.

At publishing time, President Biden had expressed solidarity with the poor bread-seeking people and promised to address their plight by sending them a free pre-filled mail-in ballot for Democrats next November.

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34 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
September 28, 2023 2:54 pm

at this point, will anything short of shooting large numbers of them even slow this down?

GNL
GNL
  Anonymous
September 28, 2023 3:40 pm

ARs with binary triggers.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  GNL
September 28, 2023 5:47 pm

Bonus points for getting two with one round.

overthecliff
overthecliff
  Anonymous
September 29, 2023 12:00 am

300 Blackout. They won’t know what hit them.

WAKE UP
WAKE UP
September 28, 2023 3:14 pm

I notice no book stores or libraries were looted.

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  WAKE UP
September 28, 2023 5:25 pm

No Red Wing stores were looted in all of this, either …

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anthony Aaron
September 28, 2023 5:32 pm

Know how to starve a nigger?? Hide his EBT card under his work boots…

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
September 28, 2023 5:38 pm

Awww, who am I kidding; we all know they don’t work..

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
September 28, 2023 7:34 pm

They do have jogging boots. I learned that when those guys were railroaded in Georgia.

TCS
TCS
  WAKE UP
September 28, 2023 6:16 pm

A common observance.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  WAKE UP
September 28, 2023 6:24 pm

Jack Coen wrote thaat exact same joke the week of the Rodney King riots.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  hardscrabble farmer
September 28, 2023 7:36 pm

It’s not a joke.

Only Store Not Looted in South African Mall is a Book Shop [Video]

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
September 28, 2023 8:43 pm

Reading is for people who plan for contingencies.
Niggers rely on those who plan for contingencies as their contingency ‘plan’.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
September 28, 2023 3:24 pm

No need for the pre-voted ballot. It will automatically be cast in their name, but they will still get to vote in person and/or request another mail in ballot. In democrat cities, you can vote early and vote often.

KJ
KJ
September 28, 2023 3:31 pm

“I’m just out here trying to feed my kids!” said 17-year-old Dontel Mayes to reporters while beating a security guard to death with a brick. “I’ve smashed up 7 Gamestop stores so far, and haven’t found any bread for the wife and 12 kids, so I guess I have to settle for this game system and a copy of Madden 24.”

“I jus ou’ heeya tryin feed muh keeeeeeedz, youknowwhaddymsayin? I done smash inna buncha Gamestop, youknowwhaddymsayin, I still ain’t find no bread fo’ muh 10 o 12 keeeeeeeeedz and 9 baby mamas, yo! Youknowwhaddymsayin?”

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Administrator
September 28, 2023 7:04 pm

Democrat-run, not ran, cities.

No, wait: Democrat-ruined cities.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Anonymous
September 28, 2023 10:21 pm

A Communist-Demoncrat party specialty.

WAKE UP
WAKE UP
  Administrator
September 28, 2023 7:35 pm

Target were absolute nazis about the mask so fuck em.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  WAKE UP
September 28, 2023 10:22 pm

Auntie thinks the same about their gender & toilet policy. Eff-M and FJB.

nkit
nkit
September 28, 2023 5:30 pm

comment image

nkit
nkit
  nkit
September 28, 2023 5:35 pm

comment image

lamont cranston
lamont cranston
  nkit
September 28, 2023 8:18 pm

There’s the missing F-35!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
September 28, 2023 8:46 pm

Day cant reed, dey looc fo de target

B_MC
B_MC
September 28, 2023 5:43 pm

Congresswoman AOC visited Philadelphia to cry in front of the ransacked stores and condemn them for their cruel lack of bread. “We live in a food desert. The least these Nike stores could do is carry some nutritious whole-grain bread to feed these starving people!” she said.

The progenitor….

Clip of AOC defending shoplifters as ‘hungry’ people seeking BREAD goes viral after Philly looting that saw mob target iPhones, sneakers and liquor stores – with at least 30 people charged so far

An old clip of Democrat radical Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defending shoplifters as ‘hungry’ people seeking bread has resurfaced in the wake of the Philadelphia lootings that have seen at least 30 people charged so far.

The New York Congresswoman sat down in a video from 2020 and described why she thought people loot.

‘So, they go out and they need to feed their child and they don’t have money… They are put in a position where they feel like they need to shoplift some bread or go hungry that night,’ said Ocasio-Cortez.

But she has since been ridiculed online after a mob of dozens of looters targeted stores such as Footlocker, Apple and Lululemon in the City of Brotherly Love on Tuesday night – with one social media user writing: ‘This did not age well.’

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12567629/AOC-defends-shoplifters-hungry-Philadelphia-lootings.html

Anonymous
Anonymous
  B_MC
September 28, 2023 5:51 pm

If they ran all the liquor stores out of Philadelphia the situation would be slightly better.
No drunk noggers is a good thing.

nkit
nkit
September 28, 2023 5:52 pm

@

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 28, 2023 5:57 pm

AOC “they are just trying to get food to feed their children”

Me “Their kids eat iPhones, sneakers and alcohol?”

TCS
TCS
September 28, 2023 6:15 pm

Damn. Those Baby Bees are tricky! Always tryin’ to put one over on ya. Almost got me again.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
September 28, 2023 9:24 pm

comment image

TacoTaco
TacoTaco
September 28, 2023 9:56 pm

Will there be a “60 Minutes” interview with the one person who did get a loaf of bread?

Jdog
Jdog
September 29, 2023 8:35 am

Mass looting is done by people conspiring to do it. That falls under the RICO statutes, and is the primary purpose of the FBI to control. The FBI was supposedly created to combat the gangs of the 1930’s that the local LEO’s were not able to eliminate. Today they ignore the criminal gangs and try to eliminate the law abiding tax payers who buy guns to defend themselves from the marauding gangs. Today our enemies are not only the gangs, but the FBI too.