HOWARD STERN’S TOUCHING EULOGY FOR JOAN RIVERS

Via Margaret Cho

Her signature gardenia perfume mixed with the gargantuan arrangements of the heady white blooms and so her presence was heavy and uncompromised. This is how she wanted us to say good-bye to her, and everyone came early except Donald Trump, who was whisked to the front near the family, ginger hair exploding and obvious over all the yarmulkes.

In the morose silence Howard Stern said, “Joan Rivers had a dry pussy.”

At first, the words just hung there, as no one knew exactly what to do. Of course I started laughing hysterically, and everyone else, remembering who we were there to honor, followed suit. Howard Stern actually choked back tears as he continued – “Joan’s pussy was so dry it was like a sponge – so that when she got in the bathtub – whooooosh – all the water would get absorbed in there! Joan said that if Whitney Houston had as dry a pussy as Joan’s, she would still be alive today…”

It was so wrong but so right at the same time. So Joan. So great. RIP my friend.