Italy Totally Fine Thanks To Universal Healthcare

Via The Babylon Bee

ITALY—A new report has found that Italy is doing completely fine with no problems whatsoever thanks to its lauded universal healthcare system.

As the coronavirus pandemic continues to sweep the world, countries are going on lockdown, but not Italy. Its universal healthcare program means that everybody is doing great, “incredible even.”

“It seems that having universal healthcare stops all health problems and magically makes enough medicine and care available for all,” said one analyst. “It’s remarkable — in countries where there is no universal healthcare, everybody is dying. In countries where there is universal healthcare, the virus just stops right at the border. It’s not allowed in. That’s just science.”

While backward countries with free market health systems are expected to be wiped out with a near 100% death rate, countries like Italy with universal healthcare continue to live life as though nothing is wrong. People are dancing in the streets and living out their utopian lives, unaware that the rest of the world is even facing a crisis.

“Coronavirus? Never heard of it,” said one Italian man as he made a pizza “just because.” “Nope, we’ve got universal healthcare here. We have left behind your primitive ideas like disease, viruses, and even death itself.”

Canada is also doing perfect and absolutely will not lock its borders down to stop the crisis since “borders are evil,” according to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

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14 Comments
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
March 17, 2020 4:11 pm

This brings up a great point regarding government run healthcare, and healthcare as a “right.”

So we are hearing that healthcare workers (no clear definition of just who that all includes), are looking to be pressed into service, not allowed to go home, and other scenarios to ensure their continued presence and contribution to the current medical situation. Please explain how this is NOT SLAVERY or KIDNAPPING. And YES, I fully believe that conscription for military service is slavery and kidnapping too.

So when one talks about healthcare as a “right,” one must confront the reality that at some point, someone who currently delivers that service in whatever capacity, might decide to quit. What if the conditions/pay/etc. of the government system were so onerous that 90% decided to quit? How can everyone have a “right” to healthcare if there is nobody left to provide care? And if it is a “right,” then should the government FORCE these people to work or continue working even if they wish to leave? (Try leaving the military if they don’t want to let you…same slavery). And in this situation, if workers not allowed to leave were suddenly to simply stop working, should guns be put to their heads to force them back to work? Maybe some “example killing” would motivate others. Would that NOT be murder since it was necessary to secure healthcare as a “right?”

The longer this goes on, the more of a sham government, “rights,” and other things will be exposed to the curative sunlight. Be sure to take every opportunity to shine some sunshine of your own when the topic presents itself around your family and friends.

gman
gman
  MrLiberty
March 17, 2020 6:18 pm

“How can everyone have a ‘right’ to healthcare if there is nobody left to provide care?”

because rights have been (deliberately) confounded with needs and wants. constitutionally, rights primarily concern a citizen’s abilities to act, and secondarily control government’s ability to restrict those abilities. a citizen has a right to pursue healthcare – he has no right to healthcare. etc.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  gman
March 17, 2020 6:55 pm

Yes, my point exactly. That is what I was trying to elucidate.

RufusVonDufus
RufusVonDufus
  gman
March 17, 2020 9:14 pm

Liberal assholes!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  MrLiberty
March 18, 2020 4:20 am

It will be most interesting to see how many in healthcare refuse to work-even with the threat of being fired. For example, if there is a shortage of protective clothing and masks why would a worker choose to risk their life for a system that cannot/will not provide the basic tools to do the job without risking your life? Not everyone wants to be a hero, though some will.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
March 17, 2020 5:06 pm

Rights are often confused with wants in the current era.

Rights are what you exercise on your own, without assistance from armed officials that deny them to others in order to provide them to you.

We’ll see how effective conscription is in the current era.

On a side note I find the complete collapse of the EU to be quite illuminating. When it’s for the purposes of taxation and facilitating foreign invasions, it’s great. The minute the going gets tough Nationalism raises its head like a champ.

Every. Border. Shut.

The very thing that the elites have been telling us cannot be done when it comes to immigrants/refugees seems to be no problem when it’s a virus.

So apparently it can be done.

Donkey
Donkey
  hardscrabble farmer
March 17, 2020 5:11 pm

Boom

Fatman from Oz
Fatman from Oz
  hardscrabble farmer
March 17, 2020 7:34 pm

And the stupid fucking Greeks didn’t take the gold plated invitation to get out. They wanted the easy money and now they will be left with Erdogan’s steaming pile of dog shit refugees. Another ancient civilization going down the tubes.

yahsure
yahsure
March 17, 2020 7:53 pm

The current unaffordable health care here that bankrupts people isn’t much better.

jdIll
jdIll
  yahsure
March 17, 2020 9:35 pm

You are right to a point. People with employer-provided health insurance, and those on social security who paid their premiums when they were less expensive are doing fine. Self-employed and unemployed are struggling.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  yahsure
March 17, 2020 10:22 pm

Indeed. And blame the government 100% for the system they created.

RufusVonDufus
RufusVonDufus
March 17, 2020 9:13 pm

Beautifully written in a descriptive of national health care. Thanks!

Romano
Romano
March 18, 2020 7:38 am

I live in Italy, and you don’t know how spot-on this article is. Italy basically has 17th-century medical care, and even in the best circumstances you just DON’T want to get sick here ever, although in some places in the north it’s better than in others. Ironically, up north is where the virus is raging, so look at how the “better” Italian health care is handling things…

c1ue
c1ue
March 18, 2020 1:13 pm

Truly idiotic post.
Italy is the 6th oldest nation on Earth – hit by a disease which primarily kills old people.