Chick-Fil-A Now Open On Sunday But Only For Black People

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy announced yesterday that his fast-food restaurant will be ending its long-standing policy on Sunday closure, but only for black people.

“We are leading the way towards racial reconciliation in this country,” Cathy said. “And everyone knows the best way to achieve racial reconciliation is to segregate black people and make them feel as awkward as possible. Chick-fil-A is dedicated to providing the blacks with a safe space so that they can be properly honored.”

Chick-fil-A will be providing racial justice training for all its employees. Sunday employees will all be required to wear traditional African Kente cloths as they serve food in the dining room. They will also offer to shine customer’s sneakers for free as they eat. Most notably, there will also be a change to the traditional polite phrase uttered by every Chick-fil-A employee after their sacrificial acts of lovingkindness. When addressing white people, workers will still say “my pleasure!” When addressing people of color, workers will now say “my privilege!” while kneeling respectfully.

Further changes will be seen during the rest of the week as well. Dining rooms will be rearranged to provide a separate place of honor for minorities to sit. They will also be provided with separate bathrooms and drinking fountains. Chick-fil-A leadership insists that this new “separate and more equal” policy will make their restaurants bright shining beacons of racial reconciliation for the world to emulate.

“Chick-fil-A will always be a kind and welcoming place for the blacks, the Chinamen, and those people who wear that red dot on their foreheads,” Cathy said. “Just please don’t steal the sauces and we’ll be cool. Or if you want to steal the sauces, that’s ok too. We honor you.”

Cathy also apologized for serving white meat and promised more diversity in the future.

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14 Comments
Steve
Steve
June 19, 2020 5:00 pm

As far as I’m concerned it’s open for blacks only, every day.
I bet Daddy is soooo proud of his son.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
June 19, 2020 5:23 pm

“Further changes will be seen during the rest of the week as well. Dining rooms will be rearranged to provide a separate place of honor for minorities to sit. They will also be provided with separate bathrooms and drinking fountains. Chick-fil-A leadership insists that this new “separate and more equal” policy will make their restaurants bright shining beacons of racial reconciliation for the world to emulate.”

Some really progressive ideas in this piece. No, really.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Auntie Kriest
June 19, 2020 5:42 pm

it’s as if they can’t wait to just fall on their swords, and sacrifice themselves on the alter of white guilt.

it will all backfire, as the majority scratches their collective says “well, these bastards will not get 1 dime of my money”

a fool and his ideology are soon parted, by the harsh reality of economic consequence incurred by pandering to the enemy.

do not pay your income to anyone who you perceive to be against your best interests:
1. any product/service from the damn TV
2. anything related to FANG,

if every patriot simply canceled their netflix for 1 month, it would shock the empire.

#boycottnetflix

get them where it hurts the most, in their “forward looking bedazzler screen”

Ken31
Ken31
  Anonymous
June 19, 2020 6:21 pm

If everyone stopped watching TV by any delivery method, they might find themselves able to think again.

Tr4head
Tr4head
June 19, 2020 10:34 pm

Chick Fil A, nothing more than a company that stole the Colonels recipe and made it a sandwich, has sold out all of the the people that stuck with them when they were under pressure by the Left and stood firm. Now they kneel. Sell outs of the worst sort. I haven’t eaten there since.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 20, 2020 9:13 am

Companies and CEOs are bending over backwards to accommodate minorities. So is cable TV media.
They’re running more programming favorable to blacks, moreso than anything you’ll expect during “Black History Month.” You can’t even turn the channel without being bombarded and it’s gotten to the point that cartoons are what’s left. Speaking of cartoons, they’ve even forked those up by taking Fudd’s shotgun, replacing it with a scythe.
Lunatics.

James
James
  Anonymous
June 20, 2020 10:11 am

Anon,fucking with Daffy/Bugs/Elmer/Marvin ect. really is unacceptable!

I feel it will be easier in this day and age to have a list of business/services/products that might be worth supporting,not the ever growing list of places to avoid!

In these changing times I recommend all here get to work on a Q-36 Expolsive space modulator,time is getting short!

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
June 20, 2020 2:13 pm

Here are a few more ideas for Chick-fil-A to atone for their white guilt:

– New 2 for 1 deal: White people pay double for their meals so a black person can eat free.

– No more cotton uniforms, only synthetics because slaves picked cotton.

– Watermelon is now served with every meal.

– Only blacks get to use the restrooms. Whites must crap in the parking lot like the homeless.

– A pack of matches in every take home meal in case customers want to light a police car on fire on their journey home.

These ideas should help Chick-fil-A’s stock follow Hertz into the stratosphere.

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs
  Trapped in Portlandia
June 20, 2020 2:36 pm

Whites eating watermelon is racist cultural apropriation.

tr4head
tr4head
June 20, 2020 2:49 pm

Of all the Fortune 500s that bow, kneel and pray to the Marxist BLM movement, Chick Fi La is the biggest disappointment of the lot. Their largely Christian base came to their beckon call and supported them when it mattered the most and boosted their sales by a factor of 2. Now, Dan Cathy Jr and company kicks us and our Religion right in the ass with GLBT donations taking the place of Salvation Army donations. Has there ever been a more successful victory for the GLBT whatever movement that this? I will never go there again!

Tr4head
Tr4head
June 20, 2020 6:10 pm

Anybody losing posts here?

Woody roberts
Woody roberts
July 14, 2020 5:25 pm

I shall never eat at a chick-fil-a again for the rest of my life and will go out of my way to make sure everyone I know does the same thing. This disgusts me to know end. How sad this world is becoming.

Anonymous
Anonymous
August 16, 2020 4:06 pm

If you notice, this Chick-Fil-A article is from The Babylon Bee. It is a news satire site, “referred to in the media as the Christian version of the Onion”.