Responding To Backlash, Netflix Clarifies Its Content Is ‘Mostly Pedophilia-Free’

Via The Babylon Bee

LOS GATOS, CA—Responding to the backlash over the worse-than-you-could-have-ever-imagined film Cuties added to its library this week, Netflix clarified that its content is “mostly not pedophilia.”

“It’s important to remember that our content is mostly pedophilia-free,” the Netflix Twitter account posted in response to the uproar over the movie.

“We assure you, over 93% of the Netflix library is not pedophilia in any way,” a spokesperson said. “Trust us — we just did a thorough review of every movie and show in our catalog, and that’s a pretty good percentage. You can rest easy that over nine out of every ten programs you watch on our program don’t have any pedophilic content.”

The argument persuaded most progressives, who were relieved to find out that most of the content is just fine. Many conservatives were still upset at the service, since they are hateful bigots who are intolerant of things like “sexualizing young girls” and “pedophilia.”

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13 Comments
Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
September 11, 2020 8:18 am

I’ve been telling my wife I want to cancel Netflix. She just called to vent about the upcoming show “Cuties”. We’ll see if she actually cancels our Netflix subscription.

splurge
splurge
  Glock-N-Load
September 11, 2020 9:48 am

Good Luck

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
  splurge
September 11, 2020 11:21 am

Yep. It seems women have a much higher threshold for deviance. I’m serious.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Glock-N-Load
September 18, 2020 8:45 pm

Cancel it yourself…wuss

Apple
Apple
September 11, 2020 8:35 am

Is that a real netflix tweet?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Apple
September 11, 2020 7:37 pm

I’d like to know myself. I cant find it on their feed.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Apple
September 11, 2020 7:38 pm

Also the Babylon Bee is satire. They most likely photoshopped it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 11, 2020 9:43 pm

Kennedy’s ride through Dallas was also 99 percent violence free.