Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump has announced his pick for Supreme Court justice: Joe Biden. By nominating Biden, Trump has forced the Dems’ hands, making them believe the sexual assault claims and allegations of inappropriate, creepy behavior against the former vice president.

The “4D chess” move forced Dems to immediately accuse Joe Biden of sexual assault and reverse their position on the current claims against him.

“We now believe Tara Reade,” said a somber Kamala Harris, “and we will do everything in our power to destroy this man’s life.”

In addition to believing current claims against Joe Biden, Democrats also immediately dug up 417 new accusers against Joe Biden. He has been accused of participating in wild frat parties, drunken keggers, and something called the “Devil’s Triangle,” which Dems say is either a Satanic ritual or code for a sexual practice or “maybe both.”

“It’s clear this man is dangerous and cannot be trusted,” said Nancy Pelosi. “We call on the Senate to turn down his nomination and run him out of public life.”

Biden released a statement, saying, “I just want to go home and see my grandkids again.” His mic was cut off and he was pulled off the stage with a shepherd’s crook.

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6 Comments
mark
mark
September 21, 2020 9:58 am

I’ll tell ya…the Onion couldn’t tie the Babylon’ Bee’s shoes! Ha!

theOtherDan
theOtherDan
  mark
September 21, 2020 10:35 am

but.. but… the onion originated at U. Wis. – Madison…. my Alma mater (cough cough). How ya doing Mark?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
September 21, 2020 1:01 pm

As if the democrats would ever consider asking Clueless Joe about his sexual assaults. #Metoo my ass. LOL

WhiteMiasma
WhiteMiasma
  MrLiberty
September 22, 2020 2:47 am

#metoo = Pound me too. Is that not sick?

Thing In Room 101
Thing In Room 101
September 21, 2020 4:37 pm

This is not as bad an idea as it may sound. The FBI would be compelled to do a very thorough background check and that could open up a can of all kinds of worms. I had thought of Trump nominating Hillary the last time for much the same reasons. Neither investigation may bring out any criminal charges but it would expose a lot of people to a very different picture of these to crooks.

WhiteMiasma
WhiteMiasma
September 22, 2020 2:49 am

Am I the only one that can see no White Christian man on the supreme court?