WASHINGTON, D.C.—Ignorant Republicans rioted yesterday but didn’t even snag any free big-screen TVs out of the deal, sources at the Capitol Building reported.
The short-sighted protesters stormed the Capitol without stealing a bunch of stuff, prompting many to question whether they really understand the purpose of a peaceful protest at all.
“Look at these morons, rioting at the Capitol when there’s a perfectly good Target just down the street,” said one CNN reporter. “If they’d looted a bunch of local businesses in the name of social justice or whatever, we’d be covering this protest a heck of a lot differently, I’ll tell you that.”
The rioters were condemned by people on both sides of the aisle, with critics slamming them for disrupting congressional proceedings, breaking through police barricades, and not even stealing a single Lego set, cheesecake, or Nike shoe in the name of justice. No footage emerged of the Capitol occupiers lighting cop cars on fire or throwing bricks through restaurant windows, causing the protesters to lose support from people of all political persuasions.
“One thing is clear,” said one political analyst. “These people obviously don’t know the sweet, sweet justice of lugging a 60-inch TV back to your apartment to show how much you care about your cause.”
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Those silly Republicans, worried about freedumb ‘n stuff. Don’t they understand crass consumption is what all the hullabaloo is about??
To be fair, someone is the new owner of Pelosi’s laptop and Clyburn’s iPad.
Do you think there is anything other than Solitaire and Free Cell on them? I am surprised SanFranNan even had a laptop when she has minions do do mundane computer work.
Clyburn sounded rattled by it.
Kiddie porn?
You would have thought that the Antifa/BLM infiltrators would have stolen more.
Both Facebook and Twitter are UN-American and should be abandoned by ALL true Americans.
They have NO place in our society. They should be PUT OUT OF BUSINESS as soon as possible.
didn’t burn nuthin, didn’t steal nuthin, didn’t close down the city….buncha newbies!
And they didn’t even bring any rope – If you’re going to do it, do it right.
(To you DHS guys – I’M JUST KIDDING!!!!)
No fires either?