Study Finds Book Burners Always Stop With Just A Few Fringe Books, So There’s Nothing To Worry About

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—A new study has confirmed that people who burn books always stop with just a few obscure, third-tier books with a couple of problematic things, and their book-burning activities never go beyond that, so there’s really nothing to worry about when books start getting burned.

The study covered book burnings carried out by governments and private groups throughout history. In every case, the researchers claim, book burners never went beyond their original targets. They couldn’t find even a single time that destroying a few books led to banning and destroying even more books. Therefore, they say, we’re totally in the clear when people start destroying Dr. Seuss books, because they’ll never move beyond those into more important things.

“Don’t worry, folks — they’ll definitely just stop with a couple of books,” said the head researcher of the study, Dr. Christopher Lyleson. “They usually find a couple of really problematic ones from decades ago and just stop there, their hunger to destroy information and opinions satiated. It’s really an important societal service, to occasionally purge the older works of one or two toxic books. But it always stops there, as far as we can tell.”

“So rest easy!”

Unfortunately, the study was found to be problematic and has been burned.

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5 Comments
AntiSocialMedia
AntiSocialMedia
March 7, 2021 7:18 pm

When I was a young lad, I read quite a few books. My classmates did not. I proposed that everyone come to a book burning party.
Everyone found it repulsive. I suppose they expected someone else to read it for them.

Archeaopteryx Phoenix
Archeaopteryx Phoenix
March 7, 2021 9:07 pm

Sigh.

I’ll write something to educate Herr Stuckmeisterbrau.

In a few minutes.

Machinist
Machinist
  Archeaopteryx Phoenix
March 8, 2021 12:57 am

Do you mean the time there was a book burning and the books that were burned consisted mainly of prurient ‘studies’ and ‘pseudo science’ of immoralities and sexual deviance that were largely exhibited in a certain European city? That same burning was not of one man nor an edict of government, but was a reaction by and of the citizenry?

Stucky
Stucky
  Archeaopteryx Phoenix
March 8, 2021 7:24 am

Golly Gee Wiz, I’m on the edge of my seat waiting. Waiting ….

rhs jr
rhs jr
March 7, 2021 9:17 pm

When are they going to do something constructive and destroy FM radio stations that play Rap “music”? Of course, there would be only one left in the Tallahassee area and it plays the worst “modern country” music in the world…wouldn’t miss it either.