It’s OK

Thumb up emoticon - Miller on the MoneyWhy can’t I sleep? For the last few nights, I have rolled, tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning.

Two years ago, I was going through very challenging treatments for tongue cancer. At one point I asked my wife Jo why she was closing the door to her office. She said, “So that you don’t see me crying.”

But that was two years ago, I survived the treatment, wrote an article about it, been continually treated, tested and been cancer free for a year. Yeah, I have another test coming up, but I’ve been OK.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I contacted dear friend/mentor Chuck Butler, who has dealt with cancer for over 15 years. After treatment and the good follow up test results, Chuck surprised me. He issued some marching orders, “You must now call yourself a cancer survivor; you have an obligation to mentor and encourage others.”

I’ve tried hard to follow his advice, stay positive and not let myself get too high or low emotionally. Some negative effects of the treatment are permanent. Swallowing is a challenging chore, but I’m OK. I try to enjoy each day, take what comes and encourage others to do the same. Why am I so anxious about the upcoming test results?

Harvey F., my boyhood next door neighbor, recently invited me to a high school class reunion. I graduated in 1958, 63 years ago. Friend Toots, who is helping, brought me up to date on 8 of our high school friends, all with significant medical challenges. That is in addition to other friends having issues, three are currently scheduled for surgery.

Pacemakers, Parkinson’s, stents, surgery, dementia and cancer treatment are discussed regularly; just part of aging, I guess.

Harvey organized a huge reunion in 2000. Our graduating class was 60 years old. We happily reconnected after many years. The dominant topic was how we were caring for our aging parents. 21 years later, we’re all in our 80’s. Today we’re the parents we talked about not so long ago.

Jo’s mother made it to 93. She was one of the happiest people I have ever known, with a terrific sense of humor. Yet she lamented that she struggled in her 80’s, losing so many of her long-time friends.

My last few cancer tests were excellent. I tried to put a smile on my face, yet I was struggling, a knot in my stomach. So many things in life are beyond our control.

Sometimes fate works in strange and mysterious ways. In a short time, three things hit me head on.

My wife Jo sensed I was worried and sent me this LINK with instruction to “Watch it until the very end!”

It’s a 7:32 video of the TV show, America’s Got Talent. The contestant is a thin young woman, 30 years old, from Zanesville, Ohio. She calls herself “Nightbirde”. She wrote a song titled, “It’s OK,” outlining her experiences with cancer. She has a 2% chance of survival: what an amazing young woman!

I’d encourage everyone to watch the video and share it with anyone who may be dealing with challenges. It is the natural order of things for grandparents to have significant health issues, not kids in their 30’s. The video was a wakeup call!

Here’s the lyrics:

IT’S OK

I moved to California in the summer time
I changed my name thinking that it would change my mind
I thought that all my problems they would stay behind
I was a stick of dynamite and it was just a matter of time, yeah

All day, all night, now I can’t hide
Said I knew myself, but I guess I lied

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright

I wrote a hundred pages but I burned them all
(Yeah, I burned them all)
I drove through yellow lights and don’t look back at all
I don’t look back at all

Yeah, you can call me reckless, I’m a cannonball (uh, I’m a cannonball)
Don’t know why I take the tightrope and cry when I fall

All day, all night, now I can’t hide
Said I knew what I wanted but I guess I lied

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright

Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
To be lost sometimes

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright

Good Housekeeping wrote about her experiences. I could relate, but I felt somewhat ashamed. My struggles, compared to hers and Chuck Butler, are tame by comparison.

I looked at this young woman, 30 years old, a child in my eyes – what an inspiration! Sometimes we need to be reminded just how lucky we are. It’s time to turn my attitude back around; that is something I can control.

After another sleepless night, #2 & 3 hit my inbox the morning I was headed to the cancer center to get my test results. The first one came from Chuck Butler in the Daily Pfennig:

“OK… I know that at times I sound doom and gloomy, and I’m really not that kind of person… I’m an optimistic kind of guy, always looking for good… When I was going through Twitter yesterday, I came across this tweet from Jon Gordon, and thought… This is more me… check it out:

‘7 Ways to Make Today a Better Day:

1. Look for the good.

2. Appreciate the little things.

3. Be a helper.

4. Tell someone they matter.

5. Give more than you take.

6. Speak words of encouragement and hope (to yourself and others).

7. Believe the best is yet to come.'”

That’s the Chuck Butler I know. Despite his struggles he is always positive and offering encouragement…

After finishing the Pfennig, I glanced at the clock. I had time for one more email before we had to go. It was from subscriber Charles C. He publishes a cool quote every day. What prompted him to send this quote, on this day and have it appear in my inbox right after the Pfennig? Fate is strange…

“[Christopher] Hitchens kept writing and produced some of his most poignant work after receiving his cancer diagnosis. Yet he never lapsed into sentimentality or self-pity, reminding readers that he was only doing rapidly what we all are doing slowly.” — Alexander Green

I saved the message and headed off to the cancer center, hoping for good results.

A smiling young nurse ushered us into Dr. Patel’s office. He came in, smiled and quickly gave me a thumbs up. All is well, still cancer free, keep on keeping on – repeat the process in three months. I exhaled slowly and felt a tear in my eye. It’s OK!

We then discussed our passion for the Chicago Cubs and their struggles. So much for my pity party – time to get back to work…

Following Chuck’s lead, I need to mention some special people. Walking down the hall to the infusion center, I stopped and talked to David, a great guy who has held our hand and kept us educated for over two years. He is always positive, upbeat, keeps his promises and gets things done.

Two nurses in the infusion center, Diana and Yvette have pandered over me since day one. Even in my darkest days of treatment, their caring, compassion and concern perked me up. They are special people; I don’t know how they do it.

Sometimes being a RetireMentor is just sharing experiences, no matter how trivial they might seem, and hoping others may benefit from them. It’s OK, everything is going to be all right.

After her song, Nightbirde was questioned by Simon, one of the judges. Her quote hit us all like a ton of bricks:

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

Great wisdom from such a young woman. Count your blessings! Yes, the best is yet to come! It’s OK…

FREE: A 7-Step Questionnaire – Am I A Candidate For An Annuity?For more information, check out my website or follow me on FaceBook.

Until next time…

Dennis

www.MillerOnTheMoney.com

“Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn.” – H. L. Mencken

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'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug

More herd pablum with a touch of Christian communism.

falconflight
falconflight

)))You and AP((( Always

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug

Amen, brother! I may need pointers from Stucky. Those down votes are paltry.

Stucky

You want pointers?

You haven’t insulted ENOUGH people, OFTEN enough, and SEVERE enough.

People who have stopped posting here for five years still drop by just to vote me down.

Saxons Wrath
Saxons Wrath

Ah sticky, such a high opinion of yourself and the ability to generate anger in others.
What I find generates the most anger in people is acerbically pointing out that their own stupod/ignorant actions have caused most of their own pain.
Remember, life is tough, period, but it’s just that much tougher if you’re stupid.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug

Stucky is king of the down votes. There is a certain charisma that makes a villain popular.

teo toon
teo toon

Or ignorant. A long life gives you the opportunity to discover just how ignorant you were.

falconflight
falconflight

the opportunity, certainly not a guarantee.

Thunderdolt
Thunderdolt

Ignorance is a choice

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug

O contraire, Thunderdolt. Children with the ability to learn (the more human ones) can be taught malware and neurosis. You might as well say life is fair and government abuse is impossible. Wisdom is hard to find, and the enemy hides it behind guilt, dehumanization, etc. You don’t know what a psychological hole is, either because you don’t know what it’s like for never being abused and indoctrinated, or for not realizing the mental hole that holds you. Maybe you were joking with a name like Thunderdolt.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Or, if you’re gonna be stupid, you have to be tough.

Mygirl....maybe

“More herd pablum with a touch of Christian communism.”

Sigh…sometimes you seem ok, inspired even and then at other times I wonder how you breathe with your head so deeply up your ass.

nkit
nkit

Nice article, Dennis. Glad you are well.

ursel doran
ursel doran

A great rendition of an old tune to play for inspiration, good Sir.

ursel doran
ursel doran

CRAP! FOILED AGAIN.

Machinist
Machinist
Stucky

Here is the song referenced in the article;

Edit: This is about the 5th time I’ve seen the video. STILL need a tissue.

The money line; —-> “You cant’ wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

Stucky

Nightbirdie is still living. From an article in Variety just 3 days ago.

===================== =

Nightbirde, the 30-year-old singer whose original song “It’s OK” stunned judges on NBC’s “America’s Got Talent,” announced that she will be leaving the show to focus on her fight against cancer.

“Sharing my heart with the world on ‘AGT’ has been an honor and a dream come true. My point of view this summer has been astounding. What a miracle that the pain I’ve walked through can be reworked into beauty that makes people all over the world open their eyes wider,” Nightbirde, whose real name is Jane Marczewski, wrote on Instagram.

She continued, “Since my audition, my health has taken a turn for the worse and the fight with cancer is demanding all of my energy and attention. I am so sad to announce that I won’t be able to continue forward on this season of ‘AGT.’ Life doesn’t always give breaks to those that deserve it — but we knew that already. Thank you for all your support, it means the world to me. Stay with me, I’ll be better soon. I’m planning my future, not my legacy. Pretty beat up, but I’ve still got dreams.”

comment image

The “AGT” official Instagram account commented on her post: “We’re keeping you in our thoughts for a full recovery!”

The Zanesville, Ohio, artist revealed her cancer diagnosis while auditioning for “America’s Got Talent.” Her episode aired in June, and soon after, her performance went viral. Show creator and judge Simon Cowell called her voice “absolutely stunning” before pressing the golden buzzer, sending her straight through to the live shows in the competition.

On the show, Nightbirde said she was told she has a 2% chance of survival, “but 2% is not 0%.”

“It’s important that everyone knows I’m so much more than the bad things that happen to me,” Nightbirde said.
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https://variety.com/2021/music/news/nightbirde-americas-got-talent-cancer-drops-out-1235032856/

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