U.S. To Invade Canada To Establish A Democracy

Via Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Meeting in a top-secret, smoke-filled war room, U.S. generals agreed on a plan earlier this week to invade the foreign dictatorship known as “Canada” and establish a democracy there.

“Gentlemen, it’s time,” said General Butch “Meathead” Tanner of the U.S. Army as he munched a cigar. “We can’t let this evil, religious zealot Trudeau oppress his people any longer. It’s time to let freedom ring.”

“And by ‘let freedom ring’, of course, I mean ‘rain down an ungodly amount of explosives,'” he added. “I love democracy.”

A few generals urged caution, pointing out that getting involved in a land war in Canada was “one of the classic blunders,” though they were later shouted down as that’s actually land wars in Asia. Eventually, the vote was unanimous, and troops were mobilized along the Canadian border. Tanks began churning through the snow, running over moose and beavers, and F-22 Raptors screamed into Ottawa blasting away tons of bogeys, which were later revealed to be geese. Horrified Royal Mounties ran away from the combined arms assault, apologizing profusely.

Commander-in-Chief Joe Biden will be notified of the invasion at a later date, or whenever his nap time is over, whichever comes first.

At publishing time, it had been revealed that the plan all along was just to get their strategic reserves of maple syrup.

-----------------------------------------------------
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal

-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)

Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise