HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” – George Washington

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begin.” Mitch Albom

“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.” Mitch Albom

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47 Mother's Day Memes She'll Love in 2023 - Funniest Memes for Moms

“When God Created Mothers”

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

Can it think?”

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

What’s it for?”

It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, ” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”
Erma Bombeck

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37 Comments
Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
May 14, 2023 7:35 am

I had one wish for mother’s day: to sleep in.

So everyone was super quiet and made coffee for me for later.

And then the cat woke me up because among all the thousands of things I do that nobody ever notices, mentions, let alone praise me for is to feed the cat.

I guess it’s nice to know I am needed around here.

Alley Cat
Alley Cat
  Svarga Loka
May 14, 2023 9:03 am

Oh, woman with strange accent and three children, I have come from a great distance, around hedges, through alley ways, between parked cars and fenced yards to speak to you.

Among the cat diaspora your name is spoken in hushed whispers, the faces of the kittens aglow with the thought of you, bellies rumbling, their hearts full with the knowledge that you selflessly feed your cat the best morsels of food from your own table. Your life is like a divine spark animating ours; your noisy children are the symphony that reminds us of your beneficence; your cluttered house is the stuff of feline dreams.

I have come to tell you that your name is praised throughout our world.

We praise you.
We thank you.
We know you as the divine giver of food.

All worship is due you.

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Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
  Alley Cat
May 14, 2023 10:33 am

Thanks, Archie!

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Svarga Loka
May 14, 2023 2:50 pm

Not needed … wanted …

Happy Mother’s Day … celebrate who you are — today, every day — with all you are and all you’ve got …

Boogie
Boogie
May 14, 2023 7:50 am

Happy Mothers Day Moms. You are the cement that holds the foundation of family together.

Majority of my life? THOUGHT 'Cleave'...
Majority of my life? THOUGHT 'Cleave'...
  Boogie
May 14, 2023 8:32 am

…had but One definition:

“Cleave is a verb that means to split or separate something by or as if by a cutting blow with a sharp tool or instrument”

Did much of that, any way imagined.

Only after too many years of 🎶 “looking for love in all the wrong places”🎶 did i discover WHAT it really meant:

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Sincerely, N.T. Bright

Call me Jack
Call me Jack

………..until the Princess gets bored,leaves with half your shyte,and continues her quest for the elusive CHAD.

Mary Christine
Mary Christine
May 14, 2023 8:22 am

I used to read Erma many years ago when there were still newspapers in the yard. I never saw that story. Good one.

My younger daughter sent me a picture of a candle that said “Sorry about my sister. At least you have me”.

Suds
Suds
May 14, 2023 8:35 am

Mine passed in 2010, 20 years after having previously lost her first born, then her spouse, and then her 2nd born, my older brothers.

At her wake, I winged a eulogy, with notes from small scraps of paper I wrote the night before.

TIA, for reading…

Thank You, Mother.
You taught us to Love
-To love our parents, like you did.
To express love for children; especially the little ones, so they learn, and grow into fun, and loving adults.

You taught us to value the simple pleasures in life…family, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.
You taught us frugality and thrift, but also Generosity and Sharing.

Mom, by your example, you taught us the importance of:
Honesty, Integrity, and a good, strong work ethic.
-You taught me to show Kindness toward others;
-especially when a friend was sad, because a simple smile, a compliment, a phone call, or a short visit…
-are small, yet genuine gifts that give Encouragement and Appreciation.

All of us here face difficulties and challenges, and yet, you taught Rick and me that we can survive, cope, and make it through hardships, with Dignity and Grace, by reaching out to others.

“This too, shall pass”, you’d say to us, when we were struggling.

And I learned from you, Mom, that the best therapy for sorrow is to get busy, focus on improving things, and by counting our blessings.

You’ve blessed us, with many gifts. You’ve worked hard, and sacrificed, for us, for the better part of your 80+ years.

You’ve earned the right, to leave this life behind, and move on, to a better place.

It is our hope and belief that you are at Peace, surrounded by Love, and reunited, with your Mom, our Father, and all your relatives and friends.

So, “So long, ~L!”
Not Goodbye, but, Fare well!”

And, for me, I’ll just say: “See you later, Babe.”

In closing, may God bless all of you in attendance here, and all those who cared.
Your friendship, Love, and support is greatly appreciated by me, Rick, and our extended families.
Thank You! from the bottom of our hearts.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Suds
May 14, 2023 9:26 am

Beautiful eulogy, Suds. The day of my Mother’s funeral is when I hit rock bottom, knowing how much disappointment I brought into her life.

Suds
Suds
  TN Patriot
May 14, 2023 9:29 am

Thank you, my TN friend. Geez, during the goodbyes at the end of that wake, I got quite a few compliments for those words, but that’s a testament to her upbringing and influence on me through the years.

Suds
Suds
May 14, 2023 9:33 am

Great picture & thoughts, AP.
That photos shows & projects the character of a great woman, wife, and Mother.

k31
k31
  Suds
May 14, 2023 9:47 am

Ursula Haverbeck is a fine woman.

BL
BL
  k31
May 14, 2023 10:58 am

She is 94, born in 1928.

TampaRed
TampaRed
  BL
May 14, 2023 12:54 pm

ap,
has the case been resolved about the woman who is in her 90 s that was a clerk at one of the camps when she was in her teens & they are going after now —

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 14, 2023 10:03 am

Here’s a mom:

The Ron Paul I Know

And great-grand mom, several times over.

To anyone who misses their mom, I am jealous, and happy for you. Mine was finally able to stop being her horrible self several years ago. I did not attend her funeral (nor my dad’s, though he was less bad than she).

I have a woman whom I’ve addressed as “Mama” since her invitation years ago. She did not bear me, but is more a mother to me than mine ever even tried to be. Here’s to all surrogate moms people know of who carry some slack in this imperfect world.

Undispensable
Undispensable
May 14, 2023 10:19 am

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women of TBP who either had loving mothers or not… but now posess matriarchally caring and nurturing hearts for others… either recognized or unfulfilled… for those present or passed…, and pet moms too. Enjoy your day🙂

Booger
Booger
May 14, 2023 10:41 am

I’m off to the store to get the stuff to make my wife a dinner fit for a queen. Well, the closest I can come with my limited culinary skills.

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Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
May 14, 2023 11:10 am

Mark Twain wrote a beautiful piece, ‘Eve’s Diary’, in 1905 — just one year after his wife Olivia died … and some say that the 2 events are connected.

Here are the final few paragraphs of that work:

“Yes, I think I love him merely because he is MINE and is MASCULINE. There is no other reason, I suppose. And so I think it is as I first said: that this kind of love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just COMES—none knows whence—and cannot explain itself. And doesn’t need to.

“It is what I think. But I am only a girl, the first that has examined this matter, and it may turn out that in my ignorance and inexperience I have not got it right.

“Forty Years Later

“It is my prayer, it is my longing, that we may pass from this life together—a longing which shall never perish from the earth, but shall have place in the heart of every wife that loves, until the end of time; and it shall be called by my name.

“But if one of us must go first, it is my prayer that it shall be I; for he is strong, I am weak, I am not so necessary to him as he is to me—life without him would not be life; how could I endure it? This prayer is also immortal, and will not cease from being offered up while my race continues. I am the first wife; and in the last wife I shall be repeated.

“At Eve’s Grave

“ADAM: Wheresoever she was, THERE was Eden.”

Seems like a fitting tribute to Eve … the First Mother of the Bible …

Happy Mother’s Day, ladies … we couldn’t have done it without you …

clayusmcret
clayusmcret
May 14, 2023 11:13 am

Excellent! Thank you!!

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  clayusmcret
May 14, 2023 3:14 pm

How many years in Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children? When did you serve?

Semper Fi, 1966-68

LoneStar42
LoneStar42
May 14, 2023 11:32 am

Thank you, Mom.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 14, 2023 11:40 am

Soldiers, when in extremis on the battlefield, don’t cry out Daddy, Daddy…your Mom is the brick wall you can put your back against to face the world. Miss you-

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
May 14, 2023 12:02 pm

Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys (for the MIC):

War is a racket. Mom said to stay away from those bad, troublemaker boys. OK, Mom. I’ll stay armed and stay home.

James
James
May 14, 2023 11:58 am

To all the mothers out there,Happy Mothers Day!(oh,and can you make me a sandwich?).

My mum died about 18 months ago and though while regret time I did not spend with her have no regrets of time I did spend with her(not sure her opinion on this!).

I will say for the first 12 hours or soafter she died was in some kind of weird mental state that am sure disappointed her,then had some beers and to me friends horror my dark sense of humor kicked in and started making death jokes about me mum,and am sure me mum was glad to see her son was back!

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Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Administrator
May 14, 2023 1:12 pm

Parents looking to be ‘cool’ for their peers … the other liberals/perverts whose big wet dream is to have a child born trans … the ultimate ‘virtue signal’ …

There was a time when the parents and the ‘performers’ would be arrested and charged and tried for felony child endangerment …

I mean, if parents can face the thugs from CPS for allowing their children under 10 or so to walk more than a block from home by themselves and face both confiscation of their children AND child endangerment …

1984 … a warning, not a guidebook …

i forget
i forget
  Administrator
May 14, 2023 2:36 pm

I look at you all, see the love there that’s sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don’t know why nobody told you
How to unfold your love
I don’t know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you

I look at the world and I notice it’s turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

Well…

I don’t know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don’t know how you were inverted
No one alerted you

I look at you all, see the love there that’s sleeping
[LOVE version:] I look from the wings at the play you are staging.
While my guitar gently weeps
Look at you all
[LOVE version:] As I’m sitting here doing nothing but aging
Still my guitar gently weeps

Santana cover best version ….

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  i forget
May 14, 2023 2:55 pm

Is this the version you mean? If so … wow … Santana is one of THE great guitarists of our generation …

But, like one person said in the comments — thanks to George Harrison for this beautiful piece of music …

i forget
i forget
  Anthony Aaron
May 14, 2023 4:40 pm

that’s the one. agree re GH poetry. but beatles mostly don’t have the sound .. my ears.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Administrator
May 14, 2023 2:43 pm

Wow. That’s Motherfuckers’ Day, not Mothers’ . . .

Feminism was never Not Rotten

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Anonymous
May 14, 2023 2:53 pm

… only if you follow Richard Pryor’s words that ‘mother is only half a word’ …

But — here, today — it’s Mother’s Day … there are 364 other days of the year to be unhappy about women …

messianicdruid
messianicdruid
May 14, 2023 8:01 pm

I had been at a new job out of state for six months when I got the word that Momma had passed. I got in the car and started home and this song came on the radio.

It really fit us. I am her firstborn.