WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a gracious move of bipartisanship, the Senate voted to relax rules to allow their freshman Senator Jabba The Fetterman to take a bath in the reflecting pool.
The rules were immediately relaxed after the Senator from Transylvania described how he would fall into a deep depression were he to not be allowed to bathe naked in the reflecting pool.
“We wouldn’t want our young friend to feel uncomfortable in any way,” said Senator Mitch McConnell over the span of 45 minutes. “Besides, it would be good for the American people to see what the daily life of their elected representatives is like.”
Below is a list of other allowances given to Mr. Fettermanstein over the past few days:
- Bringing in the world’s best tailor for a custom loincloth fitting.
- Senate floor toilet installed so he doesn’t have to get up to go poop.
- Fettermoog is allowed to park his RV in the Capitol driveway as long as he needs.
- Bra optional.
At publishing time, the Senate had voted unanimously to allow Fetterman to climb the Capitol Rotunda with a maiden in-hand to swing at airplanes.
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Free Senator electrical and insulin stock treatments will be next.
Auntie was rather expecting approval for the Festermann to be able to defecate anywhere in the Capitol or on the grounds because he’s special (and retarded.)
Pelosi, McConnell, and Schumer have been taking dumps whenever and wherever they want for years. Aides follow them around with toilet paper that has the USA constitution printed on it.
The photo with the rubber ducky in the Reflection Pool is cute but that’s not Fetterman but a look alike and a poor one at that. How is it that no one in the Congress will speak up about this fraud and start proceedings to have him removed?
You can’t be that dumb
No need for a Senatorial toilet for the hobo from Pennsylvania-he can go down to the pool whenever he has the urge. Only question is if they will drain it every time he takes a dump?
I was there many years ago. There were homeless people sleeping on the benches around it, duck and goose poo all over the place, and the stagnant pool stank from all the feces in it. Fetterman would fit right in.
Milk thru nose funny!
Why naked… Are these people all idiots??? Every single one of them.. There is no, no, normal person between them???