WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a recent interview with a female representative of the segment of the human species identifying as female, Biden made a strong case for why all women everywhere should vote for him without question, or at least let him sniff their hair.
Continue reading “Biden: ‘If You Don’t Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain’t A Woman’”
WASHINGTON, DC—Campaign aides are comforting presidential candidate Joe Biden today at his bedside after he received devastating news. According to sources close to the US. Constitution, the law of the land requires any pick for VP to be at least 35 years old.
“I thought we could get someone younger!” sobbed Uncle Joe as he ate his applesauce. “Someone with a nice set of legs and a scented perfume like the ones all the young dames wear. When I promised a female VP, that’s what I had in mind!”
Continue reading “Biden Dismayed After Discovering The Minimum Age For Vice President Is 35”
“you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.” – 2006
“first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” – 2007
“gonna put ya’ll back in chains.” – 2012
“poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids” – Aug, 2019
Sleepy Creepy Joe Biden
Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter
Remember, we have to believe all women…except when it’s a liberal like Bad Touch Biden who is doing the grabbing, in which case she’s either a lying tramp who wanted it or she simply doesn’t exist. You know, all these differing rules about how we are supposed to react to #MeToo stuff seems really complex and difficult, since they change based on the ideology of the alleged pervert, but it’s really simple if you just understand one simple thing.
The liberal outrage is all a lie and a scam.
Continue reading “Tumbleweeds Greet Credible Sex Abuse Accusation Against Gropey Joe”
U.S.—Representative Ilhan Omar had endorsed Bernie Sanders for president, as they saw eye to eye on the best way to destroy the nation’s economy and liberties.
But Omar was forced to reconsider her endorsement and eventually switched it over to Joe Biden after the former vice president confused his wife and sister at a recent rally.
Continue reading “Ilhan Omar Endorses Joe Biden After He Confuses Wife With Sister”
U.S.—As Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden is constantly in crowds, health officials are greatly concerned that he will catch the coronavirus — which would be especially bad for him as he’s very, very old. Despite these concerns, Biden just can’t follow one of the CDC’s main recommendations to avoid catching the disease: Stop putting your hands all over other people’s faces.
Continue reading “Biden To Defy CDC Warning To Stop Touching Other People’s Faces”
A Joe Biden event on Sunday at a New Hampshire Middle School gymnasium was interrupted by two protesters, who assailed ‘quid pro Joe’ with accusations of being a ‘pervert’ and making money in Ukraine.
“You’ve touched kids on video, and women,” shouted one man, adding “We don’t need another old white man running for president – time to have a minority candidate,” to which Biden – who likely didn’t hear the guy, said “I agree with ya man. I agree. Nice talkin’ with you.”
“You don’t touch kids ever again, the man continued. “Don’t touch kids, you pervert!” he continued, to which Biden shook his head.
“Look it up,” the man told the gasping crowd. “Don’t lie to them, ‘creepy uncle biden,’ look it up!”
The man was led out to a smattering of half-hearted applause from the less than energized crowd.
An upcoming book chronicling the relationship between Barack Obama and Joe Biden reveals that the ‘bromance’ the two grew to share during the White House years has fizzled in the post-White House years, according to “Barack and Joe: The Making of an Extraordinary Partnership.”
Written by the Washington Post‘s nonfiction editor, Steven Levingston, Barack and Joe sheds light on trials and tribulations between the two very different politicians, which may explain Obama’s refusal to endorse Biden’s 2020 bid for the White House, according to the Daily Mail.
The obvious answer is that Obama worked with the guy for eight years and knows he’s a gaffe-prone, gropey, hair-sniffing racist with political baggage – but feel free to continue reading.
