Tag: fat people

AMERICAN FREAKSHOW

“When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.” – George Carlin

MONTEGO BAY RESORT - Updated 2022 Prices & Motel Reviews (North Wildwood, NJ)

When we saw the forecast for this past weekend on Wednesday, we quickly booked a room for Friday and Saturday nights in Wildwood. Even though we are headed back down to the beach in two weeks for our annual vacation, we couldn’t pass up an 80 degree day in May. The Montego Bay hotel is one of only a few that are open all year in Wildwood. It’s kind of dumpy, the staff is grumpy and the one elevator takes five minutes to arrive.

You park underneath and there is always water dripping from somewhere. It always reminds me of that condo tower that collapsed in Miami last year. The rooms are clean and the view from the 5th floor balcony is spectacular, looking out on the Atlantic Ocean. You get to see a stunning sunrise, majestic sailboats, and dolphins frolicking close to the beach.

Of course it’s easier to see when there isn’t a five story pile of sand in front of your hotel and the beach access is blocked off. It’s normally peaceful when there aren’t dump trucks and other heavy machinery operating from 6:00 am until 4:00 pm. It’s also quieter when your ghetto neighbors in the next room aren’t blasting their music at volume 11. It seems the North Wildwood authorities attempt to defeat Mother Nature every year by replenishing the beach that washes away every winter during coastal storms. So they pile up tons of sand and truck it up and down the North Wildwood beaches all spring, trying to create a decent sized beach by Memorial Day. It’s not working so well this year.

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Fat People

Guest Post by The Zman

Last month when I was in line waiting to vote, I spotted an extremely fat woman. She was so fat, her ankles rubbed together. Judging by the three gallon bucket of soda pop in her hand, I’m assuming she was not the victim of elephantiasis or some other disease. Everything about her was fat, even her head, which was the size of a bowling ball and covered in pink-dyed fur. How she was able to get around with hundreds of pounds of fat attached to her is a mystery. I would think the mere act of toting around so much weight would result in weight loss.

Last week, I stopped at the ghetto market for a few items and spotted a couple in the snack aisle. The man was something like a large ball with arms and legs. I estimated his diameter was close to 24 inches. That would mean his belt was 75 inches. His wife was of similar size. My first thought was how they were able to, you know, enjoy the marital bed. Is it even possible that they find one another attractive? I suppose it is possible that all of their energies are focused on moving around their girth and finding enough food to maintain their weight so sex is a non-issue.

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