fire him – The Burning Platform

I feel like Dirty Harry the way I’ve been gunning down stinking retailers today. And now I’ve got Ron Johnson, the worst retail CEO in history, laying on the ground with my 44 Magnum pointed at his fat ego inflated head. And I’m itching to pull the trigger.

Ron Johnson has been the CEO of JC Penney since November 2011. In the space of 14 months this douchebag has single-handedly destroyed a retailer that has been around for over 100 years. His stunning incompetence is breathtaking to behold. I worked for a horrible retail CEO at IKEA named Pernille Lopez. She was as dumb as a sack of hammers, but she was unable to destroy IKEA. Johnson arrived at JC Penney with his Apple Ego and $400 million fortune and proceeded to prove that a retard could have done a better job by throwing darts at a list of ideas to improve the company.

It is almost incomprehensible what he has been able to accomplish in one year on the job. Here is a link to their results.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/j-c-penney-company-inc-213101438.html

Here is the verdict:

In a virtually impossible feat, this guy was able to REDUCE JC Penney sales by $4.3 BILLION in one fucking year. I swear to God a retarded shit eating monkey couldn’t accomplish that feat. This is a stunning 25% reduction in sales. And it actually got worse in the 4th quarter, with a 28% decline. The 28% decline INCLUDED an extra week of sales versus the prior year.
Comparable store sales in the 4th quarter were down 31.7%.
He managed to LOSE $552 million in one quarter and $985 million for the year. The year before he arrived they lost $152 million.
He managed to lose $600 million of cash in one year. He only has $930 million left.
While Macys online sales went up 47%, JC Penny online sales plunged by 33%. This guy can’t get bricks and mortar or online right. He’s a jack-off of all trades.
Gross margins are plunging and inventory has dropped by $550 million.
Interestingly, their merchandise payables are up 10%. Someone is a little slow paying their bills. When suppliers start to get worried, it will be all over Ron Johnson.
This is a company that was using its “spare” cash to buyback stock when it was $50 a share. Today it is trading at $18 a share. Target and Home Depot are using this same strategy today.

Ron Johnson is a disgrace. JC Penney is a public company and its Board of Directors are a disgrace. This asshole should be fired immediately. They are paying this motherfucker millions to drive this company into the ground. It seems his free kids haircuts on Sundays didn’t turn things around. To show you what a fucking ego he has, he didn’t even move to Plano Tx when he took the job. He still lives in San Francisco and commutes several times a week in a corporate jet.

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After concluding the worst year ever by a retailer of this size, here is what this rocket scientist had to say:

“We have accomplished so much in the last twelve months. We believe the bold actions taken in 2012 will materially improve the Company`s long-term growth and profitability.”

Delusional doesn’t come close to describing this asshole. The hubris of making a statement like that is appalling. He should be on his fucking knees apologizing to the employees and few remaining customers for the atrocious management and dreadful decisions he has made. But you will hear none of that. He doesn’t give a fuck about the thousands of employees who will lose their jobs when this disaster sinks to the bottom of the retail graveyard. He is responsible for 159,000 employees. Most or all will lose their jobs. This fucker will get a $10 million severance package and fly off to his gated estate in Silicon Valley. I love watching the Wall Street dickheads who have continually come out with positive reports on this dog of a company be proven to be shills and shysters.