Fed-Up Employee Just About 14 Years Away From Walking Out Door

 

WALTHAM, MA—Frustrated with a growing list of unacceptable workplace indignities, fed-up Catamount Systems employee Marc Holden is just about 14 years away from walking out the front door of his office and never returning, sources confirmed Thursday. “I swear to God, if things don’t improve around here real fast, I am out of here in 14 years or so—I am not bluffing,” Holden said, noting that if he has to endure just a decade and a half more of company-wide incompetence and pointless micromanagement, he is gone for good. “Seriously, I don’t think I can take any more than 3,000 more days of this before I snap. Mark my words, if 2029 rolls around and it’s still the same old shit around here, I’m cleaning out my desk, getting on that elevator, and never coming back.” Holden added that if his boss belittled him in front of the entire staff just 200 more times, he would storm right into his office and tell him exactly where he can stick it.

Via The Onion


5
Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Bostonbob

OK, OK I admit it, I am Marc Holden.
Marc.

Rise Up
Rise Up
DC Sunsets

I was just turned down for a job with the firm that bought the two drugs I was paid to promote.

The new company has a reputation for tracking its sales reps via GPS locators. It demands its employees make 10 face-to-face sales calls per day on the customers it designates to the reps, despite the fact that many of its customers spend relatively few hours per week in their offices (much of their time is devoted to performing medical procedures, which pay a lot better than prescribing drugs.)

The new company has a reputation for putting any reps in the bottom half of the sales rankings on Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs); few employees are able to pull a rabbit out of the hat and get off the PIP still employed. Most of the time a PIP is a polite way to say, “we’re going to fire you in a month or two. Go somewhere else, we don’t care where.”

To say I was relieved to NOT get a job there is an understatement.

This is the New Normal for a lot of occupations, as I understand it.

Our economy is rapidly bifurcating into a large pool of minimum wage (often part-time) jobs and a dwindling number of well-paid, upper middle class jobs. The latter are, on balance becoming punishing to the point of caricature. Employers have all the power (due to a vast pool of available, qualified job candidates) so they respond to the incentive to treat employees like dead meat.

Ironically, treating employees shabbily has predictably bad effects on firms’ production, but the urge to control people is so strong among managers that they can’t seem to help themselves.

DC Sunsets

Going into teaching, because it looks cushy?

One of my wife’s colleagues, a First Grade classroom teacher, is having to CHANGE DIAPERS NOW.

Yes, you too can go to college to obtain a job as a teacher, and you will be wiping the asses of handicapped students in your classroom. Thanks to the ADA, no child regardless of physical, mental or emotional handicap, will be excluded from the classroom.

You will also likely need additional training in case there’s a “CODE YELLOW,” which means a student is having some sort of behavioral fit and is screaming, swearing at everyone, THROWING CHAIRS at people, spitting on classmates, etc.

Your CODE YELLOW training teaches you how to restrain said student without hurting him or her, although you may be bitten or kicked so make sure your health insurance is paid-up. We’re still not sure if that’s a Workers’ Comp claim.

Maybe only if they break the skin.

And if you have kids in school, LOOK FOR THIS. It’s called the “Inclusion Model,” and I guarantee your sons and daughters are sitting next to Time Bombs.

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

Does anybody know what happened with Varnelius’ Cook’s War? I was looking forward to hearing about the outcome of the battle.
Although the folks here have made up for what I missed hearing about someone with a shittier job, if it will help somebody else from slicing their wrists, I will tell you my tale of woe:
The bosses let most of the techs go four years ago. The support system I had disappeared, guys who knew and understood well the manipulative, sneaky, underhanded and totally self-impressed beautiful blonde.
I could have left with the rest but I thought I’d stick it out. I work with a type A personality, I looked it up. They have her picture. A dumbass who likes to grab more projects than she can easily screw up (I would have said handle but she doesn’t handle them, she farms them out to idiots like me). Then I become a sort of handy, talking Google; what is a —, where is—..
I’m the muscle for this helpless female, I’m her brain and when she is in a needy mood, I’m her henpecked husband.
A colege gradutate taking orders from a former beer bitch, I’ve sold my soul. If things don’t change between now and then, I may retire once I turn 62.

Discover more from The Burning Platform

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading