ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Boston Bob sent this essay to me. It’s his daughter Erin’s first essay in college. I think she has a gift. Our last best hope during this Fourth Turning is for millennials like Erin to pave a path to a new and better future. When I read essays like this, it gives me hope. Her professor better giver her an A or the TBP monkey army will attack. 🙂

For many people it’s easy to say that family is the most important thing in life. Family is what drives you crazy but keeps you sane; it challenges but always supports you: it allows you to become an individual but is there to welcome you back as a part of its whole. The best part of my life is not only my family but, my ability to appreciate them. The stories my father read before bedtime and the songs my mother sang to help me sleep are more vivid in my memory than the toys I was sure could not live without. My dad’s offers to drive hours just to hug me, my mother’s insistence that she never lets go of my hand¬, and their constant advice on every matter have all weighed heavy in importance to the way I think today.

Attending school in my small town made it very easy to be swept away by social standards. It’s exhausting to live in a place where the price of your shoes and the way you do your hair are crucial to the outcome of your day. I observed my peers whose parents I knew gave them whatever they wanted. The discussions turned from the amount of designer sweatshirts someone owned to the resentment towards parents most kids found didn’t really care for their well being.

It broke my heart to watch a teammate of mine swallow her tears when she found her father would not be attending our gymnastic meet for the fourth time in a row. At that point I believe she would have preferred her father to watch her compete and driven her home rather than gotten into her brand new car alone. An investment in some children was a literal deposit, however, what my family invested in me was far different.

When dad tucked me into bed as a child he would say to me, “If I had one million dollars I wouldn’t buy anything because I have everything I need.” I always asked wouldn’t he want to buy a new car? or pay for college? This concept seemed so absurd. In my mind I knew I could replace my mother’s worn out Honda and my dad would be able to use his vacation days. “Stuff is stuff,” he would tell me, and the phrase, as I understand it now, is perfect in its simplicity.

People are not stuff; family and good friends are not stuff; and love and happiness are not stuff. Stuff is stuff, and that’s what makes material items so insignificant in comparison to things that truly matter. Every time he held the door for someone or thanked them for working hard I observed a small portion of my father’s wisdom. People still appreciated his humor and kindness even if he couldn’t leave a tip.

Not only did my parents preach about being kind to others, they extended these morals to everyone around them. I counted numerous friends of theirs pass through our home. They would all come to enjoy the food provided, the entertainment of my parents, and leave with irreplaceable memories. When I grew older I realized how much time and energy my parents spared for these friends.

From helping them move, giving them a place to stay, and even buying one of their children a cell phone my parents did whatever they could to help. Even though at times when I felt they were being taken advantage of, they continued to give more. It was never about the money they spent but always the impact they made to help another person. They forgave people who exploited them and treated each with kindness all the same.

These ideas of selflessness and generosity gave me the confidence to pursue work rebuilding after Hurricane Katrina in Mississippi. Working for only one week appeared to have barely skimmed the surface problems being faced but, to the families I met the labor was immensely appreciated. These people didn’t have car payments or a mortgage to worry about because many didn’t have cars and their homes had been demolished.

While my parents worried about tuition these victims were more distracted with where their next meal would be coming from. Even with hardly anything to give many people opened their homes to us. Their appreciation for my work mirrored my feelings for my parents. I was able to empathize and thank them for helping me continue to understand all that my parents have taught me.

Actions speak louder than words. Lead by example. These classic clichés may be overused but they have truth. I could easily be wrapped up in a world where the number of followers I have overshadows the number of times I realize how fortunate I am and, the amount of online ‘friends’ I’ve accumulated mean more than the ones standing in front of me.

What if my father had handed me a credit card instead of his favorite book? or my mother held her cell phone nonstop instead of my hand? I am indebted to my parents because they gave me the tools to understand the imperative components of the life they gave me. I realize now that one million dollars would be able to pay for my education, my parent’s mortgage, and so much more; however, it would not strengthen the ties I have with my loved ones. You can always work for more money or keep buying more things but the amount of stuff you have does not directly cause happiness.

I still know what I would do with one million dollars but, it involves less budgeted for myself and more for the people who need and deserve it. The appreciation I have gained from my parents has opened many doors throughout my life. They continue to spend each moment being truly considerate, incredible people leaving a clear impression on me.