CALL IT RETIREMENT

Hat tip Suzanne

Via Bison Prepper

Over the years-or at least the last twenty or twenty five years or so, after guys got all pussy whipped and worthless- the subject of talking your spouse into allowing room in the budget for prepping has been a hot topic. I wrote a book on it, Survival Divorce, where after embarrassing personal experience I can attest to the effectiveness of combining frugal preparations with leaving stupid dumb bitches who would rather have you and the children die rather than reduce her living standard now ( if she still had her looks she could always pimp herself out to the new warlord on the block-an ancient female survival mechanism. Hey, don’t take it personally. You were, maybe, only her baby daddy. Not her red hot lover. Maybe, because something like up to a quarter of offspring are the product of cuckolding ). And no, it wasn’t like I was the smart and strong one who left her. She took the kids and left. But it was a very expensive lesson I did learn well.

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Alas, I understand not all of you can leave the testicle wearing wife ( you think you have it bad, after the wife castrated you and pickled your balls and put them on the mantelpiece for you to gaze forlornly upon? Put yourself in Barry The Kenyan Golfers shoes. Think about having to service that transvestite fugly bastard. Even if you float that way. You know she definitely wears the pants in that family ). Until the kids are old enough, your punk ass bitch life is owned. I say, leave the bitch anyway and suffer the pay cut. As if it was a paycut. You went from earning $25 k a year and seeing nothing but room and board to seeing 55% going to the ex. Subtract taxes to get whatever is left over. Usually not enough for even a loft apartment and Top Ramen for dinner every night. If you figure out how to get your rent down, perhaps living in your car and showering at the gym, you have actual prep money left over. I get it, $400 a month gross budget might not seem to be worth leaving the wife. Ah, newsflash dude, a wife like that? Worth giving up 80% of your pay anyway, no matter what the motivation. The kids will eventually get old enough to free you from the Ex Wife Tax. The alternative is wasting your life supporting a user and a hater.

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But what if you don’t want to leave? Like, she is okay in all aspects except she refuses to see that all empires implode and we are, with hundreds of military bases around the world and free oil for Treasury Bonds, obviously an empire. She thinks ethanol is a beneficial additive to gasoline rather than a desperate attempt at stretching out our dwindling oil supply by starving the middle east peasants of corn. She has a nice rack and is a pleasant conversationalist. Whatever. I won’t judge, not after four wives under my belt ( of course, I learned after wife #2 that all new Old Ladies could accept my prepping or piss off, no discussion. I have never again lived in abject fear of being nuked [ as the collapse of the Soviet Union unfolded, there were some concerns that a nuclear exchange could have been initiated by the Politburo as a desperate Hail Mary ] without at least some hope of supplies being of some use. Not that I used that scare wisely. I have no dosimeter or similar equipment. The point is, if I take THAT scare seriously again, I’ll have the option of responding because I no longer picked the wrong domestic partner ).

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The point here is that whatever you are doing, leaving the old spouse and planning your sales pitch for the new one, or first starting out on selling the prepping idea to the spouse, or possibly but I’m unsure how well a change in arguments will work, switching from doom and gloom to another plea to persuade your wife that preps are a good idea, you might want to think about forgetting the Civilization Collapse Scenario and switch over to the Stockpiling For A Diminished Financial Capacity During Retirement Scenario ( heretofore henceforth referred to as just “retirement” ). No wife wants to hear about civilization collapse. She worked hard at getting this perfect house, and there is no way she wants to believe that millions of restless urban ghetto dwellers shall overrun it in search of another SNAP card that actually works after the lights go out. Look at it from a females point of view. These are the bitches that literally starve themselves to achieve the perceived perfect weight and body shape. They smoke to suppress their appetite. They stay in perpetual debt to have nice clothes and a nice car and a nice house in a nice location with nice looking children. To her, it is all about hen pecking order placement, or even just belonging to a pack of hens. It is all about appearances. This is hardwired, not optional.

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Guys will also seek to belong. We pick a perceived leader and as long as he is worthy, will follow his leadership. He just needs to prove himself. And there is your difference. Guys are performance orientated, girls are societal orientated. A guy at work will bust his ass, and if he has a girl boss he is not perceived as an adequate worker. He has no time to ingrain himself in with the group as he is too busy actually doing something. Bitches perform a needed and important role in groups, they just don’t belong in the workplace where relationships are less important than task completion. But, to end that digression, the point is that gals don’t think in terms of planning for the future as well as guys ( and to my female minions, who you know I love more than the rest because you have the courage to go against the norm, you do understand I’m speaking in generalities here-there are always exceptions to prove the rule ).

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Well, I should say they don’t plan for non-group approved futures. College is okay. You must be perceived a better mother who wants the best for her spawn, so college planning by kindergarten is acceptable. You wonder why all those soccer moms running around as a taxi service do it? Is it love? Or is it her gaining group bonus points? Anyway, planning for the apocalypse, outside of Mormons who are given the dictate by the church to procreate wildly, earn more money so their tithe is increased ( and so they can earn even more money for more kids so more future LDS dues payers are ready and waiting to fill their roles-and, no, Virginia, I’m not hating on the Mormons who just took a page out of the Papists rulebook ) and more importantly for our discussion here, prep for the apocalypse, no other female is likely to have prepping on the approved plan list by her hen flock.

We’ve talked about how to fool the spouse into allowing you to take some of your own money to stockpile and prepare for the collapse, by perhaps not spooking her with doom and gloom but instead pretend it is all for retirement. I know, you know, and Ross Perot knows that Social Security is a Ponzi scheme of insane magnitude, only surpassed by planning on the Oil Age lasting forever. Social Security was a brilliant move by the crippled demon spawn FDR, the first step in driving a wedge between family members by granting seniors financial independence. It broke up the three generational family which was the staple of the family farm. The other attack on our culture was to start the Women’s Lib crap by putting women to work for the first time. Both of these policies also started to demolish the old barter economy and forced everyone towards the central banker controlled Greenback Economy ( least you forget, the vicious anal spelunking FDR confiscated all our gold just days after being elected ).

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Even if nobody can articulate their fears about Social Security ( the reason why old farts react so vigorously when youngsters show anger that they themselves while paying in at an increased rate will never receive any benefits is because those old bastards never understood how evil the system was and hence never took measures to survive without it. Both fear, being financially destitute, and defensiveness at being a chump for supporting the welfare police state in its infancy, account for their illogical response to other generations resenting their “windfall” ), almost everyone that is working class or poor ( the 80-90% who are the peasants rather than the Oppressor Class ) will agree with you when you proclaim absolutely zero confidence that the retirement system will be around when you are ready to retire. Everyone agrees that SS is just another screw job by the federals, a tax in all but name. They still HOPE to get it, even while having no replacement due to shrinking wages and fears of inflation, but they know the pain will hit them sooner or later with only the timing an unknown.

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So how hard would it be to convince people that what you are doing is for retirement? Even if some argue with you, almost all will understand it. Your spouse included. So the first thing you should do is shut up about Armageddon. No one wants to hear that. You aren’t doing them any favors, because they have enough stress in their lives as it is, and you aren’t doing yourself any favors by letting folks know of your deep larder. I used to try to “help” people by trying to convince them that the end was nigh. I quite that after awhile, and just stockpiled paperback copies of Lucifer’s Hammer and Howard Ruff’s early work. When a friend or coworker expressed further interest in survivalism during routine daily conversations, I gifted them a copy of each book. At the time the thrift stores had plenty of copies and my cost was usually fifty cents to a dollar. It was a cheap and safe way to “pay it forward”. It wasn’t until I hit about fifty that I realized, hey, why am I killing myself trying to explain to the spouse what I am doing? I’m getting to be old myself. I’ll just pretend this is all for retirement!

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Now, obviously, nobody has ten guns and five thousand rounds of ammunition for retirement. Unless they know you shoot regularly, you can’t really explain that one away. But, if they know you shoot every month for recreation, you can explain stockpiling in terms of inflation and election year generated shortages. Remember, you are trying to hide most of your stuff from both friends AND family. The idea was to get a budget, not to approve each separate item. You could go to the range and shoot just ten rounds, once a month, and if you make a production out of it nobody will question your case buying ( they think you were shooting a lot more ). About everything else can be explained by retirement rather than a hobby. You need extra food because of inflation, shortages, and the coming problem with having much cash ( as retirement funds are cut back and inflation hits ). Rotating will explain why you are buying six month shelf life food twenty years before retirement, and no explanation will be needed for thirty year shelf life stuff, as long as you eat it now.

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And you don’t even need to be all that old to sell this illusion. Young’uns can talk about early forced retirement or permanent unemployment. Not so hard to believe anymore. Want to buy junk land? Don’t sell it as a retreat for the collapse but rather a vacation lot ( to save money ) and a place to live if you have to and have no other choice ( pretend to be as reluctant to live primitively as the wife is ) if retirement ends up being short on cash. Your wanting to replace a car with a bike is a sure wife pleaser. You get in shape, please her in bed with your improved cardio and save money. And, you stay in shape for retirement ( if you volunteer to be the one without a car, I can guarantee you your prep plans will meet less resistance. Be a man and take one for the team ). Stocking shoes and clothing? Beating inflation for retirement. Solar panels? Saving money during retirement. Same with extra insulation on the house, or moving to a smaller home. You are planning and investing now to be much more secure in retirement. Don’t sell it as survivalism but investment to reduce your need for money while still staying comfortable. This plan doesn’t include night vision or other Tommy Tactical Toys. Sorry. You don’t need that crap anyway. This also ties in to the “Prosperous Peasant Plan” book I’m starting any day now. A lifetime worth of little items that make living easier and safer and more enjoyable. Call it beating inflation and investing for a less generous Social Security retirement payout and you have covered your tracks as a mad bomber prepper.