Kim Jong Un Offers to Host Peace Talks Between United States and Canada

Guest Post by Andy Borowitz

SINGAPORE (The Borowitz Report)—One day before his summit with Donald J. Trump, the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, has offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada.

Speaking to reporters at his hotel in Singapore, Kim said that the rising tensions between the North American neighbors were posing an “intolerable threat to world peace.”

In addition to offering to host U.S.-Canada talks in Pyongyang, Kim urged the immediate creation of a demilitarized zone along the border separating the two hostile nations.

“In exchange for Canadian Mounties agreeing to stand down on their side of the border, the United States, in turn, would dismantle its nuclear weapons,” Kim said.

Although stating that “North Korea stands ready and willing to be an honest broker” in peace talks between the two countries, he urged Trump to dial back the “inflammatory rhetoric” that he aimed at Canadians over the weekend.

“Violent language and threats have no place in international diplomacy,” Kim said.

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9 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
June 14, 2018 9:50 am

A new haircut might improve his mental proficiency.

Francis Marion
Francis Marion
June 14, 2018 10:00 am

America is sunk.

We have people everywhere now.

Arizona, Florida, New Mexico. We look like you, talk like you, drive the same trucks, watch the same TV, we blend in perfectly.

Eh.

TampaRed
TampaRed
  Francis Marion
June 14, 2018 5:47 pm

doubly wrong–
all we have to do is put on a snowbird extravaganza,bring in some washed up canuckatainers,give away free food,and you guys will come out of the palmettos,er,rv parks–

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 14, 2018 11:16 am

Nobel for Kim Jong Un.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 14, 2018 11:42 am

Too bad Maggito (Maggie’s Japanese name) will have to stop listening to Leonard Cohen. Trekkies along with Groundhog Day fans (Stripes) will be on the watch list. We will round up the dirty Canucks and put them in the old Japanese concentration camps.

Time to send the troops to patrol Niagara Falls. Build the wall!
EC

Penforce
Penforce
June 14, 2018 12:02 pm

I listen to Radio Free Canada all the time. They play the songs but won’t tell you the artist. They just say “Guess Who?”

Gerold
Gerold
June 14, 2018 2:24 pm

Thanks, Admin. That’s way too funny!