You know it’s bad when I honestly have to applaud the fact you managed to put pants on because the rest of what you got going on leads me to believe most of the time that’s hit or miss for you.
You ever have a tablecloth that just isn’t quite long enough to fall over the edge and you think if you just take it to the end of the table it will be fine? Spoiler alert, it’s never fine.
I always love when Jesus goes with guerrilla marketing tactics. My favorite part might be the “Tell Hell No” with the cross for the T.
Lady, I think you need assistance with more than just the self-checkout…wait. Actually, that might be all you need. Improve your ability to check yourself out before you leave the house.
Ah yes, the infamous Yankee Doodle Dandy.
It appears Rocco’s life is getting a little too modern if you ask me.
Listen to your own advice and keep rolling back until you’re out of my sight.
Maybe he got bit by one of those radioactive cross-dressing spiders?
Looks like that thing is gonna absorb all the water in the pool.
I feel bad for all those super hairy dudes that need to go full body shave to keep cool in the summer. Clearly, not this guy, he’s just a weirdo but he got my brain juices flowing.
Way to stay committed. We can call you like A LOT of different names, but hypocrite isn’t one of them.
Guys. Please do not be as stupid as I assume you’re going to be and put your nuts anywhere near her!
The scene:
A calm country road, on a nice Spring day.
An Amish carriage, slowly making its way along a westbound lane.
A county sheriff on patrol, notices a violation, and signals the carriage to stop.
A pretty young woman, wearing a bonnet, is the sole occupant and carriage operator.
“I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer. “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous.”
“I thank thee,” replied the Amish lady. “I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home.”
“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband do something about that, too.”
“Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home.”
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the incident, and the broken reflector.
Guntar tells her he will replace it, and put a new one on immediately.
“Wait. There’s more.” she says.
“The policeman also thinks there is something wrong with the emergency brake.”