Submitted by a TBP reader
I am a woman, around the age of 30. I have been in a happy relationship for eight years now. I have always been of the opinion that marriage is a worthy institution and something that is a commitment and oath of solidarity. My boyfriend does not feel the same.
We are happy together. We trust each other. We love each other. We know each other incredibly well, and we keep each other sane in a crazy world.
So what is the benefit of marriage? Is it necessary? Is it worth the trouble of reaching out to the government for approval of being together and roping assets together? Are the divorce rates compared to the ending of relationships that are simply domestic partnerships something to take into account? Is marriage something that is dying out as the next generation finds their way?
You should get married because God commands it. You should get married before you have any children because the law protects mothers and children from abandonment. You should get married to protect your legal interest in the financial assets you are currently sharing with your boyfriend. If he stays with you until you are middle aged or older and then dumps you for a younger version, what are your prospects for claiming his social security or part of his pension…or health care coverage. You should talk to an attorney before you make such an obviously ignorant decision. God’s law and man’s law protects the married woman, not the single woman living in sin.
Perhaps you could introduce me to that Big Guy in the Sky and HE and I can have a beer together?
The big guy or gal, makes no difference. Marriage is a contract, giving birth to human life is a serious thing. Spreading your “seed” because it feels good with no repercussions is a problem. Contrary to atheist thinking, faith is the glue that propels humanity forward. I can’t imagine humanity and animal husbandry as the same. Many in the past have categorized certain people as subhuman, the genocide that followed speaks volumes.
“…faith is the glue that propels humanity forward.”
No doubt you feel that way about Islam, yes?
Is a “guy” and gave us the clue: created the man and FROM the man created the woman.
Creation came accompanied by time, therefore – the Un-Created One has no time of beginning, either thime of ending…
Romans 6:14-15 KJV… “ For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.”
Thank God people are no longer under His law. See Leviticus 26 for more clarity. There is no picking and choosing which laws suit you and which do not. You keep them all or you are screwed. Unless of course you practice ritual animal sacrifice in the Temple via the Levite priesthood. Temporary remittance is then available.
Galatians 3:10 KJV… “For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse: for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them.”
Lest you think me antinomian…
1 Timothy 1:8 KJV… “But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully;“
The “lawful” use of the law today is to prove to man that he cannot keep it.
Romans 3:20 KJV… “Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.”
The knowledge of sin ought to drive a man or woman to the cross of Christ.
Galatians 3:13 KJV… “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:”
Romans 5:8 KJV… “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
I think it’s very important to be married if you are going to bring children into the equation.
OMG, Kiss of the Spider Woman is getting a classic TBP welcome. This place is brutal!
I’m 32, and have been married since 23. I’m a pretty conservative guy, and also do not really think government can sanction a marriage. Its just paper, right?
Like many things in life, its a very personal choice. My advice may not work for you, but I’ll bite:
1. We married to make medical decisions/tax/paperwork easier.
2. Having the same last name also helped with the above point.
3. Neither one of us has families that are interested in having us around. This was OUR chance to have our own family. Normal Christmases. Sing songs. Work and play together. It was symbolic, ya know?
4. The wedding ring prevents us from being hit up for sex near as often (go away swinger groups, please stop bothering us!)
5. Ultimately, the ceremony and title was us telling the world “THIS is my mate for life, don’t like it? we don’t care.”
I’m not sure if that’s the sort of thing you wanted. Hope it helps.
Good point, Pessimist. Spiderwoman (Patricia Parker) makes the same argument – you have to lock it in if you want to keep it. Although that is hardly a guarantee when the womanizers and homewreckers swoop in. The world is full of claim jumpers who want to save time and effort by poaching on somebody else’s boon.
I think after the SO had his bout with cancer he realized it was in his best interests for me to NOT get away. We know so many guys who are decent to good looking, nice guys, reasonably fit, have money, they just can’t find a decent (weight, looks, attitude) woman to even date much less consider building a future together. To me, it’s US vs. the world.
I’d say ditto but not quite. 66 and 24 to 48. We did concur on your five points though. Until Oprah infected her with feminism in the mid 90’s, and DivorceCorp ended it in the 2000’s. Nevermore. Interestingly I’m very happy alone, and with ‘friends’; she’s miserable and extremely lonely.
Beautiful – to make it more than “social”, to be spiritual (of the soul, n0t only spirit…) it needs the blessing and the holy union.
Christmas is not just a symbol and some enterteinment… but the remembrance that He came in this world for real and we may better listen what did say…
The Government does not certify “free of sin” the sex between un-bleesed … “partners”.
There are spiritual aspects of 2 becoming 1 flesh that requires a ’til death do us part’ commitment. In sickness and in health is also pledge seldom achieved by fuck buddies. Plus there are legal protections in both life and death. Marriage is important in many ways.
Good answer.
Patricia makes many excellent points. There is an old saying for lots of men “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free.” A crude statement but tragically true for many men who want the “relationship” but are reluctant to make a lifetime commitment in the eyes of God. John
You didn’t mention the advent of any children. If no kids I don’t care. Shack to your heart’s content. If kids are in play you’re damn right marry. I don’t care what any supposed expert tells you, children want to come home to a mommy and daddy and that’s the only environment that makes well adjusted valuable adults. Enough of the rest of us have the burden of dealing with feral young monsters ‘raised’ by single mothers. Tie the fucking knot or get spayed.
Exactly. If he doesn’t want to get married – something that needn’t involve an inordinate cost or effort – he’s basically saying he wants to keep his options open, in case someone better comes along. That’s fine if you’re ok with it, but it’s a sad approach if there are kids involved. Don’t think they wouldn’t be aware that their parents are unwilling to commit to each other. It affects their sense of security and their self-worth. That’s how most black people in America live – their commitment to their family is tenuous and conditional. They don’t buy life insurance on themselves for the benefit of their children; they buy life insurance on their children for the benefit of themselves. They’re less stable overall, which is why they ask each other “where you stay at?” rather than “where do you live?” Asians are the opposite. They have the lowest rate of illegitimacy and the lowest rate of divorce. Accordingly, they over perform in amassing wealth – which they can pass on to their children.
Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw a long time ago: Married But Looking
“Enough of the rest of us have the burden of dealing with feral young monsters ‘raised’ by single mothers. “
Feminism and DivorceCorp turns 50+% of state sanctioned “marriages” into that anyhow.
22 years of marriage here and we have raised two great children together. In my opinion, the purpose of marriage is to produce offspring. Sure, you can make babies out of wedlock, but Mom and Dad being committed to each other and the family makes raising better people easier. The whole “MGTOW” movement is one I sort of understand, but if you’re a good woman and he won’t marry you and make some babies, I gotta wonder if you should maybe looks elsewhere if these things are important to you.
Anon, I think Mustang has issues with the dread Family Court and cunts in general. I am not sure his MGTOW is an anti-marriage campaign for free love.
There’s no “free love”.
The woman is always paying for the stupidity to offer her body to being used and even – because I’m free to do whatever I want with my body! – …. impregnated with multiple male DNA “personalities”, instead of stop obbeying Cultural Marxist sexual indoctrination and demonic hinduism (yoga) promoted especially since the 6o’s.
Thank you hippies, gurus, in-holy-wood, rock, metal, rap… satanist hipnotic, noisy and silly sounds…
This is a self-distructing attitude of all and each woman, leading to insanity, ilnesses, sadness and sometimes suicide.
Totally agree. My son is grown and gone (27) and my current BF wants to get married and I do not. I make WAY more money than he does, but have provided a life insurance policy of 1/2 a million for him in the case I am hit by a bus. We are both in our 40’s and don’t want any kids. So the benefit of marriage is nill, we don’t own any property together either. He earns more than enough to earn his keep if we go our separate ways, but if we married and got divorced, I would take a huge financial hit. No thanks. No kids, no reason to marry. Living wills, health care proxies, those all work in the place of a wife/husband becoming sick or incapacitated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta8W8VRNbx0
I think most states will hit you anyway once you have lived together a certain time. You may already be married under state law and do not know it.
Yup, common law marriage is typical after 7 years of cohabitation.
Yep, common law.
No reason to marry – do not live like married ones – is spiritualy dirty.
If you have a child – be blessed, you should never get married if your husband died..If was a divorce, that is not going to be forgotten… in the last minutes the regrets will change nothing.
If the relationship is rather about money, the relation is similar to sex with a prostitute long time known… sorry but wake up!
If you’re afraid to stay alone – pay and hope.
I know of at least 3 women who split or were left as they got just a bit older. They each were left with no resources, assets or work history and had a very hard time of it. It’s easy to find a partner when you’re young, but it changes dramatically as you age. Marriage is one way to secure equality of treatment under the law, and economically. Getting old alone is hard. Find someone who will commit.
marriage = legal children
marriage != happiness, security, comfort, acceptance, love, respect, or anything else promised.
I know a couple who is in the same boat, the boy, (not a man) does not want to part with his huge inheritance, and she won’t sign a prenup, but neither wants kids, so it continues.
Usually, relationships last 3 years, and then it is shit or get off the pot.
Ladies, please chime in on the 3 year commitment/deadline.
If you and your man are a good match and are mature enough to make it work given whatever personality conflicts and struggles in adapting to your new lives together (not to mention the inevitable challenges that life brings unexpectedly in addition to the difficulties and changes that simply getting older is guaranteed to bestow to all), then marriage is definitely worth it.
If you and your man are mature – and humble – enough, you will learn that marriage will offer you a lifetime of companionship. This does not mean loneliness is always absent in marriage; on the contrary, even two persons whose personalities match superbly and who by wiring and effort empathize and understand with each other very well will nonetheless encounter moments when the spouse simply cannot understand one’s struggles or pains. And at times, the tidings of life – aging, the death of friendships, moving, disease, the passing of parents, etc – will exert pressures that the mere presence of a loving spouse by itself will not sate.
If you and your man want to start a family, you will learn that there is no prose or poetry sufficient to describe the sensation one feels when a newborn emerges from the womb, crying and helpless. The sheer wave of unconditional love and tenderness you will both feel when you first behold your firstborn will bind you to that child for life, even if dirty diapers, temper tantrums, scoldings, bad grades, and rebellious moments compel you to violently empty your scalp’s follicles.
But most importantly, if you and your man marry and work it out, you will have somebody with whom to grow old. The clock stops for nobody. I have, again and again, in person or through photographs, been sobered at how people of my generation and older look now that they have aged. The fresh-faced, beautiful, sexy girl from high school. The woman who was my girlfriend in her mid-late 20s. The dapper middle-aged man I looked up to, today with silver hair and many wrinkles. At 30, you’re still quite a while away from experiencing the effects of middle age – but middle age, then the beyond, will arrive. And while admittedly some people are truly best off alone, it is not pleasant to be alone when older, after your parents have both moved on from this life, after so very many if not almost all of those whom you granted the rubric of “friend” in your 20s, 30s, and 40s are (and have been) out of your life for years if not at least more than 1 decade. And if they are parents or grandparents, the less likely they will reach out to you.
And don’t forget that this “next generation” views sex as cheaper than ever, with Tinder and other apps. No one is advocating lifelong chastity barring religious/spiritual convictions, but in marriage, sex is guilt-free and you need not worry about contracting a pathogen which if not necessarily guaranteed to kill you, is sure to bring you physical and emotional anguish. More than we think is the case, tons of those from the “next generation” thought nothing of intimacy only to face horrifying physical consequences, among which some cannot be cured by science. If your man is clean, you will never experience this in marriage, assuming both of you are wise enough to remain faithful for life – which is by definition a characteristic of marriage.
Choose well. Decisions will matter now and down the road.
Are you going to have kids? Then get married, because anything else will ultimately be regarded as a betrayal by your children.
How are your finances? That will affect the tax consequences of marriage..Does one partner have a lot of debt? That could be a problem too…
I was married once. Will never do it again. When my ex went for the divorce, it wiped out my finances. Things are better now, but the family court system is too unfair for me to risk that again.
Just to give you an idea of how some other men feel about it. I know a male neurosurgeon who paid a fertility clinic to make him a baby. He paid 180k for her. He is the sole legal parent and never has to worry about child support or having his child kept from him.
I know a male neurosurgeon who paid a fertility clinic to make him a baby.
Yobe’s a baby. I wonder how much he paid?
It’s the old, Call me a taxi joke, ya maroons. Sheesh! Now I have to ‘splain my jokes.
Why you did not “help” him working with her mothe-not-mother wife?
Neither Mary was note sole mother of Jesus Christ!!!
Oh, what insane times we came to live!?!?!
I got married because I am committed to building a better society. Without the help of my wife, my children would have a much harder time, impossible I think, becoming healthy, happy, and productive members of that society. To be very frank, I did not have the skills and experience to grow new children, even though I am,and was, a professional manager. So from a practical perspective, my wife is responsible for the overall well-being of our kids and herself. I’m responsible for the overall well-being of the family: kids, her, and myself. While I’ve targeted kids, this is an example of a principle I hold: be part of something bigger than yourself.
Could I adhere to my principle without being married? Sure, and many single people are part of big initiatives. But because my children will be able to accomplish much greater things than I have, I made a commitment to my wife and the society around us; that’s formalized and traditional; instilled with history, culture, and religion; so we would have a common reminder that we’re contributing to something bigger than all of the individual parts combined. This commitment is how society invests in it’s own future.
Thanks to many of the other commenters, they are saying the same thing in different words.
Finally, it’s ridiculous that government has inserted itself into marriage. This is another example of a public institution trying to legislate morality. It causes confusion because many are left wondering is it legalism or is it the law?
The author of the question is living in sin and should be stoned to death.
It’s in the Bible.
I hope this helps.
PS: I am without sin … so, don’t bring that up.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
Blow me.
I don’t cut anybody any slack, not even T4C and she’s hot.
that sounds sinful , wouldn’t want that now would you?
This is why Catholicism offers the sacrament of Reconciliation, aka confession. Confess your sin, genuinely desire to sin no more, pray for strength, and get on with life.
As for advice to the woman in question, if the guy doesn’t want to marry you, he either doesn’t value you or is hoping something better comes along. How do I know? Been there, done that.
If I recall my Scripture correctly, Jesus himself prevented the crowd from stoning a prostitute. There is no such thing as a man without sin, be he a believer or not. Particularly one who advocates the death of an individual for another sin. Just saying.
“There is no such thing as a man without sin, …. Just saying.”
But, there are people who don’t understand sarcasm. Just saying.
We all know that:
Without government, we can’t have marriage.
Without government, we can’t have love.
Without government, we can’t have children.
Without government, we can’t have roads.
Without government, we can’t have self defense.
Etc, etc, etc. We all know the drill.
Without government, we can’t even have food! Oops …
Pay no attention to those Soviet collective farms and their terror famines!
The Men Pretending To Be A Government have weaponized all those for their own benefit and profit.
A few of my friends privately married, without the “benefit” of church and state, and have eschewed their “benefits”. Perhaps the man in the above quote is terrified of DivorceCorp. We ALL should be. The insane weaponization of feminist ideology into the courts is a disaster for all men – yea even civilization itself – and will deprive the next generation of women of the love and companionship they need, so much more than the men. Perhaps that was feminism’s purpose? Insane ideology cannot survive happy people. And they need misery to build their WCCE – the World Corporate Communist Empire.
https://www.youtube.com/user/divorcecorp
Is it worth the trouble of reaching out to the government for approval of being together and roping assets together?
Marriage should not be a legal institution in the first place. That’s the argument you should be having. If legalized marriage didn’t exist would you invent it?
Would you go “Baby! This shit we got together, it’s so good, we gotta get the government in on this shit!! We can’t just share this commitment between us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit.”?
Good luck trying to explain to the kids that dad won’t get married because he’s upholding some libertarian ideal and not because he wants to be free to get a new girlfriend.
That’s a lame comment. Not getting married does not mean playing the field.
It’s just fashionable to hook up and have kids. It’s stupid also. Your kids end up being bastards. It may also be a rebellion against gay marriage, as if to say, only gays get married.
Even today, after all the changes in norms, not getting married when you have kids isn’t just not getting married. It’s an ACT of remaining unmarried – one that speaks volumes.
Getting married among other things is like saying a pledge. Try to convince me NFL players love and are committed to our country.
How many who have commented here are or have been divorced?
I agree with Stucky . Get married or get stoned. It’s in the Bible.
Now that’s funny!
Divorce is a drag, especially because it can come about through no fault of your own, can be extremely unfair regarding custody of kids and can wipe you out financially. If you’re looking at having kids, though, is raising them as bastards the best way to start off? Blacks would say yes, Asians no. Who’s right, judging by visible outcomes?
You don’t think culture and IQ have anything to do with it?Nooo, it’s the magic paper.
Yes, stupid people with shitty culture make lots of stupid, life-affecting choices, like having kids without getting married. Including low class whites.
You made it sound like it is because of the magic paper.
How many who have commented here are or have been divorced?
————
Check. She became a drug addict and I settled for $500. She had already hocked her diamond wedding ring. No kids, thank God.
I’ve been divorced. Wife walked away with millions, all hers. I got zip and asked for zip. Didn’t want her dirty money.
2nd wife was from El Salvador- best wife ever. Gave me a hummer when her water broke.
BEST WIFE EVER.
We got married just because I want to make sure she can have easy access to my money if I have another chainsaw/boating/boar wrestling accident.
Two American women divorced me so they could make a haul and run around; I would never marry another American woman, period; both women demanded I marry them and then they both became sluts; the first wife robbed me “blind” thanks to the leftist Courts. Years later, a good friend who’s a Doctor talked me into marrying a Pinay he knew and he was so right; all the pain was worth it have wound up with her.
I will first say the the majority of the prior posts are excellent. Gives me hope that mankind is still good.
My wife and I have been married for 23 years, and by comparison to our peers, we have a great marriage.
The majority of our peers (early 50’s) have divorced, within the past 10 years, and more to come. We live by certain creeds as follows.
We know a good marriage is hard work. But we also know that nothing good in life is easy.
As others have mentioned, you must become one. But not by making your spouse into your vision.
Communication is a key. If an ‘issue’ comes up it must be dealt with now, or it festers, by human nature, to become something worse.
Each spouse must remain themselves with their own passions/hobbies. No telling the other ‘you can’t do this or that’. We saw many wives telling their husbands ‘you have to stop doing x, because’. Never works.
Enjoying or getting involved in each others passions/hobbies is a great thing.
If kids, hopefully, the majority of women then say ‘the kids are the most important thing’. No, the spouse is the most important. Raise the kids allowing them to see both man and woman point of view. Hard to do.
Low self-esteem is a cancer. Don’t know how to fix it.
Spouse time alone, dinner, whatever, a priority, at least once a week, especially when the kids come.
There are many reasons why a marriage can’t work, many justified. Hopefully you can both vet each other first. Again, hard to do.
Much more, but my brain is fried today. Best of luck.
You said a lot. Who knew peeps in NJ were that smart?
If you are asking the question then it matters and you should be married.
And yet, you ask the question.
How come nobody married ever asks about divorcing and staying together for all the great benefits you claim? See it?
Depending on the state you live in, you and your other may be considered “common law” man/wife (unless you are gay/lesbian–geez, maybe even those are so considered now). So financially, there could be implications of shared assets whether formally married or not.
Just something to consider…YMMV on the length of cohabitation by state.
To thine own self be true.
I can’t kid God and can only kid myself at my own peril.
Shakkin up is Shakkin up. Their ain’t no such thing as a “Relationship” in that sense of the word.
I tried shacking up and felt so dishonest I couldn’t continue it and neither could she. I eventually married and then understood a little better why it was a good thing. The most important was that there were many trying times where I would have done like the song said. “Just hop on a bus Guss, no need to discuss much”.
If I were a young guy with a dream I would do like RHS Jr. did. Look over seas for a wife where they understand what it means a little better. Philippines, Russia, the Middle East just to name some. Getting them to marry me would be the hard part. I wouldn’t date anyone who would date me.
Got married almost 40 years ago and have never looked back or thought about doing anything different. We built a life together, a family together, a household together and a future together. We have enjoyed all the good times and suffered the bad times together. Health issues, family problems, death of parents, marriage of children, births of grandchildren, travel, holidays, celebrations, basically we have shared all of life’s moments together. And it seems like it has all had more meaning with the bond of marriage than it would have had otherwise.
It is one thing to commit to each other to get married but it is quite another to follow through and make it work and endure. There is no magic secret to making marriage work, you figure it out along the way and therein lies the reward. At the end of the day you have either found the right partner to take the journey with all the way or you haven’t.
If you have found the right person you know it in your bones. If you have to analyze the options and pros and cons of marriage then you should probably move on.
Best of luck.
“I am a woman, around the age of 30. I have been in a happy relationship for eight years now. I have always been of the opinion that marriage is a worthy institution and something that is a commitment and oath of solidarity. My boyfriend does not feel the same.
We are happy together. We trust each other. We love each other. We know each other incredibly well, and we keep each other sane in a crazy world.”
This^ tells me everything about you. The nuclear family is the foundation that a sane society is built upon. If you are 100% sure that you will never get pregnant with his child/children, then do what ever makes you happy. If you want children then marry. You are old enough to have seen what fractured families does to kids. Some handle it better than others but the chances for them to be well adjusted, successful adults has been shown in study after study to much higher in stable two parent families.
There are many reasons why you should get married that have already been listed in previous comments. You don’t say why he feels the opposite that you do. So we are left to guess. You don’t need the sanction of the government. But a lifetime commitment should not be easy to walk away from when times get tough. I know of couples who have been married by a minister but without the benefit of a marriage license. Their commitment under God is more binding for them than any stupid piece of paper. Speaking for myself, when times get tough, I have to run to God to help me keep from wanting to walk away. Those times are rare but they do happen once in a great while. It is extremely hard to avoid times like that, the longer you are married.
Living together for 8 years before getting married is no guarantee of success, either. In fact there have been some studies that have shown it is actually detrimental. Everything changes when you get married.
The bigger question is how to stay married once you have decided that is what you should do. It is not easy, no matter how happy you are most of the time. Marriage has been cheapened to the point that it is almost meaningless so I get why you are confused and unsure. Women never asked questions like that in times past. The cultural Marxists want women to depend on the state. It gives them more power. In a way, marriage has almost become counter-cultural, at least the kind that endure and both people are still happy with each other after 50 years.
It is a terrible thing to be old and alone. Marriage and children don’t guarantee that you won’t end up that way but a lifetime of solitude most certainly does. I have an 80 year old uncle(my husband’s uncle) who is a lifetime bachelor. After a Dear John letter he received while in the army he was never able to find anyone else to marry. He is now dependent on his sister who is only about 5 years younger and my husband to help him out when he needs it. She is not in the best of health so that leaves us. What if he didn’t have a dedicated nephew to help him?
How did we ever get in this mess? It’s a fine mess, isn’t it? I wrote an essay about it last spring if you are interested. Maybe I need to write a follow up.
Why marry the cow if you get free milk?
We live in a highly feminized gynocentric society. Add to that a strong entitlement mentality with women today and you have a recipe for men to be taken advantage of in the court system. This includes alimony laws, child custody laws and child support laws. All of this to the benefit of women. With the rampant feminization of women you now have decades of men seen by women as having little to no importance as a husband, father, or provider in society. These traditional male roles have been taken away over the last fifty years with horrible consequences. Throw in social media today which empowers women to feel entitled to their hypergamous desires with little regard to their marriage vows. All of this leads to marriage being a horrible deal for men.
Got married 32 years ago because I love and respect my wife, actually never met a woman who is as kind, respectful, and loving. I wanted to provide for her and she for me. Life is hard and confusing at times but it sure is easier with a loving wife.
Best advise I can offer is Ephesians 5:20-33 in a King James Bible but you don’t indicate whether or not you are a Christian. As to the legal benefits I differ to others. I am married 30 years and never had to “go there”. My daughter was married two Sundays ago. I had a dear friend officiate. At the ceremonies conclusion he did not say “by the power vested in my by the state of Texas…” even though the state legally recognizes them as man and wife. Christian marriage is a picture of the relationship Christ has with the church, His body; two become one (note, we are NOT the bride – Rev 21:1-11). Worldly marriage is a (hopefully loving) legal agreement.
If you are Christian, I wrote this about a year ago and it may help to answer some of your questions…
At the end of the day, all the two of you can do is the best you can. It’s all anyone can do. We are sin cursed people living in a sin cursed world surrounded by other sin cursed people. Fortunately, Christ died for our sin. Gods Word can help a great deal with life in general and personal relationships in particular. It is essential to eternal life. I advise to study Romans 3-8 very carefully. If you are committed to one another, you are committed to one another. Make it work, state sanctioned or not; that’s what commitment is. If you’re Christians, the two of you spiritually become one new person. There is great strength there. If your not committed to one another, be careful. “They” say, contracts are made to be broken… Technically (Biblically) sex is the marriage union. Two (male/female) become one physically thus sealing the loving bond of commitment. It is otherwise known as fornication. (Yea, the vast majority of us are guilty.)
I would be interested to know if any of these comments have been helpful.
Mary C…
Went back and read your article what women want again. it was even better the second time, so were all the comments. Staying married really is the key. getting married is the easy part.
Oh, thanks, Flea. I’m recovering from anesthesia. Had some more reconstruction last Monday. It always makes my mind fuzzy for a while.
The lurkers will never tell. They are like shadows in the darkness.
I found many of the comments here very interesting. Does that count?
I am nosy by nature and I would like to know if anything helped the woman who sent the email to admin.
They have indeed given me much to think about. I tend to muse and brood by nature, so I will take a while processing everything everyone has said I would like to thank you in particular, Mary Christine. I feel out of all the replies you understood what I was truly asking, and I found your feedback incredibly valuable. Thank you! (Not to disregard the other commenters at all–I have appreciated everyone’s thoughts.)
“(Not to disregard the other commenters at all–I have appreciated everyone’s thoughts.)”
Did you appreciate my thoughts? You should … only I told you the truth!
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I did indeed appreciate your thoughts. But I find it very sad that you have such a limited understanding of the Christian faith. I would advise you go back to Sunday school and study the Bible a bit more, dear Stucky. all the best.
Thank you for your kind words.
I’ll try harder to git smarter. When I was younger, I did memorize the entire book of Hezekiah. But, that was a long time ago. It probably changed a lot since them.
I DO know that Jeebus forgives ALL sins! So, you are safe whoring around as long as you ask forgiveness … as long as you ask every single night. One slip up and your ass is going to BURN! (That’s in the Bible too.)
Peace & Blessings
Oh for crying out loud, Stucky. I think you should have gone into counseling. Counseling all of us Catholics who left the Church.
As my grandfather told his brother fity years ago: “get your ass back in the Church or they are going to bury you like a GD stick.”
I hope Woman realizes the TBP big dogs don’t take criticism, lecturing or even ADVICE well.
Ah yes! I so remember Hezekiah from the Apocrypha, between the books of your namesakes: Schmuck and Yentl.
Yes! Good for you Woman!
Fuck me…..you need a @2 x 4 to the head…have you asked for forgiveness for that yet?, you big Austrian lummox?
Amazing that someone behaving contrary to the teachings in the Bible then goes on to lecture someone about having limited understanding of Christianity. Hypocrite much?
And she said Stuck has a limited understanding of such!
Happy this helped. Myers Briggs test said I should have gone into counseling. Or archeology ?
I wholeheartedly agree! Thank you again ?
It was a.n interesting discussion for many reasons, Woman. Mostly because it brought some perspectives we don’t see often
I did not say to wait for compensation…
I pray the Lord to help her and him as well!
I suspect people that ask this question are incapable of understanding the answer.
I suspect people that have this belief have very little mercy in their souls. Again…all the best.
Blow me. All the best.
According to Yobe, women already don’t like me. I wonder if da wimmen likes me.
You only need one who does. Seems you have that covered just fine. Want to be loved more than that? Get a dog.
Ignore them. They will yap like a pack of unruly dogs.
The Woman…
So, You set us up with this dear Abby question just so you could insult us mean ole men.
When you get done Blowing Llouey’s 2 foot Indian dong you can blow me too.
Piss off.
On the contrary. I want to know the thoughts of the group. However, I think calling for my death is uncalled for. Similarly, if you claim to be Christians, I think you have missed the entire point of the Bible if you forsake mercy and forgiveness and call for stoning someone.
Woman…
Beebs didn’t want you stoned to death. He’s a nice guy, he was trying to get a point across.
You already knew the answer to your question.
This place is a rowdy bar on payday and bottles and chairs fly all night and we just got through 3 months of SJW’s telling us what and how we can talk and it ain’t Facebook or city data where some bleeding heart moderator will protect you from us. We say what we say and apologize later if we feel bad about it but don’t hold your breath.
Maybe she hasn’t lurked long enough to notice the “rowdy bar on payday” comments that go on and on sometimes. I’m used to it. She is getting the “sink or swim” treatment.
If you want to grow a thick skin, which is always needed for a marriage to be successful, this is certainly the place to do it..lol!
Please return to your regularly scheduled bottle and chair throwing.
Lady, with all this continuous talk of blow jobs in these comments I believe this whole thing has gone awry.
Nah, it always comes down to “blow me” after everything else has been said.
Silly me, I read Village Idiot’s comment completely differently.
I thought he was advocating smoking some mary jane in lieu of getting married.
In any case, I wouldn’t take a freeloading cat-fucker too seriously.
Probably a flea-bitten schlong.
(chortles)
“…all the best.”
This is the same as that asshole that always ends with: “Blessings :-)”
In other words: “I’m better than you, so fuck off.”
Note my comment about big dogs here above.
Been at it 37 years now; expect it to continue until one / both of us croaks.
If you worry that the other person will steal your assets if divorced why would you marry them?
Be aware that life has no constraints: you or your partner might get sick, even cancer, have family problems, suffer unemployment, low income, legal problems, social opprobrium, all kinds of stupidity and more; will you love them, always, no matter what?
Can you stand to hear the doctors say, “I have no idea why she’s still breathing” and still hold on to get to the other side?
Can you watch them suffer, bleed, have emotional torment and distress, be betrayed, be depressed and still hold on?
You get married (I think) because you have found someone that’s compatible; either you believe in the same things or you agree to disagree on certain ones. You find common ground and room to reconcile, again and again, because people change with age and experience and none of us are the same person we were when we got married.
YES, for the children, present or anticipated; YES, for love, from the bottom of the heart to the soles of the feet to the top of the head to the root of your soul; YES.
But only if you can handle it; take some punishment both for and from your beloved, because it WILL come. The days you wonder “How can he/she be so stupid? Can’t he/she SEE that they’re wrong here? WHAT am I going to do with you?” and STILL hold on.
Because tomorrow is another day; and you will find another reason to love them.
Government is irrelevant, taxes are irrelevant, money is irrelevant and social status is irrelevant; because at the end of the day, it is THAT PERSON you will eat with, share your day with, clean up with and sleep with. Not their government, not their taxes, not their wealth, their social status or their accomplishments. THEM, and them only. All the rest is irrelevant.
Because you love them, want to hold them forever, keep the world at bay for them and love and protect them, now and forever.
Any other reason to get married is irrelevant. Learn who you are, what you are capable of and why you’re here. All by being married to the one who wants to marry you.
And if you cannot, with all your heart, say those words to that person: be silent. And consider who you are, and why you are with them. And choose to become closer, or more distant. But KNOW the truth, about life, yourself and them. Lying to yourself will not, cannot work.
And once you KNOW, act.
All very true, James.
“The days you wonder “How can he/she be so stupid? Can’t he/she SEE that they’re wrong here? WHAT am I going to do with you?” and STILL hold on.
Because tomorrow is another day; and you will find another reason to love them.
Government is irrelevant, taxes are irrelevant, money is irrelevant and social status is irrelevant; because at the end of the day, it is THAT PERSON you will eat with, share your day with, clean up with and sleep with. Not their government, not their taxes, not their wealth, their social status or their accomplishments. THEM, and them only. All the rest is irrelevant.
Because you love them, want to hold them forever, keep the world at bay for them and love and protect them, now and forever.”
Absolutely.
And be able to put up with it when they squeeze the toothpaste tube wrong, fold the towels wrong, forget to put the toilet seat down, and a million other little annoying things that will make you crazy but you still love them.
“And be able to put up with it when they squeeze the toothpaste tube wrong, fold the towels wrong, forget to put the toilet seat down, and a million other little annoying things that will make you crazy but you still love them.”
Have you been spying on me? I swear, that is too accurate to be a guess …!
You can have a formal or informal commitment and/or contract with each other without getting officially married by and for the government. The fact that marriage is a government contract controlled by government rules is a big reason Hubby and I have been together for 22 years without getting “married”. We have found workarounds for many of the issues with not having a government sanctioned contract including things like medical power of atty and putting our joint property in a trust. We will be together “til death do us part”, just without the government force. Works for us, but you have to do what’s right for you. If we had kids and/or one of us was totally dependent financially on the other it might be different.
Mgtow
AKA Costco-sized packs of Lubriderm and Kleenex.
Because loving each other is selfish passion, not really one.
Because both of you – the biological parents – loving the child your selfish loves convert you from selfish to blessed altruist.
This transform the passion between parents in highest respect, admiration and help … to the [other] parent of your most loved human being !
… Because the mistery of the blessed union creates a new being = the holy marriage.
This new being is authorizing the new born to be the godly live bearer.
If just two talking and narcisistic animals mate, followed by giving birth of a new born, … this is coming in the earthly, bodily life under the influences of the lack of wish to live and later, the worst one – the tendency toward rebellion against the natural laws.
Of course, the child has a chance to repair (by own conscience godly inspired in his depth of the heart) what the biological parents have made dirty, impure, de-sacralized – the relation with the Creator by living against His recommended way.
Whatever you like to believe, does not change this; the belief is the science of the heart, of the conscience not the accountability of things and facts.
Therefore, the question for each of you – do you care if there is or is not the life after body stops working (“dies”)?
We know there are not 100% confirmation but this is because somebody else decides and helps or lets things happen.
Again, ask yourselves – do you care if you are not the all-mighty boss of your life, here?
The secular Government does not let you go to unite in the blesse, holy ceremony except ypu go first to register the union in a materialistic only way.
So, you cannot unite the souls without registering the union of the “persons” as living things, government “unites” kind of talking animals.
Who wants to marry should never, ever think of divorce – you do not go sailing a long trip thinking that your ship will be sunk by your interaction.
As I previously said – the holy union is creating a new being – this is the reason that there is issued ONE certificate, as for any individual born being (human) or made (corporation).
Thinking of divorce is thinking to kill your born being – the holy union.
If you do not get the blessing and think about “just Government” marriage…. does not matter if is a business (pre-nuptial agreement) or sexual partnership – is spiritually dirty and brings weird, idiotic, insane ideas and wishes…
Pre-nuptial agreement is basically the rejection of the union, a temporary (nightly, monthly, yearly…) practice of sex compensated during that time by material advantages… defines the material benefit of doing sex… legal prostitution.
Do not caree the statistics – your life is unique, not a servant of the Statistics.
Do care to “give” to the other, especially from the man to the woman (not talking about degenerate practices) who must see her as the reason of his life and later, the human creator of his child as his life succession, to the Ages!
Who kills the holy union (… the marriage) is disguising suicidal attitude – killing own life succession and his family, and his people, and his nation…. because the future is nothing or some always sad and rebel and ill and evil and weak and…. offsprings…
Maybe this essay will give some ideas….
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/World/WOR-02-170114.html
We are all living Pasolini’s Theorem
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If your “friend” does not agree, he is the real most evil enemy of your life.
Such (too many men) are coward, weak, delusional, unsure and unsafe for your future.
They takes your love of life for their passion and they are too shameless to say or show it.
Get rid of such person – hopefully will prove the contrary to you – and run as far as possible, at least from the bed and with your heart.
So bad, the last decades, the woman is suicidally thinking sex is just… sex and they’re free to do whatever… do not think ” a child means a lot of money”! Is no price for what life means and a woman is not a farmed subject of goods production!
Getting older and finding that the real being a woman is needs love and family and children to pour love and dedicate the life for he life…. these findings either comes too late or never due to ilnesses, premature deaths or suicide…
Think from your heart, not from the papers, movies, music, psychologists, school/[neo-bolsheviks =] universities, … these are destroying the conscience.
This from your heart and you’ll find that there’s no other way in order eveything, absolutely everything to fit in the design of happiness.