Guest Post by Darius Foroux
I want to ask you a question. How many hours per day do you think?
“I never thought about that.” So let me get this straight. You’re thinking all the time, and yet, you never think about how much time you spend thinking.
That sounds like an addiction to me. I know, because I’m addicted to thinking too.
- When I eat too much, I can say “I’m overeating. I need to eat less.”
- When I work too much, I can say “I’m getting burned out. I need to stop working.”
- When I drink too much, I can say “I need to stop. I need a bottle of water.”
But when I think too much, I can’t just say “I’m overthinking.” I need a different approach to unclog my brain.
But the problem is that we don’t consider overthinking as a problem.
When someone says that overthinking is bad, we often assume that only negative thoughts are wrong. And by that definition, it automatically means that positive thoughts are good.
That’s the thinking error that I’ve made in the past. And I’ll tell you why it’s a mistake to assume positive thoughts are good.
But first, let’s talk about the difference between positive thoughts and negative thoughts.
Positive Thoughts vs. Negative Thoughts
I think most of us agree that negative thoughts are related to:
- Worrying
- Complaining
- Anger
- Feeling sorry for yourself
- Blaming others
Similarly, we can agree that the following thoughts are considered positive:
- Trying to solve problems
- Studying
- Understanding knowledge
- Planning
- Visualization
- Setting goals
What most self-help advice says is, scrap the negative thoughts and double down on the positive thoughts. When you think about it casually, it sounds like good advice.
After all, negative thoughts make our lives worse. And positive thoughts should make our lives better, right?
I wish that were the case. However, the truth is that when you overuse your brain, just like a drain, it can get clogged. The result? Foggy thinking. Which leads to bad decision making.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
Sure, you become whatever you think about. No one said it better than Marcus Aurelius in Meditations:
“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Our life situation is shaped by the quality of our thoughts. I believe in that. However, most of us assume that we are our thoughts.
We say: “Well, I can’t help but think these things. That’s just me.”
No, that’s NOT you. You can decide what thoughts to ignore in your mind. I like how Eckhart Tolle puts it in The Power Of Now:
“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity—the thinker.”
The only way to stop identifying yourself with your thoughts is to stop following through on all your thoughts.
Instead, decide to live in the present moment—where you don’t have time to think, only to experience.
How Do You Live In The Present Moment?
Thinking is a tool. And instead of using that tool during the 16 or 17 hours that you’re awake, only use it when you NEED it.
But how do you do that? Here’s the 4 step process I’ve used to stop overthinking.
- Raise your awareness throughout the day.
Always realize that too much thinking defeats the purpose. - When you raise awareness, immediately start observing your thoughts.
Every time you start thinking, don’t follow through, just observe how you start thinking. When you do that, you will automatically stop. - Only limit your thinking to specific moments that you need it.
For example, when you’re thinking about setting your daily priorities, sit down and think. That might take 5 minutes. During that time, it’s perfectly fine to think and follow through on your thoughts. Or, when you’re journaling, you’re also thinking during the process. That’s also fine. We’re trying to stop the constant thinking. We don’t want to become a monk. - Enjoy your life!
Let go of all your thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow. No matter how much you want to achieve in the future, and no matter how much you’ve suffered in the past—appreciate that you are alive: NOW.
Look, you don’t need me to tell you how awesome it is to be alive. By the way, I’m not going to sit here and tell you to “enjoy doing the dishes.”
That’s not my style. I just can’t fool myself like that. I enjoy the present moment in a different way.
I let go of every thought in my mind. While I’m doing something I don’t really like (doing the dishes), I don’t think at all. I just do it without judgment.
But when I’m doing something I actually like (no matter how small or big), I genuinely enjoy it. Listening to music, watching a movie, or spending time with my family, friends, or girlfriend—I’m in the moment.
I don’t think about my goals, failures, or things I have to do tomorrow.
I’m just here. Right now. At this very moment. Just like the moment that you’re taking to read these words. When it’s gone, it’s gone forever.
Realize that on a deeper level, and you’ll never even dare to leave the present.
Are you with me?
Oh wait, don’t answer that question—DO.
My son and I were just discussing the overthinking business.
Get out of it.
Playing the piano requires no thinking after you’ve learned how.
How do you make the one hand do one thing while the other does something else. Well, you can’t… you have to learn what each hand is to do, then NOT THINK about it while you play.
Is true of other instruments, I believe. Played clarinet onceuponalongtimeago.
Well,live like a dog,they are very into the moment,a dog will sleep/eat/fight/fuck/play at the drop of a hat.
I find when I stop thinking I usually do something dumb and/or get into trouble.
Well, stopping “overthinking” can be as informative to one’s thought processes as stopping “underthinking” can be.
Get out of the “overthinking” business and learn how to select your mind battles carefully.
Whoa! play music and not think? I don’t “think” so HA! There is so much going on when playing that massive thought is required. You are right that patterning does make is seem easier but it is all still there and working hard, are you in time, are you in tune, if there is conductor involved more to focus upon. I would like this to flying an instrument approach in an aircraft, altitude, time, airspeed, attitude, (of aircraft) heading, it is called a cross check and never ceases unless…. no, sorry same deal in playing. Single note instruments come with lesser loads, guitar for example, are all the strings staying in tune. On and on. Reading music then adds turning the page…… what a goat rope! There is so much to this concept that it becomes mind numbing. One of the key elements, consciousness and that takes us to the really big race- WAAAAAYYY to much for here. Enjoyed the visit Cheers!
I did not say playing music does not require thinking. If you read it that way, it was not what was meant.
I said it doesn’t require thinking once you’ve learned how to make your hands do what they need to do.
In my opinion, it requires focus and not thinking. Reading music is not thinking; it is transmitting data to your hands. Knowing when to turn a page is also automatic.
That’s my opinion as a lifelong piano lover with some basic skill and talent for playing certain types of musc. I even asked for a Baldwin Classic in lieu of an engagement ring and I still have both the piano and husband 26 years later.
So, yes, music involves a lot of thinking. But not when it is being played.
The first five listed as ‘negative thoughts’ don’t happen when one is thinking; they happen when one is emoting. Too many people confuse the latter with the former – which is why most people have few thoughts outside of ‘I need to take a shit’, ‘what will I have for my next meal?’, and ‘will I get laid tonight?’.
Semperque populus.
true
indeed, they even have pills for the first 5 “negatives”
and these pills will neuter your brain, turning you into the ultimate consumer of pop culture, junk food, and all sorts of MSM approved activities (they turn you into a member of the FSA)