Gillette Now Including Free Manly Side Bag With Every Purchase

Via The Babylon Bee

BOSTON, MA—As part of its new ad campaign designed to target a new, more sensitive American male, Gillette announced Tuesday that the company will be giving out a free manly pink side bag with every purchase while supplies last.

The bag will reportedly contain a copy of The Feminine Mystique and instructions on how to treat any toxic masculinity you may have come down with. To get the free bag, you must spend at least $20 on a Gillette razor or other hygienic product and mail in your man card to the company.

“We want to appeal to the modern man,” Gillette spokesperson Beau Petite said. “So we’re offering this extremely manly, attractive side bag for a limited time if you buy one of our really manly razor products.” Petite said the side bags have many great uses. “You can store a little concealer or blush for an afternoon touch-up, your coin purse, a pair of spherical objects. Whatever you want.”

Gillette’s promotion reportedly launched with a whimper, as few men wanted the “manly side bags” for some reason. The company has said it is regrouping and considering offering a free man bun hair tie with every purchase instead.

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starfcker
starfcker

“a pair of spherical objects.” That’s deep, eh Ben? I spit my drink out on that one

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

Any guy who looks at a T4C grade (AAA) ass and complains about how flatly she lays on the bed should mail in his man card immediately. This handbag won’t last, Beavis.

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

Marlboro Man replaced by Macho Ma’am.
Rough Riders replaced by Rump Riders

Old Shoe

Rump Riders In The Sky. One of my favorite cowboy songs.

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs

Macho ma’am and Rump Riders??
That’s good stuff El.

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

T4C said I was losing my edge. Aw hell no!

Resigned 2 It
Resigned 2 It

The article doesn’t specify, but I’m sure the bag is constructed with genuine, rich Corinthian leather. A small compact case, The Midget, is also available for those whose fantasy revolves around a multinational corporation supplying a wise Negro to wag a finger at their Wrong -Think at birthday parties and bat mitzvahs.

Thanks Gillette!

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

What’s a bat mitzvah?

anarchyst
anarchyst

A “bat mitzvah is a jewish female “rite of ascension” to adulthood…the male version is a “bar mitzvah…no, I’m not jewish, just informed…

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

Thanks! Strange that you have to apologize for being informed.

Pequiste
Pequiste

As long as it has enough room to hold an extra “Depends” TM undergarment, all the Metro-bois will consider it a must-have accessory.

Suds
Suds

I humorously submit that if a man hasn’t shit his pants at least once in his life, he is either:
A. A very young, inexperienced man;
B. Eats like a little birdie; very little; or
C. Has exceptionally strong control of bodily functions, after consuming too much of any edible, fat laden meat products and drinkable alcoholic products in combinations large, then later exerting masculine energy (hard work) without the benefit of having a relief facility in close proximity.
“Gotta drop a load of freight that just can’t wait” …comes to mind.
Not an enjoyable experience, but not at all uncommon, either, if truths be told.
Hell, we all did it when we were 9 months old.
When we’re 90 years old, well, that’s the circle of life, Pops.

Old Shoe

The saddest aspect to this fustercluck is the woman Gehrig who dreamt this up will keep her job. They won’t terminate her for fear of PC backlash. This nation is so effed up I don’t even recognize it.

Bob McDoanld
Bob McDoanld

This is a bit much even for a Metrosexual City like Boston

Ned
Ned

comment image

We are screwed
We are screwed

I am still waiting on Gillette to make a commercial regarding boys will be boys with the following points. Seems only “Western Men” have toxic masculinity. Their head of marketing is a Muslim, that the screwed up part. Non western men:

1) their religion requires them to kill others that are infidels
2) requires their women wear burqas
3) forces little girls to have their genitals mutilated
4) makes their women be subservient to all men
5) doesnt allow women to drive
6) kill their women if they leave their religion
7) form rape gangs in host countries that are providing them a way out of poverty and the 11th century
8) rape their wives because their imam allows it
9) use little boys as pedo boy toys u til they are 11
10) i could jeep going but you know those damn western men just need to be more soy boy skinny jean wearing to rein in their masculinity.

Dollar shave club is for real men. Buh bye for life Gillette (proctor and gamble). Sell your stock and boycott all products and send them an email! Make them deliver a commercial hitting on the above topic!

Anonymous
Anonymous

AGREED!! We’re NOT stronger with ‘diversity’, as these lib-tards try to jam all the PC crap down our throats! WE MUST RESIST THIS BS – HOW: 1) VOTE WITH YOUR DOLLARS – BOYCOTT THESE IDIOTS’ PRODUCTS: GILLETTE, NFL AND nba (THUG BASKETBALL LEAGUE), STARBUCKS, ANY P&G CRAP, TARGET,TECH GIANTS – GET OFF GMAIL, TWITTER & FACEBOOK, 2) SUPPORT CHRISTIAN AND FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT – ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE KIDS, STICK IT TO THE HOLLYWOOD CRAP, 3) GET INVOLVED AT THE LOCAL LEVEL – POLICY AND EDUCATION. FIGHT THESE SOCIAL – MARXIST BASTARDS. THIS IS REAL – ITS A WAR FOR OUR VALUES AND WESTERN CIVILIZATION…

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs

I’ll take mine in lavender. Pink is just ssooo over with like. What are those cylinder thingies he’s talking about? Would that be like a portable boyfriend?

Hollywood Rob

No. It’s your balls Flea.

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs

Oh.. I thought they meant dildos.

Zombiedawg
Zombiedawg

Note too that they are rebranding.
They will be called Jillette.
The razor for a man who’s more woman than man…
Try Wilkinson Sword instead.
For the man that still has “a pair”

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs

In keeping with the topic of manliness. Gizmodo just posted an article about a man who injected semen into his arm to cure back pain monthly for 18 months. When hospitalized after a bad reaction, the doctors diagnosed it as
“Semenly Harmless back pain.

EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)

Considering the hard lump he got at the injection site, he could have injected it into his Komodo dragon. Stucky would have to use a basting syringe to get all the juices. Anybody recall the time he submitted a urine cup full of the stuff? The nurse looked at the milky substance and said he needed to get a gf.

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