MEXICO CITY—Trump recently announced new tariffs against Mexican products. Mexico was quick to retaliate by declaring a 50% increase in the spiciness of hot sauce shipped to the United States.
The measure is designed to get back at Trump for his trade war by burning the mouths of all the white people in the US. The country gets much of its salsa and hot sauce from Mexico, but a previous trade agreement had limited the spiciness of the hot sauce to a level that white people could bear. Mexico is no longer abiding by this agreement, threatening the health and safety of “the gringos.”
“The foolish white people will feel our wrath,” Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador said. “I have issued an executive order to all producers of salsa that is exported to the US to increase the spiciness by a minimum of 50%.”
“No mouth will go unburnt.”
The president also ominously suggested he might withdraw the nation’s army of taco trucks from coming across the border and serving delicious tacos, should Trump not relent.
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Everyone knows that salsa is made in NY City.
New York City??!!!
Get a rope!
My buddy just yesterday said if the taco trucks leave he is following them! Haha
Pfffft… there’s Mexican hot & then there’s Thai hot where 1/2 a teaspoonfull on a plate of food makes the difference between spicy & tasty or red-faced, trouble breathing, forehead sweating, real pain when you shit the next day.
Miley, it’s a joke article. Everybody knows that America dominates the world hot sauce market. Tabasco out of Avery Island is an international favorite. Siracha out of Irwindale is gaining in strength. America grows more pinto beans that all of Mexico, we have the salsas, we have the tacos – Jack in the box sells more tacos than burgers. We have a strong military that ensures American products find a market everywhere in the world. We will soon be selling kimchi to North Koreans.
We are the Storm, trust the plan. The plan is to pull a Rocky and beat the fuck out of the other guy and win the title back.
No shit, Coyote. I saw Babylon Bee & thought it was a real true story… just this one time.
You surprise me being a good self-respecting coyote & all, but equating Tabasco as hot sauce? Cheezis Kreist, those sauces you listed are barely low to mid level warm, not even lower level hot. If you ever get to Monterey CA, there’s a hot sauce shop in that mess of shops down by the ocean with some pretty interesting stuff, but nothing… NOTHING I’ve ever eaten in this lifetime is as potent as the local Thai ladies hot sauce. The dog got just a little taste by accident & sneezed a lot at 1st. 3 hours later he was running around the house, lifting his legs & skidding his asshole on the carpet trying to put the fire out. By all means stay away from yer sweety’s cooter if you’ve handled this stuff & not thoroughly washed your hands with soap in hot water. Don’t get any in yer eye either.
You might recall the story of how Denise sidestepped explaining her ‘rocket’ nickname. She said a friend of hers was in the park with her boo eating KFC with the complimentary pickled Jalapenos. Later, they were in a clinch and her friend felt a burning sensation in her cootchie, she ran to the nearest water fountain. Nice story but Denise never explained the nickname.
Tabasco, real Tabasco and not the stuff you get at Denny’s, is like creeper weed. I bought some Louisiana hot sauce that had been spiked, it was too hot to enjoy. Habaneros which are supposedly hotter than Cayenne don’t do much for me. Jalapenos have their years when they are ripening hot. Some people swear by Serranos. I don’t see the point of going for hotter stuff.
Denise? Hoodat?
You might recall the story of how [some random chick I knew] sidestepped explaining her ‘rocket’ nickname.
EC, have you tried the Dave’s Gourmet sauces out of San Rafael, CA (up in Marin). They have sauces like Scorpion Pepper (which I have in my hand now), one called Death (which is not their hottest), Ghost Pepper, Insanity and Total Insanity. https://store.davesgourmet.com/SearchResults.asp?Cat=75
A couple of these are available at Target Super Stores and most of them are available at World Market. I think Ghost Pepper is their hottest. It’s hotter than we can usually achieve by just grinding habaneros. We go through a shit ton of pepper – including the 90,000 unit cayenne powder.
I had a Korean girlfriend, many years ago, and she was addicted to Thai peppers/spices. Just being in the kitchen when she was cooking made me break out in a sweat. I have never, in all my travels, ate anything hotter than what she normally ate. Of course, just being around her made me break out in a sweat – she was seriously as hot as the Thai food.
Good, more heat for the money.