TROUTDALE, MI—An insane man who is known for stumbling through the streets of Troutdale shouting at people that he’ll buy back things from them that he never owned after he takes money from them that he does not possess has become one of the leading candidates in the 2020 presidential election.
While the man’s name remains unknown, most experts agree that he is clinically insane and has very little connection to actual reality. “He seems to believe that everything on this Earth once belonged to him, including all the money. Within that paradigm, he believes he can spend all the money to buy all the stuff he wants even though he is literally just some guy who smells like bad tuna salad and whiskey,” said psychologist Henry P. Davis of Dartmouth. “This man is very ill.”
But before the man could be taken away by authorities to a mental health facility, the Democratic party scooped him up and drafted him as another possible candidate for 2020. “This man aligns perfectly with our values as a party,” said Tom Perez, party chair. The man’s poll numbers have seen an exponential rise thanks to the fact that many Democrats believe they too owned everything on this earth including all the money and can buy whatever they want with it.
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Troutdale, huh? I remember when Johnny LaRue and I ran him out of Mellonville in ’84.
first saw the caption an thought must be talking the communist joo POS sanders,
Most certainly not the joo drumph. Ass hole . Surprise for me.
Isn’t buying our stuff from us with our money literally part of the platform of every one of the Dem candidates (gun ‘buy backs’)? They’re all insane, too – and I can’t remember which ones are using which pronouns this week, so ‘insane guy’ doesn’t narrow down the field too much.
Which candidate is this about? Gay Spartacus or Black Vagina are my top guesses.
“Beto” I believe. He’s been talking about a mandatory buyback of all ‘assault weapons’ for a while now. I’d like to know, purely for curiosity’s sake, since Im not ‘selling’ jack shit to him, the price they have in mind for all this. They usually give maybe 350 at these gun buybacks, is that what they are planning to offer at the national level? Are you going to tell me that you’ll give me 350 for a 3000$ rifle and call it good, say that I wasn’t deprived of my property without recourse?
Here is how it is done:
In the interest of the General Welfare and to promote SAFETY and SECURITY of civilians a law will be crafted with Legalese and Policy Speak terms that will become binding regulations.
In 1993 a wetlands protection law turned many thousands of farmland into “protected wetlands.” The stipulations and misapplication of rules caused many plots to be declared “protected” simply because there were a few trees left standing around a pond for cattle, perhaps. Zealous Government land grabbers simply “redefined” swamp.
The land, drained of water in the early 1900s in a National Works Project to create arable alluvial farm land, stands overgrown and weedy in the middle of fields. Someone once had a house and a few trees perhaps. The house gone but protected for the trees.
The guns will become government property in YOUR hands. You can own them but never use them.
Like those little stands of trees in the fields around here. Some of us remember who used to live there
One day you’ll tell grandchildren about that rifle in your Display cabinet. It will be an heirloom… Seen but never heard from.