Talking about choking the chicken is now acceptable. So, go pound salt if you don’t like today’s question. Fer crying out loud the ZoomChoke app made it on the front page of the NY Post. Below is an actual picture of their biggest star;
Q: Have YOU ever been caught jerking your pud? (If yes, you MUST provide details.)
=========================================
Note: Women may also answer this question. Of course, I realize women never pleasure themselves. Women buy all those vibrators because they think they are vacuum cleaners. However, if you ever caught your man favoring his hand over your hoohoo, we would love to hear about it,
I envision 3 scenarios per today’s question.
1). This is the first QOTD where there is not even one response to the question. No man really wants to admit he strokes the lizard even though it is the one thing we all have in common, from America to Zaire. At least 2 billion men will spill by their own hand their taco sauce today.
2) There will be hundreds of responses as men clamor to unload their …. guilt. Keeping this secret-that-is-no-secret has stiffened our psychological development. We are so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves silly — after the act, of course — for being such weak pussies, despite our love for said pussy. This is the time to set yourself free, once and for all. Spill your guts, man!
3) I will be rebuked, reviled, cursed, criticized (“Kids read this blog, Stucky!!”), mocked, and some of you will demand a ban. Some might bring up my horse-fucking article from several years ago as proof that my Decline Into Degeneracy has marched on unabated. Well, it’s not my fault if some of you can’t handle the truth.
Me?
I was in 10th grade. I had a weekend job sweeping a factory floor. One of the workers had a nudie picture on his drill press. I stole it and took it home … had it for years. I still remember the picture as if it was yesterday. Really. It was of a redhead reclining on a diving board, the bright blue water contrasting spectacularly with her red hair, and her legs spread wide open. This was the 60’s and getting such hard-core porn was hard to cum by. One Saturday morning I was doing what teenage boys do when they see God’s most wonderful of all creations … and mom walked in the room.
I covered up my three inch monster, she looked at me, I looked at her, she turned around and walked out the door. We never ever talked about it. But, I knew she would tell my dad. Dad is eating his breakfast and the first words out of mom’s mouth were; “I think there’s something wrong with Nicki.” I didn’t eavesdrop to listen to the rest. I was scared to death my father was gonna come to my room and demand the picture. Then what would I jerk off to? Those Kneegrows in our stash of NatGeo magazines? Fortunately, my dad never ever brought it up either. I was free to use that picture as an aid to my needs all the way through high school graduation.
OK, it’s your turn.
Here’s an aid to help you get started.
THE END
“The Left” as opposed to “The Right”
James Woods would not have an audience if it wasn’t for all the unfortunate fools stuck in the Left vs. Right paradigm. But hey, that could be said for a shitload of Left bad-Right good pundits.
Welcome to it.
Hoo hoo?
That’s a medical term ????
The Jade Gate; Temple of Aphrodite; Honeypot;….the names are myriad as are those who worship there.
Aka Soul Snatcher 3,000
My wife calls it her hoo haw! Hoo hoo must be some foreign corruption creeping in.
Magical Kingdom
Cookie
“C’mon, momma. Let me kiss on cookie……”
What will you come up with next, Stucky? I bet you don’t get a lot of answers admitting it.
Yup, this thread has been up for over a hour. ZERO admissions! THAT’S the real tragedy …. not me posting this which is, after all, based on actual news.
I’m surprised RiNS hasn’t weighed in. The gods in Valhalla choke the chicken all day and night, and encourage their followers to do likewise. I’m sure he could write a book about his solo flights.
Stuck,
You seriously didn’t think you were going to get a slew of comments describing other guys spanking the monkey, beating the bishop, jerkin’ the gerken or stroking’ the salami now did you?
rins is on lockdown b/c he left nova scotia,remember–
between his wife looking over his shoulder & the provincial govt fuks monitoring his comms,i doubt he’ll weigh in on this topic–
Never forget the first time I “did it”. Knew I was gonna have to do it again.
One of my all time favorites: Father catches son jerking off in bathtub says, “Son, you keep doing that your gonna go blind. Son: can I keep doing it till I have to wear glasses?”
I was busy with important matters and couldn’t pull myself away.
You are correct aboot Odin. He leads by example and doesn’t mind having a laugh or two at the end of the day. Red is right though there are eyes everywhere right now. As for the chicken, the only kind being had around here was BBQ’ed tonight for supper. It was a bit overdone but wife still appreciated it.
Never been caught but follow this rule..
There are three types of people in world.
1 – Those who pull the pony or paddle the canoe.
2- Those who lie about the pulling and the paddling.
3- Mormons
I’m not a Mormon
It’s Latter Day Saint.
And then there are lumberjacks.
lol
Good to see you Ghost. Glad to see your apparition round here again!
another song
and it is moar than two minutes..
So there’s that Stucky!
Maggie, if that’s really you, I welcome you back.
Is me VV but not often. And not long. If Stuckenmeister emails me AND if EC replies to an email I sent, I might actually log into WordPress. (Blue Moon Over Kentucky by Elvis comes to mind as does Bea Attitude, Et al.
Ttfn
don’t evade the question vv–
Sure I’ve done it. Everybody does. I’ve never been dumb enough to get caught.
You’re nasty…..:^)
Do you mean that in a good way? Is that a smile?
But as I said earlier (below), it’s easier for women to not get caught compared to men who leave the evidence, visually and physically.
Nikit, you could call me “stealth.”
Yes, I meant that in a good way, Stealth.
In veterinary school there were groups/clubs one would join based on the type of practice one intended on pursuing, for Example AABP…American Association of Bovine Practitioners. There was a certain group of ne’er do wells who always sat in the back row of lecture hall. We had our own group AAMI…American Association of Meat Inspectors, which was named in honor of a Pathology professor that during his first lecture every year told all second year veterinary students that all you had to do is pass and graduate veterinary school and even you could be a meat inspector. He also would gleefully tell everyone that in the history of teaching Pathology no one had ever received a perfect score on his section of the Pathology exam.
Exhibited below is our club T shirts from our Third year of Vet school. I did the artwork for said shirt and I was the first one ever to “Ace” his section of the Path exam my second year of veterinary school ???
After finding out you can get paid to donate sperm I got to wondering how much money I’ve let slip thru my fingers literally!
Billions.
Shoulda changed your nom de plume to “Sticky” for this one….personally, I save my me time for Fridays when The Feral Irishman comes out with his famous Friday Femme Fatale. Now there is something worth punching the clown for!
Too much Stucky these days…please take a break.
I’m just getting started, sweetie.
Hey, Stuck’s pitiful attempts at humor and remote psychoanalysis do serve a useful purpose.
They help to dilute and distract from the daily shitbird columnists; Pat Buchanan, Eric Peters, and Paul Craig Roberts.
.22,
There are a lot of people you deride whose shoelaces you couldn’t tie…occasionally you have a point…but most of the time you are a Putz.
As far as the Platform on Fire…Stucky is at the top of the list…and far past how you demeaned him.
With this comment…you put the P in Putz.
Don’t forget 22’s extra gay Mittens hard on for Brandon Smith articles. He puts Michael Obama to shame.
And the mormontard cretin strikes again. Apparently he thinks he can convert someone here to the Church of Mormontology. We’ll call it Trolling For Tards.
You don’t have to read what he posts but apparently you were curious enough to do so.
couple of memes trending so far…
the “Me Too bin” movement,
and
The Toobin Missile Crisis.
More come, certainly.
Ahem.
“Coomin’ Toomin”
Duh.
https://www.dictionary.com/e/memes/coomer/
In other news, a voter in NYC was asked on camera:
What are ya doing, and who do you want to win the upcoming election?
from March of 2020, in the early days of Covid
FF material for sure
That reminds me of the scene in “The Graduate” movie when Ben takes his date to the titty bar and the dancer is twirling her tassles in Elaine’s face.
stucky,
i’ve never done what you’re talking about & quite frankly,i only have a vague idea of what you are talking about b/c mama told me that nice boys don’t touch themselves “down there”,and i always listen to mama–
questions 4 you stucky–why do you want to know all this about other men?is it to add to your gay porn collection,or b/c you’re trying to assuage your feelings of guilt 4 disappointing your own mama when she caught you touching yourself” down there”?
That’s easy.
To assuage my feelings of guilt. Knowing there are other deviants out there helps me lighten my load … if you know what I mean,
So TRed is right. You get off by watching other men wanking their wand.
You, sir, are on fire today
Bwwwaaahhaaaaa
it figures,jack makes his 1st comment in 6 months on this thread–
Apparently, something caught his interest.
Whew….I’m just glad it wasn’t a question about the ol’ reach around……errr, never mind.
What the hell is a reach around? I’m not up on the lingo.
you don’t want to know
Yes I do because I’ve seen it mentioned before and have no idea what it is.
So it’s a homo thing?
Not necessarily… Boobage can be a whole lot of fun…
And dropping the soap is a game heteros can play as well.
If limber.
Howdy ho!
In the original, derogatory version, yes.
Diddling the clit when entering from behind can also be considered a reach around.
Ok VV you asked. When you’re slipping the ol’ sausage in your male friends buns it polite to “reach around” and give him a handi.
Oh. Ugly pictures now in my head. But at least now I know what it means. Seems like that would be a bit awkward though, but what do I know.
CNN just trying to penetrate what is lately a very stiff marketplace…..The other networks just won’t give then an inch….
So…do we now truly know Toobin’s gender?
Or should he change his name to the French…Tubin’?….
HOO-HOO to the Hee-Haw girls…..can’t remember that far back?
also…..CNN sucks….
Question: You ever been caught pulling your pud in the closet?
Answer: No!
Questioner: It must be a good place to hide!?
Stucky. I never got caught doing such a vile act, but I did overhear my Mom telling someone she found a stash of Playboy’s under a drawer in my closet.
Here I thought I had found the perfect hiding space and she was aware of it all along. She did not say if she showed them to my Dad, but he would have approved as I had found his stash a few years earlier.
Stucky,
I have married the right woman.
Delegation is an art…and my name is Rembrandt.
Not very Christlike, but here goes;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3bCc8xYAuQ
Dear Lord (not the Mormon snake oil salesman), You broke the TBP no nipple rule!!
I thought that was Maggie’s rule.
Maybe so, think Admin has to rule in, I vote yeah.
Why do you vote no on nips?
yeah, i vote yeah
I’ll allow it.
As a purveyor of many FF photos and memes I was initially unaware of the NNR (no nipple rule) as a newbie. I understand it’s place now especially given the comment session from 2 weeks ago. If the NNR was voided I’m actually afraid the raunch would become the norm and TBP might actually get in deep shit. Not that I’m not an aficionado of Nipples but I think we should leave things as they are, and aim at a more artful depiction of the female form which I believe is one of the most beautiful masterpieces God gifted us with. Everybody knows a little imagination and tease is much more intriguing than hey look a naked boob.
I think we should stick with no nips in photos. As you say, that could cause some trouble for Admin. But on a video, especially from a movie, I see no reason not to post it. You can’t see it unless you click play.
I thought it was part of the old Big Dog “code of ethics and posting etiquette,” from back in the olden times.
Before.
What can I say?
Stucky “blew it.”
He could have highlighted his article with the ALL TIME GREATEST whacking-off scene in the history of the universe, but utterly failed to do so.
Jeffrey Toobin beat him to the punch.
There was a character from TBP years ago, SSS. He was some kind of retired secret squirrel spook, living the good life, golfing in Arizona. I think the “No Nipple Rule” was actually his. (To my memory; I reserve the right to be wrong.)
“Here’s an aid to help you get started.”
Just in case any of you perverts are getting turned on by this thread. (although could this also be a turn on for some here?) Carry on. Enjoy.
Something just went limp.
seebee,
please take that down b4 nkit sees it & relapses–
yes, I’m having a relapse….
My guess is have the eye bleach handy Friday
Here come the black guys.
Big booty call.
There’s enough there for all of us!
a couple of gross stories about this subject–
when i was just starting college at the local cc at age 18,i walked into the mens room one day & in the stall i went into there was a skin mag on the floor w/cum all over a model’s mid section–huh,can’t wait till you get home?
about 20 years later the same situation occurred in a mcdonald’s ,except this time it was worse–it was gay porn–
i was grossed out but also thought it was funny–i was doing field work w/my boss,who was also a preacher–i called him in to look at it,which pissed him off,which made me laugh at him all the more–
maybe stucky should have asked you guys about the weirdest place you ever relieved your stress–
The entire homo Trump administration is known to make McDonalds runs. It could have been any one of them.
That reminds me of a scene in Being There where Chauncey Gardener gets asked by this super flamer “Have you ever had sex with a man?” and Chauncey answers “I don’t think so”, leaving the flamer very confused.
After going to bed one night when I was around 12 or so, I’m laying there under the covers in my bed with a massive boner straining straight to the sky. Without knocking, my Mom barged into my room to nag me about something, and there I was looking like a human circus tent. There was no way to miss the pole holding up the blanket in the center of the bed, but I was frozen like a deer in headlights and didn’t dare try to hide the evidence. She pretended not to notice and did a hell of a good job of not busting out laughing. I remember it like it was yesterday, but couldn’t tell you what she was talking about.
Women have it much easier. There’s no tell-tale evidence like a pole holding up the blanket.
Maybe you should have laid on your side. 🙂
Oh, I did. 😉 On my side, on my back, standing up, sitting down, backwards, forwards. Any way you can imagine, and probably a few you can’t. I was lucky the one time she caught me I wasn’t furiously humping a banana peel in the kitchen or something.
I caught my son once when I opened the door of his bedroom unexpectedly. He threw the cover over himself quickly before the door was fully opened but I saw what we was up to. He was probably about 11 or 12 at the time. I played stupid and asked him the question I went in to ask and he answered, coherently I might add. Never said a word to him or he to me about it. It’s simply a natural thing to do so, to me, nothing to discuss. I made sure afterwards that I always knocked on the door and asked if he was “dressed” (as in attired so there’s no confusion) to give him fair warning.
Good Mom instincts there. Back in my single days I was seeing a woman who was quite a smoke show – small athletic frame but with a pair of perfectly round 34Cs that defied gravity as if through some kind of magic incantation, and long silky black hair that went halfway down her back. I walked in on her one time taking a shower in my master bathroom (glass shower) and just happened to catch her right as she hit bingo – breasts swollen and nipples erect, fingers working away at her magic bean with legs quaking. There was no hiding nor doubt of what was going on, despite the lack of a boner on her part. LOL.
I’m betting that girl friend was either Italian or Iranian. They’re both known for a silky hair line down the back.
Italian – good guess!
Ill take the pepsi challenge, it seems thats what this is, a Stucky Maturbation Humiliation Challenge, cathartic.
When young at Disney World with the whole fam late night in the hotel room, bad decision, it was probably the pedo saturation all day at the park or one of the half naked princesses smiling at me, I couldn’t help myself.
In the dorms, auditory mishaps, but it was a regular occurrence for all basically.
Most embarrassing was not exactly masturbation but rather copulation, the girlfriend now wife and I were going for it full speed on the couch and mom stops by and just walks in, cuz mom I guess. She being hard of hearing couldent hear the commotion, us making serious commotion couldn’t hear mom pull up or come in. When all realized the truth of this, mom froze… like a deer in the headlights. We were quite exposed, fully nude, separated , I was standing, and self finishing, maybe talking dirty, yelling and the like.
Mom maintained the hard freeze, immobile, and it took us a few moments to detune, being so close to mission accomplished. I dont know how long she was seized up captive to the debauchery, I dont want to. And when she came to, she just left without a word, maxed out, wobbly, damaged.
Some things you cant unsee.
Geez, that story even traumatized me.
First time the nuns caught me they thanked me because they thought I was saving them from a boa constrictor.
Not gonna touch this one.
I will say that an early Playboy with the 60s bikini clad woman standing next to a 68 Shelby convertible drove me later into adulthood to own one. I’ll never forget that ad.
Two,you had/have a Shelby Cobra,was it a KR?
Or,was it a women you ended up buying?
Haha…I have paid dearly for women but not in the way you ask.
Small block Shelby. Best investment I ever made. Even at the rotisserie stage of needing restoration it nearly tripled my money. Overweight, squeaky, uncomfortable, ill handling and on and on but what a design.
Nice,they are a great investment in the motor world.Me friends dad had a convertible KR with 428 ect.,probably go for well over 200 thou he was to sell it,have fun with your project.
I am at moment looking for a early 70’s Blazer/Jimmy full convertible,will pay dearly but dammit,I want one!
You’ll pay dearly indeed. ALL that money would buy a large lot somewhere. Hint hint.
But you mistake what I implied. I sold eons ago. Then went and dove headfirst into Ducatis, had a screaming blast but lost my shirt to em.
LAND LAND AND LAND.
Does 20 acres with a home/range/mediocre first year garden count?I have a lot of preps for what ever may happen that said,also want to enjoy life,and a convertible Blazer/Jimmy will help me enjoy life a little more!
I am also eyeballing/pricing some higher end night vision,gonna buy once/cry once.
+1000
Well,you lock your door ect. one will not get caught,will they?!
With that said closest I came(huh huh) to getting caught was girlfriend lets just say giving a helping hand for a sample to be sure me vasectomy had worked out(worked out fine!).
Now,remember last week when I questioned whether a good idea that the stuckman has unlimited net access,well,with articles like this is does make you wonder what some folks were thinking!
I was about, I dunno, 15 or 16 at the time. Hustler in the bathroom. Forgot to lock the door. Dad walks in. Says, “It’s no big deal.” and walks back out. Sharing funny stories with my buddies out drinking beer one night. I thought that time was sacrosanct. One douchebag did not see it so. Monday morning at school, had everyone laughing at me. Fucker.
I will pose a question to go along with Stucky’s…..
What does three-putting on a golf green and masturbation have in common?
Ans: It’s embarrassing but you know you are going to do it again.
I remember being told to try it with my left hand cause if feels like someone else is doing it. It did feel like some one else was doing it but it also felt like I had someone else’s willie in my left hand. So I quit doing that.
I swear this question has been asked before, by Stucky. And no, I’ve never been caught, came close a couple of times…..now I don’t hide from the wife anymore.
When i beat it on camera, i call it YouToobin
Now that’s funny.
one of you guys try this & let us know how it works out 4 you–
https://www.acsh.org/news/2020/10/08/bluetooth-smart-chastity-belt-men-just-nuts-15076