Biden Announces Ambitious Goal Of $100 Per Gallon Gas By End Of First 100 Days In Office

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In spite of Democrats’ best efforts to curb the use of fossil fuels, stubborn Americans continue to use them to power their automobiles and heat their homes. Biden is responding to this crisis with an ambitious new plan to raise the price of gas to $100 per gallon by the end of his first 100 days in office.

“Listen– all these fossil fuels, they gotta stop! Gotta stop!” Biden said to the Secret Service agent pumping gas into his presidential limo. “We gotta do something about these selfish Americans and one-horse kangaroo herders burning all these fuels without consequences. I know consequences. Just ask Corn Pop and his buddies. When I’m done with ’em, these Americans will never burn a gallon of gas again, Jack!”

The administration has announced the “Gas Prices To The Mooooon” campaign– a series of executive orders designed to drive the price of fuel up to make it unattainable to anyone except John Kerry.

When confronted with the question of how Americans will afford to get around with $100-per-gallon gas, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi suggested they stay home and eat some ice cream instead.

Currently, the average price per gallon stands at $2.53 per gallon and rising, which experts say is likely Trump’s fault.

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11 Comments
Georges S
Georges S
February 20, 2021 8:22 am

Dumb Foxtrot

john
john
February 20, 2021 8:38 am

He will get his wish.

James
James
February 20, 2021 9:36 am

100. dollar a gallon gas and all the pain that will cause,hhhmmmmmm…..

They really need more troops in DC.

Ed
Ed
February 20, 2021 9:47 am

Hey, Babylon Bee, don’t give the fucker any ideas, OK?

TX Patriot
TX Patriot
  Ed
February 20, 2021 10:33 am

That was my thought exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!

subwo
subwo
  Ed
February 20, 2021 3:37 pm

What’s that expression? From your lips to dementoid’s ears?

who knew
who knew
February 20, 2021 11:00 am

C’mon man. I am going to punch out his lights behind the bleachers. We did not have a vaccine when I came to power, they injected me with a fake, twice. 240 million thousand Americans have died of Covid. Double masking is the way to go, just suck harder. I received the most votes in the history of the world, c’mon man.

PorkChopSandwiches
PorkChopSandwiches
February 20, 2021 11:05 am

gas in my AO was around $1.65 on election day. its $2.29 now. i’m already budgeting for $3+ by memorial day.

TX Patriot
TX Patriot
  PorkChopSandwiches
February 20, 2021 12:26 pm

Optimist!!!! Maybe $3 per liter!!!

Wilbert Harrison
Wilbert Harrison
February 21, 2021 12:42 am

Don’t forget: 10% for the big guy.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 27, 2021 4:07 pm

yet he bombs Syria for guess it, fossil fuels lol. what a moron.