WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking technology malfunction during a recent appearance, President Biden was revealed to be a robotic human suit driven by former president Jimmy Carter.
“Listen, folks, gas lines aren’t that ba–” said President Biden as he began to twitch. “If you, if you’re, I, I, I… uh… what was I saying?”
There was then a series of beeping noises as Biden’s face opened up, revealing former president Carter — who could easily fit inside Biden’s head due to his minuscule size — sitting behind the controls.
Carter waved sheepishly at the shocked reporters. “Oops, wrong button. I’m sorry everyone! While I have you, Israel is an apartheid state and the next 4 years will probably be worse than the last 4 years…uh… forget you saw me, ok?”
Carter then pressed a button on his control panel and Biden’s face closed and clicked shut.
“S-s-sorry about that folks,” said Biden. What did I miss?”
Jen Psaki then swore the press pool to secrecy and gave them chocolate chip cookies.
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Makes sense. Really, to make it much more chilling and more scary and truly realistic, substitute Bloomberg or Herr Schwab.
Waste of bandwidth