WASHINGTON, D.C.—After seeing Olympic gymnast Simone Biles’s inspiring decision to quit the Olympics right before the finals, President Biden has announced that he too will be resigning from the presidency to focus on his own mental health.
“That pretty little gymnast girl quit the Olympics, and that’s just inspiring folks,” said Biden. “I wanted to be President for myself, but after a while, I started to realize I was still doing this for other people. I need to take this time away to focus on my own personal issues instead of always trying to please others. Self-care, folks! Gotta do it!”
Pundits in the media are praising the President for his “courageous” decision to step away to take some time to focus on himself. “Make no mistake–President Biden is a hero for the cause of mental health,” said Brian Stelter, tears welling up in his eyes. “I hope this will inspire more people to take a stand and quit their work. As a matter of fact, I quit!” Stelter then walked off the set, never to be seen again.
Biden’s resignation has prompted a new movement, with everyone across the world walking off their jobs to take more time for themselves.
Biden aides have confirmed the President will be checking himself into a senior living facility later this week.
According to sources, Kamala Harris will be taking over the presidency starting next Monday.
(UPDATE: Kamala Harris has also decided to quit for the sake of her own mental health.”
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Too funny!
If Someones Bile can do it why not Xiden?
“Number one, it’s Biden. Biden clearly is corrupt. Biden was an individual whose whole history is nothing but pathological lies and corruption. At high school he was a plagiarizer, college plagiarizer, law school plagiarizer. He was the lowest man in every school. He was dumb as they come, and more importantly he had an aneurysm in his brain. And what you have now, clinically, — is that Biden is demented. There’s no question he’s disoriented, the time, place, in person, he didn’t even know which state he was in. Anything confabulated that’s called clinical dementia, — but none of the other neurologists, or psychiatrists are going to take number.”
– Dr Steve Piezcenik
DOPPLE-GANGER!!!!
There is no way in hell Dementia* could come up up that coherent of a sentence.
It’s the Babylon Bee. Commie Joe had nothing to do with what was said. It just happens to be extremely truthful, extremely sad but extremely funny all at the same time.
If there are people here who want to see Dementia” out of office before his term ends, you’re not thinking of the consequences.
I think Da Ho will get to pick her own VP.
So, how would you like a H0-AOC ticket … or, a Ho-CuomoDaHomo … or Ho-Cornpop ……. or whatever God-forsaken franken-shit combo that’s available?
Hang in here Joe!!
Then Da Ho is forced out for whatever and we have Cornpop as Prez and it’s selection for VP. We then have a P and VP that no one elected.
New elections please.
Kamaltoe will make a great VP. What an inspiration to all young women everywhere. Get ahead by giving head to an older, married, politically powerful man. WAY TO GO HO!!!
Simone Biles quit the Team Competition. Why should we care?
bile
/bīl/
noun
noun: bile
1. a bitter greenish-brown alkaline fluid that aids digestion and is secreted by the liver and stored in the gallbladder. Closely related to shit.
Hey, Simone Biles ….. your name fits!!
It’s sports. I don’t care.
https://tv.gab.com/channel/pjreport/view/biden-greeted-on-the-road-today-6101c644ad1cdaf97a1ab829
Hey Nkit,
Do you have a source for that quote? Have seen it a few times and love it. Has a similar feel to Kipling’s Saxon poem.