Instead Of Kryptonite, New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns

Via The Babylon Bee

BURBANK, CA—The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.

“I’ll finally defeat Superman! He’s such a liberal snowflake!” says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. “I’m non-binary! It should be ‘THEY is such a snowflake!’ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.

“We are so proud to break new ground with this stunning, brave, totally expected, and culturally fashionable change to the Superman character,” said writer Tom Taylor. “We look forward to selling dozens and dozens of copies.”

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23 Comments
Stucky
Stucky
October 18, 2021 11:48 am

It’s SuperPERSON, dammit!!

ICE-9
ICE-9
  Stucky
October 18, 2021 11:59 am

Superfag, written by fags, for fags. He’s being set up to be replaced as the all American hero by Superfly with his sidekick Shaft.

Captain_Obviuos
Captain_Obviuos
  ICE-9
October 18, 2021 1:56 pm

This is just another deliberate act of destroying (and emasculating) White men and their idols, just like with the new James Bond travesty. If they’re not killed off and replaced by a black female, they’re shown to be Nancy Boys.

Is this a true reflection of where Whites are today?

Conrad Siegfried
Conrad Siegfried
October 18, 2021 12:17 pm

Actually, the sight of MAGA hats really weakens him.

RiNS
RiNS
October 18, 2021 1:46 pm
B_MC
B_MC
  RiNS
October 18, 2021 2:00 pm

One commenter on that Twitter thread suggested a replacement…

“Please Go Justin”

RiNS
RiNS
  B_MC
October 18, 2021 2:05 pm

Just when it can’t get anymoar ridiculous here in Canuckistan something like this crosses the wires of the interweb… Hard to believe that this is a thing, though it does prove once the power of an effective meme!

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  B_MC
October 18, 2021 2:51 pm

Can you say “Justin Trudeau is the spawn of Castro and he’s a fag and a commie”?

Sir Willie Wallace
Sir Willie Wallace
  Iska Waran
October 18, 2021 3:50 pm

Apparently so!

BL
BL
  Iska Waran
October 18, 2021 7:55 pm

RiNS- It is prolly time for NS to wall off from the rest of Canucistan. Declare NS a whole new country with no ties to Commieland.

RiNS
RiNS
  BL
October 19, 2021 11:51 am

That is a great idea Bea!

falconflight
falconflight
  RiNS
October 18, 2021 2:12 pm

Subject to immediate termination without appeal or union rights.

RiNS
RiNS
  falconflight
October 18, 2021 2:29 pm

Crazy! Further proof, if proof was even needed, that Canuckistan has jumped the shark and become a communist dystopia..

Ghost
Ghost
  RiNS
October 18, 2021 3:02 pm

When is closing?!

What if your friend named Brandon needs encouragement? Let’s go my friend!

Fuck Joe Biden

RiNS
RiNS
  Ghost
October 18, 2021 5:01 pm

Nov 30th…. It is going to be great to sit on bench for a while and watch the shitshow unfold.

Sir Willie Wallace
Sir Willie Wallace
  RiNS
October 18, 2021 3:50 pm

Let’s Go Canada!

RiNS
RiNS
October 18, 2021 1:49 pm
centinel
centinel
  RiNS
October 18, 2021 3:23 pm

The real heroes are the ones who get offended by mean words and run away somewhere to hide from the bad guys.

falconflight
falconflight
October 18, 2021 2:10 pm

Anyone still enriching Hollywood, Inc., is the rot, the poison, and the minions of evil.

Vigilant
Vigilant
October 18, 2021 2:41 pm

One more reason why I like Marvel better.

Vigilant
Vigilant
  Vigilant
October 18, 2021 2:47 pm

Scrolled down to learn about Safespace and Snowflake, excuse me while I take a break to go hurl…
Let’s go Marvel 😉

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
October 18, 2021 2:55 pm

What’s worse than the fact that California just passed a LAW saying retailers can’t segregate toys (or toy aisles) by whether the toys are for boys or girls is that California voters knowingly and repeatedly elect the kind of representatives who would pass a law like that.

centinel
centinel
October 18, 2021 3:26 pm

It will be interesting to see what woke Superman actually does. And how DC makes live-in-your-own-head liberalism work with a hero persona that is supposed to be about action and physicality.

Is it all just one big, jumbled thought bubble?

Superman standing around protesting with a bunch of other purple-haired losers, holding a sign that says “Stop Lex Luthor!”?