Question of the day submitted by Captain_Obviuos
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Does your spouse have any habits that drive you crazy?
THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. 
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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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NO
Rather emphatically, I might add.
NOT A SINGLE THING! (looks around furtively)
Wise answer.
The picture of the two pretzels with the middle eaten first is an actual picture after Avalon decided the middle had the most salt, so that’s where she started. Perfectly normal and not annoying in any way.
Splousey in the kitchen & see-through spblouses are crazy-making.
She talks
and thinks we can solve her non stop problems, or babbling thoughts….
The restaurant meme made me laugh. I just want dinner, and she won’t tell me what she wants. Still waiting…
Long ago I made sure of the restaurant destination before starting the car. Approaching 44 years…………………
She makes gagging noises when she brushes her teeth.
All these years she puts up with body parts in your closet and now you throw her under the bus?
BAD FORM Old Man!!!
My wife walks all around the house for ten minutes brushing her teeth.
It drives me nuts, so I go outside so I don’t say or do anything stupid because I’m scared of her.
What’s to be scared of?
Clutter bomber. Constantly bringing in crap that is useless.
yep, got this problem too….
Shoe hoarder.
How can you have so many shoes?
My wife is Imelda Marcos re-incarnated.
How about this one: buying things which she has no idea how to operate, but needs for business, so — rather than read the manual it comes with (are you insane?) — she then asks me to show her how to do so, which I do.
And the next time she has to use it, sometimes within days, we go through this whole process again; then the next time… Just no retention there or any desire to learn. Why should she when she’s got me, you know?
What are women going to do when there are no more men around to fix stuff?
wow. I own several rental properties and have reluctantly become surrogate husband to an army of divorced/ never married women who need a man to cut grass, stop leaks, replace windtorn shingles, etc. Feminism and demographic/cultural changes have isolated and impoverished women today. I have constant inquiries for housing and see a bleak future for those who believed they could have it all, do it all, and not need the hated patriarchy for anything. Face it folks. God created man and woman to be complimentary and completing. Each of us got only one half the picture.
I could be your wife!
She reads this column too so…
Nothing that on balance that is worse than my shit.
Andre the Giant used to shit in the bathtub because most toilets were too small for his ass.
And he was married.
Can you beat THAT?!?!?
(I don’t think I can, but perhaps I’m not honest enough with myself!!!)
Still laughing about the costumed guy in the background of his wife’s zoom calls…LOL!
What drives me crazy is that women (the wife) don’t think the same way that men do. I could write a book about all this, but let this comic explain it all in this 13 minute clip:
You really want your wife to think like a man? I don’t think you do. And, yes, everything is connected…that’s just common sense.
No AA, I really don’t want my wife, or any woman, to think like a man – look what that has done in our history (mainly created by men). When I first joined my counselling training group there were 18 starters but just 2 were men, me and another. The others were from caring careers, nurses, care-workers etc. Only me and 8 others lasted the two year course.
It was during this time that I discovered my feminine side (it’s rather limited – but there all the same) – the other guy didn’t make it. I have written about all this in my book ‘The Financial Jigsaw’ – Part 2 (Introduction). You will find at the the ‘ResearchGate link’ (pan down) – saves me repeating it all:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/358117070_THE_FINANCIAL_JIGSAW_-_PART_1_-_4th_Edition_2020
Good to know, Peter. I’ll read through it this weekend when I’m in the right frame of mind.
^^^ worth the thirteen ^^^
Thanks jo – Yes Chapter 13 is the important one. My predictions of a return to the 19th century may well come about. Keep reading my weekly Letters!
https://www.theburningplatform.com/author/austrian-peter/
Where, oh where, to begin?
The aptly named ‘snore cannon’, which is wheeled in and aimed right at my poor, old insomniac head, night after night.
A complete and utter incapacity with the simplest math, resulting in tips left that are either overly generous or embarrassingly paltry.
The seamless transition from PMS to menopause, without so much as a week’s respite between the two.
Rolling her eyes at me so often that I warn her they may not come back down some day.
Hosting the loudest silent treatments known to womankind.
To be fair, her list likely includes:
Incessant racist, misogynist, homophobic un-PC language, tarring and feathering anything on two legs.
Insufficient reverence for those most high holy days (her birthday, our anniversary, St. Valentine’s Day).
That time back in 1997 when I did that thing that pissed her off so much she won’t even describe it (“You know what you did!”)
Every time she gets really mad at me, she threatens to turn me in to the police.
Only in a good way.
The monkey gif never gets old, and you use it to perfection.
Oh yea…there is a list…but then there is that whole lips, hips, breasts…fishnet stocking thing…and I can’t remember anything on the list???
Count … your … blessings … and be oh-so grateful …
On a wedding anniversary a few years back we were sipping wine talking about how we met (in the French Quarter) getting ready to go to our favorite restaurant for a big date night.
She got a little emotional in a good way…stood up…held her arms out and motioned me to come to her and hold her hands…then in a gentle whisper locking onto my eyes while pulling me super close (the woman has amazing liquid blue eyes) she tenderly said:
“Mark, I just want you to know after all these decades our marriage has been like a day at the beach…then she squeezed my hands super tight and suddenly screamed in my face…NORMANDY!!!
I married the woman for a lot of reasons…the main one was she makes me LAUGH more than any girl/woman I have ever known…and still does.
That’s awesome, mark. You’ve written about your wife before. Sounds like you two are very happy together and connect well.
+100, mark. I 2nd Abby’s comment.
A relationship built on laughter, love, and fun doesn’t take the
idiosyncrasies too serious.
-> After all, if everyone was exactly like ourselves, the world would be
boring as listening to a relative’s slide show presentation of their vacation.
~Cheers!
AA – L,
Vive la différence!
She is from West Texas…I was raised in Jersey…Civil War two…the South is winning…
The woman can do a killer Church Lady, Pee Wee Herman, Ed Grimley, Elvis, and me (she cracks family & friends up with that one).
But my favorite is her Irma La Douce.
I’d never have married Mrs. CA if she wouldn’t fight with me
when we have disagreements.
Lot’s of fire in that woman. Tough as nails.
And making up is unreal.
That’s gold. She’s a keeper.
Yes, but I feel like it is more personal than the sex question, so I will keep it to myself.
A couple, BUT I am sure I have some that annoy her.
I just try and be polite, courteous, and work on my manners everyday.
Wow! just back and not many responses. Must be ALOT of TBP couples here.
I will go for “no” as well.
Thoughts on memes:
Big “Attaboy” to husband photo bombing in costume, well played, sir.
And Instatpot-whatever the hell that is-obviously didn’t want water dripping on newly grouted tire floor in bathroom that, chances are, was remodeled per HER request.
When we were first married, she would do a strip tease down to her birthday suit in front of me, whilst I was dropping the browns off at the pool. I knew I had (still have) a great woman.
Procrastination.
Facebook addiction.
Stole my idea of blaming farts on the dog.
plead the 5th…
I’m with Admin.
She has many faults but when I consider my first and second wives faults, hers are not worth mentioning.
You mean other than her antisocial, psychotic, neurotic, and paranoid behavior? Then there isn’t anything to report from here.