SEATTLE, WA — A man sitting in state prison for exposing himself to kids at a local playground is kicking himself that he didn’t just wait and do it at a pride parade instead.
“Man, I’m so mad at myself!” convicted sex offender Lester Carlyle said in an interview with reporters earlier this week. “I’m sitting here serving time for lewd conduct toward minors; I should have just waited until June and then I could have exposed myself in front of tons of kids with absolutely zero consequences and their parents would have cheered me on!”
Carlyle said he didn’t realize all he needed to do to escape legal trouble was throw on a feather boa and whip out his genitals in public in a pride parade.
“Dagnabit, I’m such a newb. Look at those other guys, waving their bait and tackle around in front of kids without a care in the world! If only I’d grabbed a pride flag that day I went to the park I might be eating lunch on the front lawn of the White House instead of in this dank jail cell!”
Carlyle said he plans on coming out as gay as soon as he gets out of jail and will be attending as many family-friendly pride events as possible. State leaders in Washington declined to comment on the matter, directing reporters instead to the state’s “It’s not criminal pedophilia if it happens during the month of June and the person doing it is queer” policy.
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If one does not follow correct polarity, sensitive electrical systems fail.
In further news, former president Donald Trump announced plans to hold a June 2024 Pride celebration at Mar-a-Lago in June 2024. Mr. Trump commented, “We hold dear the support of the Log Cabin Republicans especially after hosting their LGBT Gala in November 2021. We’ve made many friends in that organization and solidified our relationship with the gay community. You know, the votes, it’s all about the votes.”
June 2024 marks the end of the GOP primary season. Responding to timing of the June 2024 Pride celebration Trump said, “We are aware the final votes will not be tallied until June. For that reason we are going ahead with the celebration at the end of June just before Pride Month ends. Confidence is key, the power of positive thinking.”
Trump further indicated the support from the gay community pushed him over the top knowing this beforehand as it was prophesized to him while placing his hands on the Orb along with the hands of Saudi’s King Salman bin Abdulaziz, and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisiin in May 2017 but admitted “the prophecy was only possible because those guys hands were on the Orb as well as mine.” Later in the day Melania Trump admitted she was able to interpret the prophecy as well earning her accolades among evangelicals as being Daniele.
Way to go, Tex! Keep reminding us just how morally reprehensible the orange narcissist actually is.
Let it be in front of their eyes from election Day to Judgment Day!
I guess I should stop. Wait, nope. When dealing with some dopes nothing ever sinks in.
You’ve got to strip away that veneer of arrogant piety before anything will seep in. That’s a long tough haul. We might have to work in shifts! lol!
That’s not even funny because it’s true.
KTA
It’s the same way with “gender reassignment surgery” which is just bodily mutilation at the request of insane people when they aren’t being pressured into it by said doctors. Nothing about it is legal, but the bankers say it’s OK.
With transitioning, as with most things, we just need to follow the money.
It appears that the link I posted with my comment above did not work
Here is that link