WASHINGTON—Noting that the Valero Energy representative had been coming to his office for more than a decade now, Sen. John Cornyn (R‑TX) told reporters Thursday that he now knows the regular lobbyist’s order without even having to be told. “Pete always drops in Monday mornings around eight on his way to work—well, you see the same friendly face year after year and you just pick up on what he wants,” said Cornyn, adding that he’s typically already preparing the lobbyist’s usual order of tax breaks and fossil fuel subsidies even as he’s taking off his coat. “Every once in a while, he’ll throw me a curveball and ask for a rider slashing regulations on greenhouse gas emissions, but for the most part, he knows what he likes and sticks with it. The way I see it, folks will always come back if you treat them right.” At press time, the lobbyist had arrived right on time and was getting settled in his usual seat.
They should use this picture as the basis for his statue.
Guest Post by SM Gibson
(ANTIMEDIA) No matter the subject you wish to illuminate under the spotlight of scrutiny — whether it be finance, intellect, or even morality — Washington D.C. habitually operates with a deficit. Though at a quick glance it might seem that generally everything on Capitol Hill is in short supply, there is an unquestioned surplus when it comes to warmongers.
Not all brutes are created equal, however, and many of the elected are lukewarm. As dangerous as they are hypocritical, the tepid warmongers will boast about being war-weary and how they stand for the pursuit of peace while addressing the American people. They will simultaneously vote ‘yea’ on any resolution that results in bloodshed — and they’ll do it quicker than you can press play on the song Bombs Over Baghdad on your iPod. These cowardly political snakes choose to ask forgiveness from the dead rather than seek permission from the living.
But not Dick Cheney.