Barackalypse Now

Yes, he really said this.

On Monday, Barack Obama gave a “powerful rebuke” to ISIS terrorists by telling them that it’s pretty much too late for them to do us in because western civilization is already doomed. And, unsurprisingly, it’s largely the fault of stinking, greedy, energy-guzzling Americans like you.

Specifically, the Prophet Obama spake thusly: “I’ve come here personally, as the leader of the world’s largest economy and the second-largest emitter, to say that the United States of America not only recognizes our role in creating this problem, we embrace our responsibility to do something about it.”

Frankly, we find the notion of Obama embracing anything remotely like responsibility to be harder to swallow than the oxymoronic scientific “evidence” that the Earth is somehow warming without a measurable rise in temperature in almost 20 years, and thickening ice caps which Al Gore (who has also been thickening) had assured us would already be gone by now.

The U.N. Climate Summit in Paris, where the president spoke, is being attended by 150 world leaders who apparently don’t give a flying carbon credit that, for the past century or so, it’s actually been possible to communicate electronically without the need to fly yourself, your entourage, your security team, your makeup artists, and your speechwriters via giant, exhaust-spewing, fossil fuel-burning jets.

As a case in point, for every hour Air Force One spends in the air, 11 children will die of lung disease because of the increased pollution. A statistic which is made only slightly less terrifying owing to the fact that we just made it up. Which doesn’t mean that it isn’t true, it just means that it’s unsubstantiated by anything like empirical evidence – much like the president’s assertion that anthropogenic global warming not only exists but comes with a “Made in America” label.

Of course, the real point of this apocryphal apocalypse summit isn’t the climate, it’s to establish the mechanics of redistribution of wealth and power (both political and physical) from the United States to other countries which are, in Mr. Obama’s view, less morally loathsome than we are.

In other words, every dictatorship, caliphate, monarchy, religious oligarchy, and backwards totalitarian piss-pot hellhole on our non-warming Earth.