Guest Post by Kenny Lane
The company I work for employs a janitorial service to clean the lunchroom, locker room, restrooms and offices and they employ folks that I can only assume are illegals – silver teeth, no habla englis, old Mexico style of dress and haircuts, etc.
A couple weeks ago I was in Stall #5 (my favorite) grunting and farting when I heard the female janitor saying something at the doorway and I figured she was talking to one of our employees so I didn’t pay her any mind.
I finished my chapter and was stepping out of ol’ #5, still in the process of buttoning and zipping up and came face to face with her. It embarrassed me, it embarrassed her and she started letting me know about it – loudly, vehemently and in metsican, so loudly that Johnny (the guy that gave me that Blackhawk 45) came in wondering what all the racket was. He could hear it all the way out in the lunchroom. After listening to her, he turns to me and says “She asked twice if there was anybody in there and nobody answered. Then she turned the corner and came face to face with a gringo with his dick in his hand. It embarrassed her, she says you should have told her you were in there. So, was your dick hard or what?”
“Man, I don’t speak y’all’s gutter language. I didn’t know what she was saying or who she was talking to. Hell, I didn’t even know for sure who she was. No, it was going limp again, but still drippy. Tell her I’ll teach her how to say it in ‘murican, she needs to learn the fucking language anyways if she’s gonna insist on living here.”
“Okay bro, my lunch is getting cold. Right hand fast, left hand slow.” He rattles off a few words towards the senora and splits. She turns and looks at me expectantly, silver teeth gleaming. I was really hoping Johnny hadn’t told her I’d pay her for a blowjob.
It’s fucking hard to teach somebody a phrase when neither one speaks the other’s native tongue. I ended up pretending to be her, leaning in the bathroom and hollering the magic phrase in English. She finally got it and we repeated it a dozen times to get the words in the right order and the pronunciation correct.
Today I was sitting in the lunchroom waiting for my lunch to warm up when the squat little senora walked in and went to the bathroom door and hollered her inquiry – in fucking spanish. I just shook my head thinking about the time I wasted and right about then, she done me right and hollered it out in heavily accented English: “Hallo hallo, ees any mans sheeting een der?”
Johnny just shook his head and said “Fucking Kenny Lane…..” and went back to reading his reloading manual.
Whenever you don’t understand what they are saying, the response should be “Tu Madre is una Puta”.
So why don’t assimilate with them and learn Spanish?
It’s the American thing to do.
Unless you’re a racist bigot.
Or so I’ve been told.
In the Caribbean, they just don’t care. I was squattin’ on the pot in St. Kitts, and the stall door opens. This large black West Indian lady sticks out a new roll of toilet paper and says: “You be needin’ dis”.
The gaul of these criminals never ceases to amaze me.
We all need to be more ‘ preciative of the Beaner invasion. Public bathrooms used to never get cleaned ’cause ‘Mericans wouldn’t do that kind of work. If you’re under thirty years of age then you probably don’t realize that hotels and motels never existed before the Beaner invasion; couldn’t find any ‘Mericans to clean the rooms! And restaurants? The few that did exist had to use paper plates with plastic spoons/forks/knives. No respectable ‘Merican would take a job washing dishes. Fuck ya! More Beaners is what will keep ‘Merica great.
We need the Great Wall of Trump to keep ’em in!!
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and the work will set you free..
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flash, that cartoon depicts old Trump as a svelte figure that looks so much like JFK, it’s eerie.
Based on my limited experience Hispanics are the easiest to be around and work with and then Asians . I still make deliveries in los Angeles and I have never had any problems so far.
I certainly appreciate bathroom attendants. They are there to mop, spritz the air with febreeze and hand your a cloth towel to dry your hands.
Otherwise, community bathrooms suck. For some perverse reason, the janitorial contractor will always hire a loudmouth Mexican, Korean or Hawaiian woman.
Just as there are physical standards for ballerinas, swimmers, runners, (but not beauty queens, these can now have dicks, no problem)
there seems to be a standard for janitors; they must be loud, obnoxious and impertinent assholes that know when you are in the middle of shitting your brains out in the third stall.
bb, didn’t you say earlier that you had never seen or met a Hispanic and you were afraid for your life? I even had to assure you that I would not kill you (first).
El Coyote , that’s right but most of the Hispanics I deal with are usually at FedEx terminals so I know they have a security clearance. It’s almost impossible to get a job a FedEx if you have a felony conviction. I have noticed that the young Hispanic women speak the English language better than their male counterparts. Same with young Asian gals.
Or maybe, if my bros are anything like me, they have no interest in conversing with a male.
I have no idea of the context but I did say to the beautiful blonde, “I can’t imagine having a conversation with a guy that lasts more than 5 minutes.”
Unless we were talking about ass or tits, then I could talk to a guy for hours over a few beers.
For the record: I payed my way through college cleaning bathrooms. To this day, I exit every public bathroom no worse than when I entered it. I respect all janitors. Even the illegal Beaners.
EC, I once dated a pretty young Mexican girl who live in barrio in San Antonio. She always instructed me to meet her at a public place, usually Brackenridge Park . I offered to pick her up at home , but she told me that whites where not allowed in her neighborhood , which, being 19 , cocksure and daring of any one setting limits on what I wanted to do, became really pissed off. I rode her a little while on the issu ,and finally she caved and gave me directions to her house and the date was set.
I arrived to pick up up around dusk on a summers day. She was ready and didn’t waste time hopping in my car and off we flew. But, not before safely exiting the neighborhood.due to I seeign a convenience store that I whipped into for a six-pack. She immediately started demanding I leave NOW, but being the bad ass cock of the walk teenaged I was , I just laughed , exited the car, ambled into the store, picked up my beer and headed to the counter.
And that’s when I saw the cholos with their hairnets and untucked top buttoned shirts file in behind me. The first one who spoke asked me if I was some kinda bad ass or something for having the nerve to come into their neighborhood like I owned it .
.
Shit, they must have been 12 or more of these gang bangers and the only weapon i had was a Buick 110 , which was better than nothing, but the numbers were definetly not in my favor. So I kept my mouth shut, paid for the beer and moved out toward the car.
The cholos followed me out, and before I made it to the car, they had me surrounded.I’m in deep shit now I thought, but help was on the way. My little queen , who saw what was going on, or about to go on, jumped from the car and set a tongue blistering on those gangsters the likes I’ve not heard since. All in Spanish of course, so I hadn’t a clue what was said, but whatever it was , it worked and the posse that was about to kick my ass parted and allowed me access to the car and again off we flew.
I never went back to that neighborhood and afterwards that she cooled the thing we had going .Maybe for my own good I suppose.
The point of little story is that the traffic on Raciss Street flows both ways. And, I highly suspect the children of those gang bangers who begrudged me for simply stopping in their hood, have been indoctrinated with the same belief system that drove their fathers to choose the life they lived
We are our fathers children.
Good story, flash. Not one to make Billy happy, though.
We had an Eskimo girl in our class. She said she and her hubs were stationed somewhere in Colo. They went out to some fast food joint and pretty soon some cholos had them surrounded at their table. They wanted to know what he was doing with one of theirs. She explained that she’s Eskimo. Saved her hubs an ass stomping.
Most of this shit is teenage crap that went on a few years ago, it isn’t like that any more, unless your in the bad part of East LA.
The sexy mulatta asked me once, when I got the red ass over some dude and the girl he was with: “Do you want her for yourself?”
I guess those cholos were jealous of you, seeing as you had her and not them.
My first taste of Spain in January 1978 was standing at a urinal at the Madrid airport taking a leak.
Suddenly between my feet there was this something, and I almost added a shit to the leak as I was so startled.
Turns out it was a mop head wielded by a middle aged woman who I miraculously managed not to piss all over as I spun around in great haste to see what was happening down there.
She gave me a tongue lashing for peeing all over the floor, but was not even a little bit interested in the mighty red Python I was choking with both hands.
That was my welcome to Spain. That and all the Policia wandering al over the airport with sub machine guns in their hands. That was pretty scary.
LLPOH, what do you make of this poser called Mahtomedi? He claims to be1/8 Native American on his mother’s uncle’s side. He has yet to share his recipe for falafels.
Mahtomedi says: To this day, I exit every public bathroom no worse than when I entered it.
Good to know you don’t shit your pants, your mom must be pretty proud of the way she potty trained you.
“The point of little story is that the traffic on Raciss Street flows both ways. And, I highly suspect the children of those gang bangers who begrudged me for simply stopping in their hood, have been indoctrinated with the same belief system that drove their fathers to choose the life they lived”
I stopped here for gas once while visiting Detroit. Just plan on how you will kill every person at the station and all is well.
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@EL
I’m sorry that I now live rent-free in your head. Let’s move on. You dissed me a few months back and I had the audacity to reply to your ‘reply’. You leave intelligent and thought provoking comments here that I respect. Although…..
It is fun to ‘keyboard spar’ with a worthy opponent. If Admin allows, and it doesn’t distract from posts that have an important point to make, then I would be happy to continue to verbally kick your Beaner ass. We best ‘end it’ though.
At any rate, A whole bunch of us need to hit the ‘donate’ link here.
EC, she apparently knew these cats because they didn’t give her any shit and since they were already in the store, it’s doubtful they saw here in the car. That wasn;t the first time I was accosted by Mexican gang bangers. I hear from friends still living in Tejas that murder and assaults by members of Hispanic gangs is much much worse, than in the 80’s.
Mahto – stop being such a pussy. Kick some ass. Anything goes around here.
Admin allows it. Hell, truth be told he is the dirtiest, foulest, no ULDs barred street fighter on the site. Next to me of course.
Mahtomedi says: You dissed me a few months back and I had the audacity to reply to your ‘reply’.
I dis everybody, especially noobs. How the heck am I supposed to remember what I said? If you leave me an opening, I will go for it.
Let’s see some Indian pride, white boy.
@El dipshit
OK, injun pride it will be.
jumping in with both feet lol ! I could not imagine going to another country to live without learning the language , customs etc of the new home. I mean , I left my previous country because of some reason . So the new country must have something that is beneficial to me . If I relocate , I will learn a new culture, language etc.
Thus , it pisses me off to no end when someone who has immigrated , legally or illegally expects me to learn their fucking language !! Or their culture or anything else the PC police think I should spend time and money learning to accommodate others . Fuck em . Learn or go back to whatever shithole you were running from .
Best way to encourage assimilation: Behave or be hospitalized.
Refugees Go Clubbing In Russia, Harass Girls, Wake Up In Hospital The Next Morning
http://dailycaller.com/2016/02/04/refugees-go-clubbing-in-russia-harass-girls-wake-up-in-hospital-the-next-morning/