Who is the Bacon Aficionado here at TBP? How many chemicals would you have to add to eggplant to make it even resemble bacon?
http://knuckledraggin.com/2016/08/these-vegans-are-really-starting-to-piss-me-off/
Can a vegetable taste as good as crispy, freshly fried bacon? The answer for most people would be a resounding ‘no’. But many vegetarians and vegans have been searching for a meat-free …
Source: These vegans are really starting to piss me off | Knuckledraggin My Life Away
“Who is the Bacon Aficionado here at TBP? ” ——- Bunny Killer
Rhetorical question? If not …. it’s SSS.
I really like this comment someone made . …
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Yeah, you can get the taste of bacon from an eggplant but you’re gonna end up with something like microwaved bacon which is better than nothing – I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been that hard up. I tend to stockpile bacon.
See, what these motherfuckers are missing is the grease. Well drained bacon will still have a film of grease on it which gets transferred to your lips if you eat it right, unless you’re one of those freaks that don’t let their food touch their lips.
Oh! and the snap of that juicy fat when you pull it away from the lean… Oh yeah. Some folks like their bacon fried to a crisp and that’s okay I guess if you can’t cook bacon right. You just get used to it – shit, the human body can get used to anything, even fucked up bacon. By the way, if you need help on how properly cook bacon without burning it or your house down, go HERE for a tutorial I did on Knuckledraggin I back in 2009. Matter of fact, print it out and put it in your old lady’s cookbook. She’ll love ya for it.
But that’s why they’ll never master vegetable bacon. Besides, those motherfuckers knew they’d be making sacrifices when they went vegan, let ’em live with it.
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Although I STRONGLY disagree with — “Yeah, you can get the taste of bacon from an eggplant”.
Pure fucking bullshit!!! Probably more than anyone here, I have tasted every goddamned vegan/vegetarian meat-substitute concoction known to man … thanks to my vegan libtard seester. EVERY time she says; “You gotta taste this!! It tastes EXACTLY like meat!!!” This, from someone who hasn’t actually tasted meat in over 20 fucking years. Trust me, it all tastes like SHIT, and when my dad visits it’s all he can do to keep from vomiting the second that vile soy-whatthefuckever brew touches his lips.
Do you know there’s actually something called Bacon Jam? I have yet to try it. Here’s one recipe amongst many you can find on the net. Looks easy enough …
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Ingredients:
8 ounces thick-cut bacon, cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces
1/4 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
3 tablespoons packed dark brown sugar
3 cups low-sodium chicken broth or stock
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 teaspoon ground piment d’Espelette
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more as needed
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
Instructions
1. Place the bacon in a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until the fat has rendered and the bacon is starting to brown, about 10 to 15 minutes.
2. Add the onion, season with salt, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion has browned, about 5 minutes. Add the sugar and stir to combine.
3. Add 1 cup of the broth or stock and bring it to a simmer, scraping up the browned bits from the bottom of the pot. Continue to simmer, stirring occasionally, until the mixture has thickened and almost all of the liquid has evaporated, about 8 to 10 minutes.
4. Add 1 more cup of the broth or stock and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the mixture has thickened and almost all of the liquid has evaporated, about 8 to 10 minutes.
5. Add the remaining cup of broth or stock, honey, Espelette, measured salt, and black pepper and stir to combine.
6. Transfer the mixture to a blender and reserve the pot. Blend until smooth, removing the small cap from the blender lid (the pour lid) and covering the space with a kitchen towel (this allows steam to escape and prevents the lid from popping off).
7. Return the mixture to the reserved pot, place it over medium-high heat, and cook, stirring occasionally, until it’s reduced to about 1 1/2 cups, about 6 to 8 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the butter. (At this point, the bacon jam can be cooled to room temperature and refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks. Rewarm before using.)
Why go to all that trouble Stucky? Just go to TJ’s….
http://www.traderjoes.com/digin/post/uncured-bacon-jam
$4.49 per jar
They still haven’t rebuilt the TJ’s that was demolished by last winter’s storm. And the other one is too far away and always packed to the gills with people.
Besides that, there is that thingy call joy-of-cooking. Also, I have found that 99% of the time that home-made is better than store-bought.
Just last week I discovered how EASY it is to make marzipan. And because I can control the quality of the ingredients, and the ingredient portions (I increased the almond-meal content by 50%), it’s the best fucken marzipan I’ve ever had in my life. And I’ve consumed a lot of marzipan. Oh, one last thing Bea ….. it’s CHEAP to make compared to store bought. I made two pounds of it for the price of about 6 oz from the store.
Now I shall have to make me some marzipan.
I love to cook, as you know and I haven’t found many dishes I can’t figure out and make a tad bit better at home. Is the main reason Nick doesn’t take me out to dinner more often. Plus, he’s cheap. Why pay for dinner when you can marry the chef and never pay again?
Of course, there is “pay” and there is “Make Reparation”
I always plan to take you out to a fancy dinner at least once a month. I even save for it but the money keeps disappearing from my wallet!
My Mr. loves that uncured bacon, but it isn’t my favorite.
Bacon is a fabulous garnish, that’s for sure. Fake vegan foods
are a poor idea…too many additives and “processed” who
knows what. Further, too much soy is bad for men and women
hormone-wise. Plus, the soy in the US is f’n GMO. Now I am
hungry. We will have bacon on the weekend for sure. Oh, that
“jam” sounds interesting. Does it taste good?
Suzanna
If bacon jam is made correctly it is a little on the spicy side. I’m not sure young folks/ children would be excited about it but our crowd seems to love it.
I love a freshly baked buttermilk biscuit (like I make from scratch) with fresh creamy butter (which I make or buy Amish) and blackberry jam (which I make) on one side topped off with semi-crispy slices of bacon. The sweet and the salty… oh, dear Heavens. It burns so good.
Stuck-A half pound of non-Chinese quality uncured bacon will run $4.50- $5.00 here. But I like homemade things over store bought so I agree with you IF you are not using Chinese bacon or bacon with chemicals.
I’m betting that yours is much better than TJ’s.
Oh…the Chinese bought out US Smithfield, and they present
pork products under various labels. Unfort. the Chinese are
not known for quality food products. Too bad.
You know what you are never going to see? Someone trying to make a slab of bacon taste like eggplant.
That kind of tells you everything you need to know about these people.
If being a vegan is such a great idea, why are they always trying to turn one of their vegetables into something that resembles meat?
They makey no sensey.
Edit to add: I am making BLT’s right now and the pigs are out in the paddock making more bacon.
Pure gold comment.
Maggie – Try this sometime
Artisan 9 grain bread
Peanut butter
Crisp thick sliced Applewood bacon
Marionberry jam
Canned jalepeno pepper slices. approx. 4 slices (well drained and dried off)
Assemble sammich and grill like a grilled cheese until browned.
I’m gonna pass on the jalapeno, okay? I might try the grilled sammich though.
Awh heck Maggie…give the peppers a chance, YOLO. ?
It’s sandwich. Damn it, I hate it when people say edumacation and Jeebus. Idiots!
WTF is Marzipan?
Peaceout
You know those boxes of candy that each piece has the appearance of some type of fruit(cherry, peach, plum) that nobody buys? That’s marzipan.
Marzipan as typically sold …
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My homemade marzipan (basically almond meal, powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and egg whites) without chocolate covering or food coloring. (although I did roll mine in sesame seeds).
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So, you slice yours instead of putting it in fruit shapes?
We just got power back after being without it for the past 10 hours.
Since I always answer questions ….. yes, I roll it into a semi-log shape (flatten the bottom) and then just slice them, and then stick ’em in the freezer. They never actually freeze solid … not enough liquid in them, and, imho, they taste better when very cold.
https://youtu.be/GXhJPey3i_A
Ron Swanson on vegans …….. hahahahahahaha!!! Great stuff.
Marzipan is almond based candy. Kinda granular, but really unique and satisfying in small quantities.
Germans use it. It is a paste that can be molded, shaped and painted. XMas treat. Some in my family love it to the max. Me?
I don’t care for it at all. Actually, it is really just a decoration…
people spend days on their art, making the tiny painted fruits.
An edible decoration.
Ach du lieber!! A German who doesn’t love marzipan??? Say it ain’t so!! You anti-almondite.
One of my favorite snacks are the little gingerbread cookies made with almond meal. We got a bunch while we were in Nuremberg. Addictive little bastards.
The granularity comes from the powdered sugar. I modified the recipe I found by doubling the almond meal and halving the sugar ….. very almondy and un-granular. Yummy!! Oh, and it takes about 10 minutes from start to finish.
Bacon…heck I make my own. Cold smoked for 5or 6 hours…or more . Folks it’s easy..try it .
I love vegans….the come out into the field and then spend some time in my freezer as sausage,jerky and steaks . Bambi’s mom was yummy..his dad too. Thumper was even better in a pot of gravy .
Did yah’ ever notice that a lot of vegans look like they’re on deaths door ?
Allen Benton’s Bacon. Made the old fashioned way by hand from heirloom hogs. Git some!**
**Don’t let it be delivered to your porch unless you are home. Every stray dog for 10 miles will smell it!
I typically have 10-20 pounds of thick cut bacon in my deep freeze. Its a staple.
Also, one of my favorite dishes ever is Zwiebelkuchen. I don’t know what exact recipe my wife uses, but its damned divine. When the weather turns to fall she makes it a point to cook up some Deutch cuisine and keep a growler of fresh wheat beer in the fridge for me.
Speaking of which, I wish more companies distributed beer in pony kegs.
TPC, many breweries will fill 5 gallon Cornelius kegs for you. (old soda kegs) They seem to be transitioning to using their own 1/6th barrel kegs these days which is still 5 gallons plus you don’t have to do the cleaning and sterilizing yourself. (a pony keg is 7.75 gallons)
I have my own kegerator which is just a fridge I modified to hold up to eight 1/6th barrel kegs with rear sealing Perlick faucets that come through the door. Visit your local breweries to find the beer you like or contact the various distributors to see what is available in your area. I typically call ahead to various breweries on my planned route during road trips to see who will fill a Corny for me. I stop and sample their beers and leave a keg behind to be filled then pick it up on the way home. One wrap of that mylar coated bubble wrap will keep it good and cold for the ride home! Life is to short to live without good beer!
This is the best thing I have ever read ever.
The innerwebz is your friend when it comes to building your own. Chances are you can find one on Craigslist too! If you do build your own you definitely want Perlick rear sealing faucets. You can even use one of those small college dorm fridges, just verity there is enough vertical room inside.
Mine looks like this on the outside but mine has eight faucets (the ones pictured are not Perlick):
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And this on the inside (roughly):
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So much for the “Live and Let Live” great “American” ideal here.
“The Vegans” are NOT suggesting you give up your bacon, but just trying out new ideas, so why all the “Anti-Vegan” rhetoric??
Something to do with the VERY well-documented fact that they’ll live an average of 15 years more than you meat-eaters perhaps (and will have far less problems associated with cured / processed / barbecued meat consumption – colorectal cancer and many renal cancers being the most obvious).
I dare you all to try it. You might just like it (as I found when I tried it).
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Bullshit, Phil. I never met a vegan who wasn’t sickly as well as mentally ill, and the ones who work with my wife always have respiratory infections and digestive problems. Vegans are dying on their feet, despite all the media hype about how healthy their diet is.
15 years longer lives my ass.
My Irish friend suggest this bacon substitute called “Quorn.”
Phil from Oz
That looks good….what brand is it and what is it made of?
We get ours from a very local supplier – a real “Cottage Industry” type. I will find out details from The Mrs and post in due course!
Thanks for the Marzipan education, I think I will stick with Bacon.
Maggie- thanks for the fun thread. I am amazed at how many threads end up being about bacon.
It’s all about the bacon. Forget PMs, hoard bacon.
[img]https://ixquick-proxy.com/do/spg/show_picture.pl?l=english&rais=1&oiu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quorn.co.uk%2F%7E%2Fmedia%2FQuorn%2FProducts%2FFull%2Fbacon-style-rashers.ashx&sp=6276641e882a1e88557e68e0fea62eae[/img]
This is a picture of a Quorn meat alternative breakfast. My Irish pal assures me it is quite delicious and tastes just like real meat if you eat tomato slices with it.
I’ll eat the bacon and skip the tomato.
This would be cute staged in a big cast-iron skillet!
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Who cares!?!
As long as they’re not trying to make the rest of us give up real bacon. Hell, my dog eats beggin strips… I don’t hold it against her.
My guess is that 90% of vegans are progressives and global warmers. They are not as tolerant of meat eaters as we are of them. Be prepared to eat grass and leaves while sweating because there is no air conditioning in the summerand eating hay in winter while huddling together for warmth.