LLPOH’s gone soft. He actually hopes Iravani will poke him.
Wip
January 16, 2018 11:26 am
Who you callin old, bitch?
Anonymous
January 16, 2018 11:27 am
With far more days behind me than I have ahead of me, I find I have less and less to loose and almost nothing left to prove to myself or others on top of it.
That makes me dangerous, don’t fuck with me.
Welshman
January 16, 2018 11:34 am
Ditto Anon,
I have it all, not showing it off, and don’t FUCK with me. Happy New Year TBP.
Dysmas The Thief
January 16, 2018 11:43 am
That description is on the button. Had a run in last year with a guy during a road rage incident. Guy came up to my window and was screaming, totally unhinged. I told him “Sorry if I upset ya. At my age I have no ill feelings towards anyone. Look, I’m no bad ass. No one in their late 60s is. There’s no way I can or want to fight you physically. But I’ll damn sure kill you if you fuck with me. A life sentence for me is 5 to 10 years.” He just turned and walked backed to his car. In hindsight I guess he thought I might have had a gun in the car.
MadMike
January 16, 2018 11:44 am
If you find yourself in a “fair fight” your training and tactics suck.
I was thinking the same thing! I wondered where I could get my hands on a good scythe, then realized I could do better! I know where there is a functioning STILL. I could sit with it holding a jug….
oh, the possibilities.
I am the daughter of a man who had returned from POW camp in Japan in 1948 alive and whole and eventually lived to be 93 years old give or take a few months. I took this photo when he was on a tractor in the local parade, driving an antique John Deere he maintained just for “show.” I really should edit this photo and get rid of that pansy in front wearing those dead giveaway shorts.
It may be more fair to say “ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF what MANY TBPers think of themselves”.
I am not much of a fighter. The sentiment accurately describes me, but I don’t really know for sure how much hurt I could actually inflict, not because of effort or intent, just lack of skills. I like to think I would go for eye gouging or ball kicking and not get into a fair fight, but it has been years since I even pretended to be in any sort of physical confrontation. I can only speak for myself, obviously, but I’m guessing that many of us think we are more of a badass than we actually are.
I’m not saying that I wouldn’t put up a fight and wouldn’t hesitate to fight dirty. I am just questioning my lack of fitness and training in preparation for having the best chances for a positive outcome for me.
I like my knives for their purpose, but for protection a gun is best. What I think is the real “tell” on this TBP stereotype is the complete lack of grumpy old women. Meh.
Stay off my lawn.
[img[/img]
Blessings Mary.
Diogenes
January 16, 2018 12:38 pm
Yep, applies to me except I don’t drink alcohol anymore, but the coffee sounds good. An old fucker crying in the wilderness.
This, by the way, in my opinion, might be worth its own post with a reQuest for “Title and dialogue” submissions.
Anyone up for the Quest?
I ended up on one of those sights reading some of the Q dialogue, if you can call it dialogue. OR dialog. Not sure anymore.
However, I do like the idea of Sisyphus saying Eff It, Let’s Roll.
Suds
January 16, 2018 2:55 pm
One of my best friends said that, about us being at an age where more enjoyment, and less drama is wanted. Drama in his book is dealing with aggravating personalities & bitching. Confrontation that can lead to violence is different.
My buddy is 6′ 2″ & weighs 260. He rarely gets fucked with. I however, am not so fortunate, so tend to be non confrontational. But if cornered with no other option, packing levels the playing field. Those arrogant dicks that push to kick some ass for no good reason…if they’re not careful, they could lose, even if they win round 1.
Gordie Howe I believe once said revenge is a sweet fruit, but sometimes one has to give it time to ripen. That’s my definition of the dangers of fuckin w anybody.
22winmag - The South was Right (and slavery would have ended through legislation not war in the years to come, so don't give me that shit) What happened to places like Rhodesia and safe spaces for white folks? What comes next?
January 16, 2018 4:31 pm
“Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.”
Llpoh
January 16, 2018 4:44 pm
I have known a great many dangerous old coots. They would indeed kill you if you fucked with them. I knew a large number of DustBowl Okies. They grew up harder than most people would ever know. They struggled to survive. And they were not going to take a backward step. They were not mean, and quietly went about their business of trying to make a living. They all carried knives, and had a range of guns in their vehicles or on their persons, the law be damned.
They might lose, but they would go down fighting – biting, clawing, knives, guns, bricks, rocks, iron bars. Anything was fair. I saw it personally go down a couple of times, and truth be told I do not know if the screwer survived. Both times the screwer was left bloodied and entirely motionless. And their pleas of “I have had enough, mister” were unheeded. They should have thought of that before they messed with the old Okie. Quarter was not given.
I mention some of these things from time to time. These tidbits give a bit of insight into who I am. You can take the Ivy League Indian out of the Dust Bowl, but you cannot take the Dust Bowl out of the Ivy League Indian. I was raised to not step backward, ever. The beating I would have got from my father would have been far worse than the occasional ass kicking I got from the odd band of bullies.
I remember a fight I had with a much older and bigger boy. I was getting my ass kicked. Then I bit a big chunk out of his arm, and the tide turned. I hurt that kid pretty bad, and his father came running to break it up. My dad was there. He told the guy to let it be, that your kid started it and picked on the wrong smaller boy, and was getting what he had coming. The father very wisely backed off. That was the best decision that guy ever made. A wrong decision there would have had severe consequences. People in that neighborhood left me alone after that.
Another time, something similar happened. A bully went after me. Much older and bigger. I left him pretty bloodied up. His dad showed up at our house, the kid in tow, demanding to see the kid that had done that to his son. My dad answered the door, and called me to come. When the father saw how much smaller and younger I was, he apologized for troubling us, and began wailing on his son as he walked away. Guess he did not like having a pussy bully for a son.
So, that is some background on why I am who I am. My upbringing was not very genteel. And I carry that base aggression with me. That is who I am. I long ago quit trying to change that.
I scrolled past this enough times to finally give in my my baser urges. LLPOH’s starring roll here eventually led to his leaving the tribal lands for the outback of Australia, where he declared himself to be Sovereign Man Down Under, Lord of the Wallabies and Roos.
Fantastic story Lipoh. My old man was a M/Sgt. 82 Airborne WWII. These were men with a capital fucking M and they didn’t play….at anything. I’ve memories and stories galore about these men. Not just my old man but our neighbors and his friends. There’s not a day goes by I don’t think of them. And there’s not a day goes by I don’t thank God for having been raised by such a Man.
Dysmas – most folks really have never been exposed to these sorts. I am not putting them on a pedestal. Some were not very good people. But they tended to mind their business and wanted just to be left alone to live out their days. No, these guys did not play. The things I know that happened is far away from common experience. They need to be left alone.
all but me
January 16, 2018 5:09 pm
it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Read the Boca Knights series of books, I have that same disease, it’s called Intermittent Explosive Disorder, when I get angry I see red and black dots and flashes and then someone is trying to pull me off of a larger bully while I try to beat their head in because I am fearless when roused. Also the sequence in A Christmas Story movie where Ralphie finally whales on the bully and absolutely will not stop..
WTF is kind of word is whales or wails? The closest I can find is wale – which is the stripe left by a rod.
Boat Guy
January 16, 2018 5:40 pm
The statement applies , I have beaten a deadly illness to a respectable degree and wish to be left alone to my own devices and pursuits ! I know that ever present “THEY” will not leave me alone so I will fight back as much as possible since I cannot run much any more please don’t provoke me and I will not provoke you . Self defense remains one of my strong suits . I will eventually lose but not without a fight ,somebody will be hurting in the morning . If they wake up ?
Llpoh
January 16, 2018 5:54 pm
My little brother is an absolute savant at improvising weapons in a fight. I do not know if he has ever lost a fight, such are his skills.
Once he was getting his ass royally kicked in a cafe. He went down, and came up with a glass salt shaker. His opponent was out cold moments later. Another time he was able to grab up a Bic pen. He put about a gazillion holes in the other guy. Pool balls have come into play (I think a pool ball is far more formidable than a cue stick.) . Full can of opened beer was used another time. He is infinitely inventive. He has a tremendous survival instinct.
The lesson there is that if you do not want your ass kicked, there is always something nearby to use to prevent it.
Llpoh, your stories remind me of an article I read by a somewhat known writer, but I can’t remember his name right now. I think I read the article in Playboy, 30-35 years ago.
Yeah, I looked at the pictures too, but I digress.
This writer wrote about the experience of getting your ass whipped when it was unexpected.
He told of a cross county road trip, and was hungry, so he pulled into a cafe for some brekky, not realizing he’d stopped in the middle of a reservation.
Upon walking in, he had multiple sets of eyes on him, but brushed it off and took a seat expecting to be waited on.
He said an Indian with only one leg and an improvised prosthetic peg leg hobbled up to him and gruffly asked him: “What do you want?”
He started to say he didn’t want any trouble but was just hungry, and…
“What the ____ do you WANT?” was again asked.
So he says: “Six eggs, scrambled, some bacon, and toast, and coffee.”
The Indian reaches over to some leftover dirty plates from the next booth with some eggs still left, and says: “There’s your eggs. Eat ’em.”
When the writer started to protest, he was met with a flurry of punches to the head he couldn’t get away from fast enough, and tried to crawl out the door to safety, but the one-leg hopped after him, pummeling his ass all the way out the door.”
End lesson: You get a whole new perspective on life, after having the living shit beat out of you, after being cocky and arrogant toward strangers in places you’re not welcome.
The lesson wasn’t lost on me. I’ve walked into places, and when you get that vibe, sometimes it’s best to just move along to another spot, leaving some folks be.
-LaGeR
AlsoTrapped
January 16, 2018 5:59 pm
Definition of whale
whaled; whaling
transitive verb
1 : lash, thrash
2 : to strike or hit vigorously
3 : to defeat soundly
Haha, we used to play dictionary at break time. Picture a bunch of smart (ass) guys making up stuff just like you just made up.
Anonymous
January 16, 2018 6:40 pm
noun, plural whales (especially collectively) whale.
1.
any of the larger marine mammals of the order Cetacea, especially as distinguished from the smaller dolphins and porpoises, having a fishlike body, forelimbs modified into flippers, and a head that is horizontally flattened.
2.
Informal. something big, great, or fine of its kind:
I had a whale of a time in Europe.
3.
(initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Cetus.
verb (used without object), whaled, whaling.
4.
to engage in whaling or whale fishing.
Llpoh
January 16, 2018 7:06 pm
Wailed on or whaled on are both acceptable per urban dictionary. It means to kick someone’s ass. “He wailed on that other guy”.
Obviously, some pussies around here have neither wailed on someone or been wailed on. That is no way to go through life. Getting your ass kicked is a great educational experience. But once that education is received, it is better to do the kicking.
Here is the basic secrets to being the kicker and not the kickee:
1) always throw the first punch. That is the golden rule. All other rules are minor rules.
2) learn the hold and hit technique for throwing the first punch. Reach out with the left hand and grab the guy by the shirt just under the chin, while simultaneously drawing back the right hand. Throw the punch over the top of the left that is holding the shirt, simultaneously pulling the left toward you to increase power of the punch. Follow that first punch up with a bunch more. If the first punch is done right, the opponent is out on their feet and just needs the polishing up. I have never lost a fight where I was able to implement this technique, which was almost every fight after I was a kid. In fact, I was never even hit, not once, when using this technique.
3) Never follow someone outside. If someone says let’s take it outside, that is the cue to use the first punch technique. The battle needs to be fought on your terms, not his.
4) fighting fair is not an option. Getting your ass kicked can be fatal. You need to win. Biting, kicking, nut squeezing, eye gouging, etc., are all fair play. You will come to believe that once you have had your ass well kicked.
5) there are always weapons to be found. I have listed a few already. I have never resorted to lethal weapon, but if circumstances are dire enough, everything is in play. If the other guy has a lethal weapon, running is generally a pretty good option.
6) I believe backward steps in fact draw more problems than taking a n backward step policy.
That about covers the basics. And if nothing else, remember rule 1) always throw the first punch. That is critical.
I am left handed so my first poke is always a sucker punch. After I got the shit beat out of me a couple of times I dispensed with nice and followed your rules lloph. They work great and would still use them today. If I had to…
Gotta say one of the best things in life is punching some buddy that wants to hurt you real hard. First..
Thank you, LLPOH. May I elevate your status to El Doggy’s level – Sensei?
It would save many a noob the time wasted learning to admit you are right.
EC
At 68 my hundred yard dash is down to about 40 yards but I only weigh 15 pounds more then I did 50 years ago. I work at it. Power walk, push ups, light weights and work on my core, and you have to hit the heavy bag if you want to retain your punching snap, power and memory…use it or loose it.
I enjoyed this Post blurb (except I sip vodka) and the comments. If threatened I’m more dangerous now then ever…but I don’t go to the dangerous places I use to and my brawling howling days are long over. However, 9mm always on me, .45 under the front seat, and either a folded 9mm Kel Tec 2000 in a bag in the trunk with 10 15 round mags or now the new Mossberg Shockwave 20 gauge with five shells on a saddle. Always have a fighting knife on me.
My Father had a saying: “Walk your post from flank to flank and take no shit off any rank.”
Anonymous
January 17, 2018 9:30 am
brekky, that gets added to the term – addy.
I’m larning some English up in here.
Stucky
January 17, 2018 10:59 am
Are you prepared to cause Great Physical Harm to the person you are about to fight? Even if it means you could wind up in jail?
Are you willing to use anything at your disposal to injure the person you are about to fight … bottles,sticks, knives,chairs, whatever.
Are you willing to permanently injure your opponent … perhaps even killing him (because he may fight even “dirtier” than you)?
If you can’t answer “yes” to all the above questions then walk away. You’re not a serious fighter. You’re a putz. And, sometimes, that’s ok.
You don’t suppose the Curse of the Waschbär is real do you?
In fact, it would have been a real curse if those animals had made themselves at home in the castle.
Maggie
January 17, 2018 12:10 pm
I prefer just being annoying, like the chigger bite on the ass of the big dogs here.
Bite and scratch all you can, doggies, you can’t catch me, I’m the ….oh shit.
El Coyote, you are right. I just do NOT have the knack for it.
I came up with WonderWo MAN, which is very, very queer.
Then, looking for other three syllable words to follow the rhythm of gingerbread (in case you are truly a Moran.)… Hummingbird, Applecore, whatsthescore, hereformore… crap. I give up.
On ebonics, and brekky, we had a morning radio guy impressionist who used to run a skit called ‘Learn to spell with Darnell.’
“Today’s word is omelette.”
“Let’s use in a sentence.”
“I oughtta bust a cap in yo ass’ for dissin’ me, but omelette dis one pass”
LLPOH’s gone soft. He actually hopes Iravani will poke him.
Who you callin old, bitch?
With far more days behind me than I have ahead of me, I find I have less and less to loose and almost nothing left to prove to myself or others on top of it.
That makes me dangerous, don’t fuck with me.
Ditto Anon,
I have it all, not showing it off, and don’t FUCK with me. Happy New Year TBP.
That description is on the button. Had a run in last year with a guy during a road rage incident. Guy came up to my window and was screaming, totally unhinged. I told him “Sorry if I upset ya. At my age I have no ill feelings towards anyone. Look, I’m no bad ass. No one in their late 60s is. There’s no way I can or want to fight you physically. But I’ll damn sure kill you if you fuck with me. A life sentence for me is 5 to 10 years.” He just turned and walked backed to his car. In hindsight I guess he thought I might have had a gun in the car.
If you find yourself in a “fair fight” your training and tactics suck.
[img
[/img]
The grin reaper?
I was going to say “Grinning Reaper” and suggest to HSF that grumpy old man and middle-aged leering pervert are not really interchangeable.
You misunderstand, the farmer in a fedora is grinning to think of Maggie swinging the scythe. She can’t cut it, she can’t even hit the 100 marks…
I thought HF was pulling a Maggie posting random selfies. In fact, he is demonstrating his self-defense strategy.
I was thinking the same thing! I wondered where I could get my hands on a good scythe, then realized I could do better! I know where there is a functioning STILL. I could sit with it holding a jug….
oh, the possibilities.
I am the daughter of a man who had returned from POW camp in Japan in 1948 alive and whole and eventually lived to be 93 years old give or take a few months. I took this photo when he was on a tractor in the local parade, driving an antique John Deere he maintained just for “show.” I really should edit this photo and get rid of that pansy in front wearing those dead giveaway shorts.
QOTD, Stucky: “What Year is This?”
[img
[/img]
Judging from the rear end of that car … and those godaweful bumpers, I would guess somewhere in the late 70s – early 80s. I go with 1981.
1972
It may be more fair to say “ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF what MANY TBPers think of themselves”.
I am not much of a fighter. The sentiment accurately describes me, but I don’t really know for sure how much hurt I could actually inflict, not because of effort or intent, just lack of skills. I like to think I would go for eye gouging or ball kicking and not get into a fair fight, but it has been years since I even pretended to be in any sort of physical confrontation. I can only speak for myself, obviously, but I’m guessing that many of us think we are more of a badass than we actually are.
I guess I need to prepare better.
TJF
You underestimate yourself… fear is the workshop of atrocity.
I’m not saying that I wouldn’t put up a fight and wouldn’t hesitate to fight dirty. I am just questioning my lack of fitness and training in preparation for having the best chances for a positive outcome for me.
True enough. I am much the same. Gettin’ old too!
I take it you don’t carry a knife or a gun?
I carry both, the knife (actually two of them) being the preferred choice but the gun for times when I’m in a hurry.
I like my knives for their purpose, but for protection a gun is best. What I think is the real “tell” on this TBP stereotype is the complete lack of grumpy old women. Meh.
Stay off my lawn.
[img
[/img]
Blessings Mary.
Yep, applies to me except I don’t drink alcohol anymore, but the coffee sounds good. An old fucker crying in the wilderness.
Fuck’n -A, tweety bird.
One minute. Enjoy.
This, by the way, in my opinion, might be worth its own post with a reQuest for “Title and dialogue” submissions.
Anyone up for the Quest?
I ended up on one of those sights reading some of the Q dialogue, if you can call it dialogue. OR dialog. Not sure anymore.
However, I do like the idea of Sisyphus saying Eff It, Let’s Roll.
One of my best friends said that, about us being at an age where more enjoyment, and less drama is wanted. Drama in his book is dealing with aggravating personalities & bitching. Confrontation that can lead to violence is different.
My buddy is 6′ 2″ & weighs 260. He rarely gets fucked with. I however, am not so fortunate, so tend to be non confrontational. But if cornered with no other option, packing levels the playing field. Those arrogant dicks that push to kick some ass for no good reason…if they’re not careful, they could lose, even if they win round 1.
Gordie Howe I believe once said revenge is a sweet fruit, but sometimes one has to give it time to ripen. That’s my definition of the dangers of fuckin w anybody.
“Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.”
I have known a great many dangerous old coots. They would indeed kill you if you fucked with them. I knew a large number of DustBowl Okies. They grew up harder than most people would ever know. They struggled to survive. And they were not going to take a backward step. They were not mean, and quietly went about their business of trying to make a living. They all carried knives, and had a range of guns in their vehicles or on their persons, the law be damned.
They might lose, but they would go down fighting – biting, clawing, knives, guns, bricks, rocks, iron bars. Anything was fair. I saw it personally go down a couple of times, and truth be told I do not know if the screwer survived. Both times the screwer was left bloodied and entirely motionless. And their pleas of “I have had enough, mister” were unheeded. They should have thought of that before they messed with the old Okie. Quarter was not given.
I mention some of these things from time to time. These tidbits give a bit of insight into who I am. You can take the Ivy League Indian out of the Dust Bowl, but you cannot take the Dust Bowl out of the Ivy League Indian. I was raised to not step backward, ever. The beating I would have got from my father would have been far worse than the occasional ass kicking I got from the odd band of bullies.
I remember a fight I had with a much older and bigger boy. I was getting my ass kicked. Then I bit a big chunk out of his arm, and the tide turned. I hurt that kid pretty bad, and his father came running to break it up. My dad was there. He told the guy to let it be, that your kid started it and picked on the wrong smaller boy, and was getting what he had coming. The father very wisely backed off. That was the best decision that guy ever made. A wrong decision there would have had severe consequences. People in that neighborhood left me alone after that.
Another time, something similar happened. A bully went after me. Much older and bigger. I left him pretty bloodied up. His dad showed up at our house, the kid in tow, demanding to see the kid that had done that to his son. My dad answered the door, and called me to come. When the father saw how much smaller and younger I was, he apologized for troubling us, and began wailing on his son as he walked away. Guess he did not like having a pussy bully for a son.
So, that is some background on why I am who I am. My upbringing was not very genteel. And I carry that base aggression with me. That is who I am. I long ago quit trying to change that.
That was Llpoh then. This is the new sensitive Llpoh.
Why do I recall the story that Iron Eyes Cody was actually an Italian dude?
Because he WAS an Italian dude. He made a life impersonating an Amerind.
Hey, what can I say. I love old dogs, children and watermelon wine.
I scrolled past this enough times to finally give in my my baser urges. LLPOH’s starring roll here eventually led to his leaving the tribal lands for the outback of Australia, where he declared himself to be Sovereign Man Down Under, Lord of the Wallabies and Roos.
Fantastic story Lipoh. My old man was a M/Sgt. 82 Airborne WWII. These were men with a capital fucking M and they didn’t play….at anything. I’ve memories and stories galore about these men. Not just my old man but our neighbors and his friends. There’s not a day goes by I don’t think of them. And there’s not a day goes by I don’t thank God for having been raised by such a Man.
BTW Admin: LMAO.
Dysmas – most folks really have never been exposed to these sorts. I am not putting them on a pedestal. Some were not very good people. But they tended to mind their business and wanted just to be left alone to live out their days. No, these guys did not play. The things I know that happened is far away from common experience. They need to be left alone.
it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Read the Boca Knights series of books, I have that same disease, it’s called Intermittent Explosive Disorder, when I get angry I see red and black dots and flashes and then someone is trying to pull me off of a larger bully while I try to beat their head in because I am fearless when roused. Also the sequence in A Christmas Story movie where Ralphie finally whales on the bully and absolutely will not stop..
WTF is kind of word is whales or wails? The closest I can find is wale – which is the stripe left by a rod.
The statement applies , I have beaten a deadly illness to a respectable degree and wish to be left alone to my own devices and pursuits ! I know that ever present “THEY” will not leave me alone so I will fight back as much as possible since I cannot run much any more please don’t provoke me and I will not provoke you . Self defense remains one of my strong suits . I will eventually lose but not without a fight ,somebody will be hurting in the morning . If they wake up ?
My little brother is an absolute savant at improvising weapons in a fight. I do not know if he has ever lost a fight, such are his skills.
Once he was getting his ass royally kicked in a cafe. He went down, and came up with a glass salt shaker. His opponent was out cold moments later. Another time he was able to grab up a Bic pen. He put about a gazillion holes in the other guy. Pool balls have come into play (I think a pool ball is far more formidable than a cue stick.) . Full can of opened beer was used another time. He is infinitely inventive. He has a tremendous survival instinct.
The lesson there is that if you do not want your ass kicked, there is always something nearby to use to prevent it.
Llpoh, your stories remind me of an article I read by a somewhat known writer, but I can’t remember his name right now. I think I read the article in Playboy, 30-35 years ago.
Yeah, I looked at the pictures too, but I digress.
This writer wrote about the experience of getting your ass whipped when it was unexpected.
He told of a cross county road trip, and was hungry, so he pulled into a cafe for some brekky, not realizing he’d stopped in the middle of a reservation.
Upon walking in, he had multiple sets of eyes on him, but brushed it off and took a seat expecting to be waited on.
He said an Indian with only one leg and an improvised prosthetic peg leg hobbled up to him and gruffly asked him: “What do you want?”
He started to say he didn’t want any trouble but was just hungry, and…
“What the ____ do you WANT?” was again asked.
So he says: “Six eggs, scrambled, some bacon, and toast, and coffee.”
The Indian reaches over to some leftover dirty plates from the next booth with some eggs still left, and says: “There’s your eggs. Eat ’em.”
When the writer started to protest, he was met with a flurry of punches to the head he couldn’t get away from fast enough, and tried to crawl out the door to safety, but the one-leg hopped after him, pummeling his ass all the way out the door.”
End lesson: You get a whole new perspective on life, after having the living shit beat out of you, after being cocky and arrogant toward strangers in places you’re not welcome.
The lesson wasn’t lost on me. I’ve walked into places, and when you get that vibe, sometimes it’s best to just move along to another spot, leaving some folks be.
-LaGeR
Definition of whale
whaled; whaling
transitive verb
1 : lash, thrash
2 : to strike or hit vigorously
3 : to defeat soundly
Haha, we used to play dictionary at break time. Picture a bunch of smart (ass) guys making up stuff just like you just made up.
noun, plural whales (especially collectively) whale.
1.
any of the larger marine mammals of the order Cetacea, especially as distinguished from the smaller dolphins and porpoises, having a fishlike body, forelimbs modified into flippers, and a head that is horizontally flattened.
2.
Informal. something big, great, or fine of its kind:
I had a whale of a time in Europe.
3.
(initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Cetus.
verb (used without object), whaled, whaling.
4.
to engage in whaling or whale fishing.
Wailed on or whaled on are both acceptable per urban dictionary. It means to kick someone’s ass. “He wailed on that other guy”.
Obviously, some pussies around here have neither wailed on someone or been wailed on. That is no way to go through life. Getting your ass kicked is a great educational experience. But once that education is received, it is better to do the kicking.
Here is the basic secrets to being the kicker and not the kickee:
1) always throw the first punch. That is the golden rule. All other rules are minor rules.
2) learn the hold and hit technique for throwing the first punch. Reach out with the left hand and grab the guy by the shirt just under the chin, while simultaneously drawing back the right hand. Throw the punch over the top of the left that is holding the shirt, simultaneously pulling the left toward you to increase power of the punch. Follow that first punch up with a bunch more. If the first punch is done right, the opponent is out on their feet and just needs the polishing up. I have never lost a fight where I was able to implement this technique, which was almost every fight after I was a kid. In fact, I was never even hit, not once, when using this technique.
3) Never follow someone outside. If someone says let’s take it outside, that is the cue to use the first punch technique. The battle needs to be fought on your terms, not his.
4) fighting fair is not an option. Getting your ass kicked can be fatal. You need to win. Biting, kicking, nut squeezing, eye gouging, etc., are all fair play. You will come to believe that once you have had your ass well kicked.
5) there are always weapons to be found. I have listed a few already. I have never resorted to lethal weapon, but if circumstances are dire enough, everything is in play. If the other guy has a lethal weapon, running is generally a pretty good option.
6) I believe backward steps in fact draw more problems than taking a n backward step policy.
That about covers the basics. And if nothing else, remember rule 1) always throw the first punch. That is critical.
I am left handed so my first poke is always a sucker punch. After I got the shit beat out of me a couple of times I dispensed with nice and followed your rules lloph. They work great and would still use them today. If I had to…
Gotta say one of the best things in life is punching some buddy that wants to hurt you real hard. First..
Thank you, LLPOH. May I elevate your status to El Doggy’s level – Sensei?
It would save many a noob the time wasted learning to admit you are right.
EC
At 77, I just don’t give a fuck what you think.
Good for you Dave. I’ll steer clear of your lawn.
At 68 my hundred yard dash is down to about 40 yards but I only weigh 15 pounds more then I did 50 years ago. I work at it. Power walk, push ups, light weights and work on my core, and you have to hit the heavy bag if you want to retain your punching snap, power and memory…use it or loose it.
I enjoyed this Post blurb (except I sip vodka) and the comments. If threatened I’m more dangerous now then ever…but I don’t go to the dangerous places I use to and my brawling howling days are long over. However, 9mm always on me, .45 under the front seat, and either a folded 9mm Kel Tec 2000 in a bag in the trunk with 10 15 round mags or now the new Mossberg Shockwave 20 gauge with five shells on a saddle. Always have a fighting knife on me.
My Father had a saying: “Walk your post from flank to flank and take no shit off any rank.”
brekky, that gets added to the term – addy.
I’m larning some English up in here.
Are you prepared to cause Great Physical Harm to the person you are about to fight? Even if it means you could wind up in jail?
Are you willing to use anything at your disposal to injure the person you are about to fight … bottles,sticks, knives,chairs, whatever.
Are you willing to permanently injure your opponent … perhaps even killing him (because he may fight even “dirtier” than you)?
If you can’t answer “yes” to all the above questions then walk away. You’re not a serious fighter. You’re a putz. And, sometimes, that’s ok.
Stuck, I am officially a putz. Although I can inflict great pain here using bad language.
EC
You forgot 2 x 4s in your list of weapons.
Rest in peace little waschbär, rest in peace.
You don’t suppose the Curse of the Waschbär is real do you?
In fact, it would have been a real curse if those animals had made themselves at home in the castle.
I prefer just being annoying, like the chigger bite on the ass of the big dogs here.
Bite and scratch all you can, doggies, you can’t catch me, I’m the ….oh shit.
El Coyote, you are right. I just do NOT have the knack for it.
I came up with WonderWo MAN, which is very, very queer.
Then, looking for other three syllable words to follow the rhythm of gingerbread (in case you are truly a Moran.)… Hummingbird, Applecore, whatsthescore, hereformore… crap. I give up.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. Will Rogers
Try the Ebonics dictionary, Maggita
Butthurt much?
On ebonics, and brekky, we had a morning radio guy impressionist who used to run a skit called ‘Learn to spell with Darnell.’
“Today’s word is omelette.”
“Let’s use in a sentence.”
“I oughtta bust a cap in yo ass’ for dissin’ me, but omelette dis one pass”