Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter
The Congressional GOP, in its finite wisdom, has taken a look at the Democrats blowing their Blue Wave and decided that the smart play to exploit their unexpected (and undeserved) improving prospects by embracing the exact opposite of what the militant Normals sent them to Washington to do because…because they are establishment Republicans and stupid is what they do.
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These geniuses have considered all the possible ways to use the limited legislative time available to implement a conservative agenda and decided that the big legislative priority during the ramp-up to the midterms must be handing citizenship to a bunch of future Democrats who shouldn’t even be here in the first place – and all over the thunderous objections of GOP voters. Paul Ryan’s eager to bring it up again because he’s super savvy in some alternate universe, and if he won’t, the Squish Squad wants to force a vote on comprehensive immigration capitulation via a discharge petition they would sign in collaboration with the Democrats.
Well, discharge this, jerks.
Apparently, we’ve been unclear about where we GOP voters stand on this issue, so let me clarify it for you members of the Congressional Nitwit Caucus.
No freaking amnesty.
No amnesty.
None.
No “comprehensive reforms.”
No compromises.
No amnesty.
But the aspiring valedictorians of DACA…
No! Deport them!
But the children!
No! Deport them!
But Jesus says…
No! Deport them! And stop trying to Jesusplain immigration at us!
But our rich RINO donors want a never-ending stream of cheap labor that is terrified to speak up and is therefore pliable, unlike you uppity citizens who they would actually have to pay a decent wage…
No! Deport them!
What is this fascination with allowing foreigners who have disrespected our laws to jump the line ahead of the aspiring Americans who played by the rules? Why are the GOP Fredocons so set on ignoring their own voters’ repeated howls of protest? We know why the Democrats do it – Normal Americans have grown angry (some might say militant) and refuse to obey their liberal betters, and therefore they must be replaced by an imported electorate that knows its place.
But the Republicans? What’s their excuse? Why are Congressional Republicans so much more effective at implementing the liberal agenda than the Democrats are? Why do they insist on risking electoral suicide time and time again by trying to jam amnesty down our throats after we keep telling them to jam it elsewhere?
We get why the Chamber of Commerce types want amnesty. They love the idea of a serf class whom they can pay pennies and then let us make up the difference through the social spending we have to shell out because these robber barons won’t pay their coolies’ full freight. Five years ago, illegals cost us taxpayers over $134 billion with a “B,” all so the Paul Ryan Party can please its corporate masters, and so Chuck Schumer’s crew can get some more votes and its elite members can get some cheap housekeepers. Basically, Republicans want you to dish out more dough in taxes so check-writing fatcats can get docile laborers and so a liberal couple in Santa Monica can pay meager wages to that nice Guatemalan lady who is raising Kaden and have their lifestyle subsidized by you.
How do you say “hard pass” in Spanish?
Let’s not even mention the crimes the Normals endure and the elite avoid living behind the guardhouses of their gated communities, from fender benders by uninsured illegals to MS-13 mass murders. At the end of the day, the people pushing illegal immigration cash in on votes or, well, cash, and we get handed the check.
How about no?
How about we enforce our laws?
How about we normal Americans demand that we get a say in who comes here and who doesn’t?
And how about the Republicans stop trying, again and again and again, to undermine and undercut the will of the party’s base?
No amnesty.
None.
Don’t like it? Go home.
This is our country and this is our choice. You’ve proposed radically changing our nation by allowing massive, uncontrolled immigration, legal and illegal. And we’ve said “Hell no.”
Do what your voters tell you, Republicans. Stop trying to make amnesty happen. It’s not going to happen.
Now, maybe in Washington you think a bunch of illegal aliens worried about being deported is an emergency. Out here in America, we don’t. We think it’s a good start.
Yes, the president has talked about letting the DACA people stay, but as part of a deal that makes real changes to this broken system. Whether that deal would be worth it is arguable, but at least the president is demanding real enforcement. But Team Amnesty can’t even do that – they imagine that somehow we’re going to go for another round of “Okay, we’ll let a bunch of future Democrats become citizens even though they committed a crime coming here, and then later someday maybe possibly we might think about perhaps studying the contingency of sort of keeping the promise we made to stop illegal immigration the last time we amnesty-conned you.”
I have a better idea. Ready?
Get the GOP base excited and happy going into the midterms by not doing the precise opposite of what we sent you to Washington to do.
Whoa.
Kooky, right?
No. Sane. We can’t blow the midterms by alienating our own people on behalf of aliens. Only a bunch of morons could think that’s a smart play.
Oh. Wait. Let me introduce the Republican Party.
No amnesty. We’re serious, folks. In fact, we’re positively militant.
Don’t push us. You won’t like how it ends in November.
If they were just idiots, it would be one thing. They are calculating freedom-haters with massive amounts of power. That is far worse.
Indeed, we have far more to fear from fake-conservative RINOs than we do from demoncat Dems who make little or no attempt to hide what they really are.
.22mag..
Faux-Cons.
The GOP, for the most part, is just the right wing of the Leftist party.
They are not idiots. They know exactly what they are doing and they are really good at it. Schlichter gives them to much credit for being Americans and honest brokers of a philosophy. Minus the Joo bashing Yo is right.
Minus the Yo bashing, you are right. Also, the RINO/NeoCons who still run the Republican Party hate the Russians (going way back) and even Aid & Abet the Fake Democrat Russian spy charges, and want sanctions and “war” over Syria, Iran, Ukraine etc. Trump needs to take a Steel Brush to the Republican Party, the US State Dept, DoD, DoJ etc and then rinse with Clorox. Exile all the traitors to their Passport Boss country.
the big betrayal will probably come after the election–
at this point,republican voters are actually more enthused than democratic voters,which is the opposite of usual midterms–
48 republican congressmen are retiring-who wants to bet that at least 40 of them vote for amnesty?
you are correct tampa , except they are not retiring, they are cashing in . they will all go on to nice kushie 7 or 8 figure lobbying positions. the amount of money the cheap labor lobby has to throw around is immense.
Yeah, Kurt! Republicans can save America!! If only they’d get behind Trump … the bestest Republican “Murika ever had.
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A bullshit fake quote. Some people are so easily ‘played’. Sad.
It’s not a fake quote. I found it on the internet.
Even if it’s fake, sadly it’s quite true. The real unfortunate part is that is applies to both sides of the Republicrat party.
When I was active in the Libertarian Party in California in the 90s, we had a perennial candidate who ran for various statewide offices. His name was Ted Brown. A great guy, great libertarian, but he used to get HUGE numbers of votes (sadly not enough to win), simply because his last name was Brown. In Cali, that family is worshiped like the fucking Kennedys are in Mass and NY. Your point is well-taken. Just put an R or a D by your name and 90+% registered to that party will vote for you, even if your last name is Hitler or Stalin.
I worked for the Harry Browne campaign back then as an agency client. They had produced a great 30 minute infomercial and I was booking it on local stations to coincide with his appearances. The only teevee network that would sell us time was ABC. CBS said he wasn’t a “bona fide” candidate, despite the fact he was on the ballot in all 50 states. I even took it to the FCC and the “staff” refused to express an opinion.
when you live and do business in a democratic stronghold , sometimes you have to throw them a bone .
new York city is just such a place. got any better answers ? you supporting Ryan’s amnesty? john Kasich giving you the warmies? getting excited about Mitch McConnell ?
see below.
miforest gump- That might be why El Trump was a liberal Democrat of the first order up until 2008 when for reasons obvious, he switched to the Repugnant side. I guess that holds true for his kids, Ivanka and Jared who were ultra-liberal Democrats until one month before the election in 2016, democratic stronghold and all don’t you know. If you live in joo heaven and in the case of Jared and Ivanka who are joos it’s just a given that you support the Dems/liberals with as much cash as possible……right?
The GOP establishment is brilliant. they have convinced their supporters that they are amiable dunces ,well meaning but tone deaf . They are under the complete ownership of the donor lobby who want cheap labor . the meat packers such as Hormel, Tyson chicken,Purdue , chamber of commerce( seven eleven, hotel owners, gas station schains like speedway) , real estate(landscaping) lobby give them marching orders to open the borders and they follow them. Thats why despite base outrage since W bush’s proposed amnesty in 2004, nothing to slow down the illegals has been done. We have primaried prominent republicans see eric cantor, https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/11/us-house-majority-leader-eric-cantor-loses-primary-virginia
We see the big money donors come into primaries where an electable base supported candidate is winning and fund challengers who cannot win the general . MO Brooks was a great candidate in the Alabama senate primary , well ahead of DC pick Luther strange. Mitch McConnell funded Roy Moore to try to split us the conservative vote and help strange. It backfired and moore squeaked out the victory . then the same donors (DC PAC’s and Mitch McConnell ) funded and endorsed democrat doug
Jones
there is only one party in DC, and thats the donor’s party . all the rest is just theater. the GOP pretends they are dumb when they do what the entire base hates , to please the donors.
I started working on republican campaigns for Ronald Reagan in 1979. I worked an a lot of GOP campaigns since then, including trumps.
watching the washington establishment and media close ranks to destroy him only confirmed what most of us tea party- freedom caucus already had strong suspicions about, that the Washington establishment was united, and that any differences between the party’s is theater. they both want the same things.
this article is about italy,not the us,but you guys will like it–
in the italian elections a few months ago no party received enough seats to form a govt so the center & right wing parties formed a govt–
they are now refusing to allow the ships that pick up refugees to dock in italy–
Slightly off (GOP stoopidity) topic, but…
Wonder when Kranky Kolonel Kurt will start “calling things by their true names” and label it an “INVASION“?!? Wonder how that will play with his attempts at humor and satire. After all;
Visitors ask permission.
Tourists ask permission.
Diplomats ask permission.
Immigrants ask permission.
Refugees ask permission.
Migrants ask permission.
Even the notorious H1B’s ask permission.
Isn’t “Illegal Immigrant” an much an oxymoron as “foolish wisdom”?
Is calling them “illegal aliens” instead of “Invaders” an example of “Military Intelligence”?
I’m not seeing how Republicans will read Schlichters tirade and say to themselves, “Oh, well I’m going to change my thoughts and my votes then”. Nor do I see how the “We are all screwed and we’re all going to die” crowd populating the comments today are helping anything at all. Maybe Schlichter is communicating in code by using the word “militant Normal” to suggest a path forward. Anybody courageous enough to offer suggestions?
Can the GOP Establishment Stop Being Idiots Just Once?
No.