Nation’s Chick-Fil-A Employees Begin Marching Around Popeyes Restaurants Blowing Trumpets

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S. —The war between God’s chosen chicken sandwich restaurant and the heathen chicken restaurant Popeyes continues to heat up. Early Monday morning, the nation’s Chick-fil-A employees were seen marching around nearby Popeyes restaurants blowing various horns.

The smiling fast-food workers sang religious lyrics like “My eyes have seen the glory of a Chick-fil-A sandwich” and “Bless the poultry, my soul, O my soul” as blew on shofars and trumpets as they marched around the Popeyes restaurants seven times.

At one restaurant in Lousiana, a patron was waiting for over 30 minutes for their Popeyes chicken, prompting one of the Chick-fil-A employees to jump over the counter and serve him out of instinct. Similar acts of goodwill were seen all over the country as the Chick-fil-A employees continued to march around the restaurants in an attempt to call down God’s wrath upon their mortal foes.

“Oh, shucks, we love our friends here at Popeyes,” said one Chick-fil-A worker. “This is just a good bit of fun. But really, they should get out of there as soon as possible.”

As the ground beneath the restaurants began to tremble and screaming patrons smashed through windows to escape, the smiling Chick-fil-A employees simply said carrying out the destruction of God’s enemies was their pleasure.

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11 Comments
Speedy
Speedy
August 28, 2019 6:53 am

All this because Chick-fil-A refuses to open on Sundays?

Grog
Grog
August 28, 2019 8:38 am

Shall We Gather Eggs at the River

Michael S J Goodman
Michael S J Goodman
  Grog
August 28, 2019 12:41 pm

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s omelette!

the experienced
the experienced
August 28, 2019 9:51 am

It’s rather erroneous. God, the creator of the universe, never commanded to rest on Sunday. HE commanded us to rest on the Sabbath. But then in 325 A.D. the early pope and the roman emperor Constantine got together and decreed a day of rest throughout all the empire to be on “the venerable day of the sun”, because Constantine was a sun-god worshiper.
And thus it is still to this day throughout the western world.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  the experienced
August 28, 2019 11:54 am

May I offer you some bacon and coffee?

the experienced
the experienced
  Anonymous
August 28, 2019 2:56 pm

I take the coffee. Thanks.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  the experienced
August 28, 2019 12:09 pm

I figured it had to do more with GOLFING on Saturday.

Michael S J Goodman
Michael S J Goodman
  the experienced
August 28, 2019 12:42 pm

Unless you’re a Seventh Day Adventist!

the experienced
the experienced
  Michael S J Goodman
August 28, 2019 2:57 pm

Or just someone who desires to do the things pleasing to God.

Constantly seriously annoyed
Constantly seriously annoyed
August 29, 2019 7:45 am

Popeyes taste like a flat stepped on with a dirty shoe full of nasty spices to cover the dry flat double crusty crust. They do not have a sandwich worth talking about much less eating

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Constantly seriously annoyed
August 29, 2019 11:42 am

The beans and rice is like seasoned slop.