FRIDAY FAIL

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hockey sports wtf - 5653662208

During last night’s game between the Winnipeg Jets and Montreal Canadiens, Lars Eller scored a hat trick. As per NHL tradition, fans started to throw their headgear onto the ice in celebration. One fan decided to switch things up and threw a sex toy onto the ice. I need to start watching hockey more often.

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news whoops cars isis Probably bad News terrorists fail nation - 8404596992

When Texas plumber Mark Oberholtzer traded in his black Ford F-250 pickup truck, he expected it would live a second life in the hands of new owners, but probably not these owners.

Oberholtzer’s Texas City plumbing company, Mark-1 Plumbing, has been inundated with threats after a photo of his old Ford work truck appeared on a terrorist Twitter feed, equipped with an anti-aircraft gun in the bed and still bearing the company logo on the door.

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See more at the Fail Blog

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244 Comments
nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 2:15 pm

comment image

Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:15 pm

“Simon, do you love Me?”

Yes, Lord.

“Feed my sheep. Don’t try to play soccer with them.”

Saami Jim
Saami Jim
  nkit
September 7, 2019 7:37 pm

Fainting goats. My neighbor breeds them.
Why, I don’t know.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 2:17 pm

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nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 2:19 pm

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EC
EC
  nkit
September 6, 2019 7:14 pm

How much is that titty in the window?

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  EC
September 6, 2019 8:00 pm

I’ll give her a dime for 2 nipples.

Donkey
Donkey
September 6, 2019 5:47 pm

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. Keep making my fridays joyful. 🙂

The Man With No Name
The Man With No Name
Admin
September 6, 2019 5:55 pm

Just a quick head’s up that after a few hours trying to debug this post and see why it stopped loading, I finally figured out that I was looking in the wrong place. It was not in fact a problem with all the .gifs in the comments, but instead it was a problem with one of the site’s plugins CHOKING on all the .gifs in the comments.

So I had to disable that plugin for now. I think it might have been the plugin that let you just paste in a URL for an image. Let me check real quick here
comment image

…nope that still seems to work.

It definitely had something to do with images in comments and I’m sure you all will figure out what’s not working that used to work. But it seems like the site is better off being able to have posts with a lot of comments with .gifs than whatever that plugin was doing so I’ll leave it disabled for now and you all can let me know what’s missing and then I’ll try to figure out how to get that plugin’s functionality replaced.

Now it’s beer ‘o clock so try not to break the site.

nkit
nkit
  The Man With No Name
September 6, 2019 6:02 pm

Thanks for saving the day, TMWNN.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Man With No Name
September 6, 2019 6:07 pm

Your expertise is appreciated.

Chick
Chick
September 6, 2019 6:01 pm

Dear NKIT,

How about play it safe and do not post any pictures of women in various stages of undress or immodesty? I view Friday Fail for the humor not the “soft” porn. Otherwise most of your posts are great. Thank you!

~L
~L
  Chick
September 6, 2019 6:48 pm

Soft porn? Disagree.
Admiration of, and viewing attractive females is what some members of this blog’s largest demographic seem to appreciate, as evidenced by the larger quantity of up votes that outweigh the rare down vote. Typically only in Friday Fail is this type of content added to the mix.

Your request and suggestion smacks of politically correct labeling and elimination of ‘offensive’ material that you may believe portrays women as sex objects instead of respectable equals.
Something a feminist, a prude, a nun, or a morality enforcement group would clamor for.

Many women pose, and flaunt their sexuality in flirtatious ways.
They want the attention.

Freedom allows one to decline to view, if one finds it objectionable.
Restrictions deny others of judging for themselves what is considered objectionable.

Scan by the hot shots, and enjoy the humor. Or, just opt out of viewing Friday Fail.

Nkit, here’s one vote to ignore this chick’s suggestion, and until Admin calls for a
Cease and Desist, I’d say to keep doing your thing.
There is one lady on the platform who accepts your content as in good taste, and is not offended by it. In fact, she post some damn fine photos, too.

IgorStravinsky
IgorStravinsky
  Chick
September 6, 2019 6:49 pm

Instead, perhaps you should buy yourself a personal massager. Then, when you don’t like the picture of a pretty girl, you can go massage yourself.

nkit
nkit
  Chick
September 6, 2019 6:59 pm
EC
EC
  Chick
September 6, 2019 7:01 pm

Dear Chick,

How about you fuck off, we view Friday Fail for the soft porn, humor is just the bonus. Thank you!

EC
EC
  EC
September 6, 2019 7:31 pm

No self-respecting woman calls herself ‘Chick’. This is obviously a gender confused male.

motley
motley
  EC
September 6, 2019 8:39 pm

Actually calling a woman a chick is a compliment. Not all women can be deemed … chicks

BB
BB
  EC
September 6, 2019 9:08 pm

I totally agree EC . I come every Friday to see the pretty women , the animals and to laugh. Keep up the fun.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Chick
September 6, 2019 7:35 pm

I would suggest you read the post and skip the comments. That way, we all are happy campers.

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  Chick
September 6, 2019 7:39 pm

It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to simply create Friday Babes and leave Friday Fail with just the Fails.

mark
mark
  Chick
September 6, 2019 8:36 pm

Chick,

Before I add my comment to your comment you have missed an important point here…this is not a ‘Play it safe’ place. In any way, shape, form or fashion. That is one of the many reasons it is worth hanging around here. lurking or commenting.

That said, here is some soft porn humor I hope you like.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four”.

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions!

Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. The husband is excited and knows immediately what to say and what he wants.

He crosses his fingers and says “Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”

Again, there’s a bright flash…and his legs fall off.

At almost 70 I am still chick magnet…ask any of my 14 hens when I bring the table scraps!

kc
kc
  Chick
September 6, 2019 11:02 pm

CHICK,

Look up top right corner of your screen, see the rectangle with the X in it? good, press it….

Now see the box lower left corner with the start menu? find the shut down button click it ….

leave us real males alone with our wishes of younger days as we may not have many dreams left to chase.

you don’t like our eye candy… then go outside and mow the lawn

Gloriously Deplorable Paul
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
  kc
September 6, 2019 11:42 pm

…………..or make me a sandwich.

gilberts
gilberts
  Chick
September 6, 2019 11:12 pm

Clearly, you aren’t a long-time reader of this site. You probably ought to go back to ZH or whatever safe space you came here from.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Chick
September 8, 2019 12:23 am

Friday fail is a fun way to end the week. Since there are a majority of men on this site, posting photos of beautiful women is expected. Nkit and T4C have even posted photos of men.
Some of these photos are great artistically. If you’ve ever done photography, you would realize that.
If you don’t like the photos, simply move on to the next item.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:02 pm

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Gloriously Deplorable Paul
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
  nkit
September 7, 2019 12:14 am

Awesome save. I’m sure the pucker factor helped keep him stuck to the seat.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:03 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:27 am

Soccer player.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:04 pm

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Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:03 pm

Lucky cat.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:04 pm

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nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:05 pm

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IgorStravinsky
IgorStravinsky
  nkit
September 6, 2019 7:30 pm

…and I never used a borrowed 10 gauge for pheasant hunting again.

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:04 pm

Liberals and guns don’t mix well.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:30 am

I don’t think the recoil is supposed to direct it under the arm. Maybe a few more lessons.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:07 pm

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nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:08 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
September 6, 2019 7:14 pm

Hang two.

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:05 pm

Never heard of topless surfing. I approve.

Pequiste
Pequiste
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:32 pm

Cowabunga

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:09 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:09 pm

Apparently the dad was dropped on his head when he was a tot.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:10 pm

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EC
EC
  nkit
September 6, 2019 6:49 pm

Whoever invented bras saved women from walking around like this.

Bob P
Bob P
  EC
September 6, 2019 7:10 pm

Not true. I’d have volunteered to hold them, fine humanitarian that I am.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Bob P
September 6, 2019 8:05 pm

You do realize it’s very hard to walk fast with your method of breast suspension, don’t you? Things get in the way.

Bob P
Bob P
  Mygirl...maybe
September 6, 2019 8:19 pm

I can tuck it in.

igor stravinsky
igor stravinsky
  Mygirl...maybe
September 6, 2019 8:23 pm

You say that like it’s a bad thing…

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  EC
September 8, 2019 1:36 am

You do realize bras weren’t invented until the early 20th century. Before that, there were corsets and camisoles (not ridged) or nothing.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:11 pm

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YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  nkit
September 6, 2019 9:29 pm

She needs to eat something

Bob P
Bob P
  YourAverageJoe
September 6, 2019 10:18 pm

I have something in mind.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:38 am

I know people love color television, but for photography, I think black and white is king.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:11 pm

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nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:12 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:40 am

Lucky kid.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:14 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:41 am

What a frigin’ idiot. The truck in the other lane could be seen before he tried to pass.

nkit
nkit
September 6, 2019 6:16 pm

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Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  nkit
September 6, 2019 8:07 pm

The only thing wrong with this idea was that there was no garbage truck involved.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
September 8, 2019 1:42 am

A lot of people will do anything for the right amount of money.

mark
mark
September 6, 2019 7:00 pm

A young Arkansan boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.

“Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

“Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

“So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his father asks.

“Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

“Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your mother!”

“I sure did, Dad!”

“That’s my boy!”

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville, he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States , and you already know what a lying b!+@# his girlfriend turned out to be!

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  mark
September 6, 2019 8:09 pm

LOL! I didn’t see the punchline coming!

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  mark
September 8, 2019 1:45 am

I didn’t see the punchline either. But the dog getting shot ruined it for me. The assholes.

CarlosDanger
CarlosDanger
September 6, 2019 9:17 pm

Nkit,
I agree that calling names and being judgmental is rude and inexcusable.
Additionally,some of these pantywaists around here just do not understand that girls are meant to be women,the sooner the better.
Remember gentlemen,if you marry her off at 14,that’s 4 years less that you have to support her.

mark
mark
September 6, 2019 9:48 pm

THREE MICKS AND GOVERNMENT WORK

Two Micks were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'”

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  mark
September 8, 2019 1:47 am

Affirmative action at work.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 6, 2019 9:54 pm

So fine to look at, and such a great voice.
Some cowboy found himself one helluva catch.
I wonder if she still goes on tour performances.

The Man With No Name
The Man With No Name
Admin
  Anonymous
September 7, 2019 6:27 am

Errr. Ok. That’s what the plugin I disabled was doing. Letting you embed YouTube videos easily…

I’ll see what I can do about that.

got it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Man With No Name
September 7, 2019 7:10 am

Ok.
Those 2 above are music vids.

If a posted URL fails to show a picture of what it is, my criteria for opening that link or not is:
It’s secure (httpS), and
If the topic of the link string is descriptive of the content and might be of interest.

I’d never willingly post a link that bogs down or infects the site.
Thanks again for what you do.
-suds

The Man With No Name
The Man With No Name
Admin
  Anonymous
September 7, 2019 9:17 am

There’s nothing wrong with your YT video URLs. I had to disable the plugin that lets URLs like that show up as an embedded video because that plugin was choking on all the gifs in the comments to this post. I’d like to find a way to let the YT videos auto-embed again without using that plugin if possible. I’m still working on that.

TampaRed
TampaRed
September 6, 2019 9:55 pm

Women Knocking On Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’
‘It depends I replied, ‘What does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, “OHIO STATE”
And they say blondes are dumb.
~ ~ ~
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world…’ The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you’.
~ ~ ~
‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’
‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.
~ ~ ~
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: Gay
~ ~ ~
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death. AMEN
~ ~ ~
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
~ ~ ~
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
~ ~ ~
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
~ ~ ~
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
~ ~ ~
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world… Then He made the earth round.

mark
mark
  TampaRed
September 6, 2019 10:08 pm

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

TampaRed
TampaRed
September 6, 2019 10:10 pm

Mother-in-Law

Latinos in Southern California say they are worried by the crackdown on immigration and the potential impact on their families. Seeking some relief from this terrible situation, one local Latino man posted this note on the White House website:
“I’m terrified that President Trump is going to deport my Latino mother-in-law who is here illegally and lives at 1801 3rd Street, Los Angeles, CA 90023. It’s the blue house on the corner. She gets home from work about 6:00 pm.”

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 7, 2019 1:59 am

comment image

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
September 8, 2019 12:07 am

Admin, the guy (?) kicking the trash can that hits him must be part of the mountain-trained AntiFa bunch.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
September 8, 2019 12:10 am

I could make destroyed cotton T-shirts and sell them much cheaper. Maybe I should go into business.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
September 8, 2019 12:20 am

Great!
Unless someone has evidence, maybe those kinds of comments shouldn’t be expressed.