To me, one of the scariest questions God can ask me at The Judgement Seat is; “What have you done with the time I gave you?”.
Many years ago I heard James Dobson talk about a study he did involving very old people. He asked about their regrets. I believe he listed four major regrets. I don’t remember three of them. I do recall this one. He mentioned that practically none of them had regrets concerning their careers, money , work, or what they hadn’t achieved. Instead, the number one painful regret came from failures in their relationships, especially with their children, and not spending more time with loved ones.
Q: What have you wasted your time on? Stated another way; if you could live life over, what would you eliminate?
====================================== =
Me?
I’ve probably easily spent three full years … like 24 x 365 … of my life on TBP! I’m not saying it was a waste of time! What I’m saying is …. HOLY SHIT!!!!
(Then again, what fucken good have I accomplished? Do NOT answer!!! That’s my rhetorical brain asking myself a rhetorical question. Really.)
Ok ,to answer the question; I spent way way way to much time fixing up my first house. it was a 70 year old house, had it for about three years, and I worked on that thing pretty much every damned weekend and a few days in between. Put a lot of money in it and got none of it back when we sold it. I vowed never to plow big bucks into a house again. For the most part, I kept that vow.
But, the Biggie is Television!!! If I averaged just one measly hour per day — again, a low number — then I’ve watched about 24,455 hours of TV. I’m sorry for repeating myself, but … holy shit!!!
God: “Stucky, what have you done with the time I gave you?”
Me: “I spent 4.7 years on TBP and 24,455 hours watching TV.“
GOD: “HOLY SHIT!!“
THE END — (Literally. I’m going straight to hell.)
Wow. Scary. I’d probably start hemming and hawing about having done my best to raise my kids right – to questionable effect – but as the Lord said “if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?”. I excuse the paucity of my charitable giving by saying that it can hardly even help when it’s on top of WIC and SNAP and other government programs that didn’t exist 2,000 years ago. That’s true, but it might be beside the point. Did I convert anyone to the faith? Hell, I don’t seem to have even retained them, much less converted them. I’m going to need to keep thinking about this, Stucky. Helping some distilleries stay in operation doesn’t seem like the best Life Calling. Hopefully the owners of the distilleries have been doing something good with my money. One of MN’s congressmen (Dean Phillips, a Jewish fellow) is heir to a distilling fortune. So I guess I’ve been helping the Jews.
That’s funny!! I think it’s a great calling! 🙂
Nice write up, for sure.
Stucky,
We are all building relationships here on TBP.
Yes, I’d bet my regret will end up being i didn’t spend enough time with my kids and grandkids when they were young. Once they get older, they have lives of their own. Not anything a person can do about that.
Rejoice in your friendships here on TBP. Go to HSF’s shindig.
Same here. You comment reminds me of one of the saddest songs of all time. “I’m gonna be like you dad. You know I’m gonna be like you.” Damn ….
https://youtu.be/EUNZMiYo_4s
I will do my utmost to make it to HF’s shindig.
Yep. That and this.
Wow. Great selection, flash. it’s been a very long time since I’ve thought about that song.
“Old people just grow lonesome / Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello” “
Makes me think of my dad. And my mom. And now I’m crying. Really.
And now I’m logging off, hopefully will be happy enough again to stop by later this afternoon.
A nice brief write-up about that song ….
https://www.songfacts.com/facts/john-prine/hello-in-there
Loretta and Rudy. I knew them well.
It really is a tearjerker. I’ve always related to older people (WWII) more than my own generation (edge of boomer) and nothing has changed. I’m sitting in a MD’s stinkin’ office now, listening to a panel of black women on TV yammering on about the beautiful, powerful and positive energy that the black community contributes to American society while being stared down by a roomful of boomers glaring at me from behind their security masks. I am the only person in the room with no mask. This is hell.
Stop fretting, odds are they are so stupid they will take the shot and be dead pretty soon of something dreadful.
https://youtu.be/pu6TJeasyWE
Toby Keith “My List” I try and remember to live the spirit of this song but I fail most often–usually because I’m tired.
I always enjoyed this version,saw Chapin in the 70’s once,believe he was backing up Boston,if my teen aged/drug addled brain remembers correctly!
Saw him in concert once, he was a hell of poet and talent.
Watching Swarzers play games or rednecks drive cars around in circles. Unfortunately, it’s only gotten worse for young people. They spend most of their time playing “games” on various electronic devices.
At 71 I really have few regrets. I did spend a lot of time on the road but I made good money and we all lived the good life. When I was home I was home. No golf (although I loved the game). No gallivanting. The proof is in the outcome: Married to the same gal for 44 years and 3 great, productive, and moral kids. Now retired I’m completely into seeing my growing family (2 grands) through this mess. I figure I have another decade or so before I croak which is how long I think this trek will last. Then I take my dirt nap in peace. It’s why I see no appeal to religion. I really don’t think I have sinned, in the sense that would harm people. Now, if you want stupid, I got plenty of that but sins? I really don’t think so.
Is anyone else getting this friggen vertical ad that cut off 25% of the page?
I have for the most part done what I set out to do. When I came to TBP, people believed that elected government existed, they believed there is actually two parties instead of the controlled Uniparty. That the news was on the up and up, go down the list. I determined to introduce some truths and that made me the bad guy but time proved me right.
I should have kicked some butts when it comes to family, maybe there is still time. I have very few regrets. I am who I am. I never waiver from my position.
I regret losing the joy of childhood. I have let the harshness of life turn me into a cold asshole. And a cold asshole is the last characteristic I’d ever want to pass on to my children. I do temper it with sparks of joy, fun, wonder and curiosity. And I hope it is enough to overcome the cold and darkness, but I am not sure. And that troubles me.
If I had to do it all over again, I would be an arborist (one that climbs, not that uses the bucket) with a side business in firewood and lumber (including post and beam and log home material) production. Now I am a traveling salesman who can’t travel. I also like what HSF does; that would be cool too.
SST–Tree climbers are in demand. And you don’t have to be the type that actually climbs the tree using spikes and such. The crane in a tree removal has a cable that is attached to a chair so that the arborist or worker can move around in the tree, whether cutting branches or attaching a strap so the tree can be safely removed.
God wouldn’t ask me that as my dad would be whispering in his ear to ask me what I have done to earn my keep. I was voted most trustworthy in my senior class in HS. And I have tried to live up to that even to my detriment.
Assuming you believe in God (I do), and there is an afterlife (I do),
what truly awaits us on the other side, when we make our transition?
…
A question / wonder, that man has been pondering forever.
Faith is the belief in some things unseen, and not easily explained.
A scary question indeed…What will God say to you?
“-Well done, good and faithful servant.” OR:
“-Have a seat. I need to review a few things with you about the time I gave you,
what you did with it, and how you behaved at certain times.” (uh-oh)
I would definitely do some things differently.
Less worry, less contempt for others, less anger for the small stuff;
and WAY more acceptance of His will. More Gratitude; less bitching.
(Serenity Prayer could be applied way more often…all 3 verses)
Things happen for a reason…find it. Find the blessing. Maybe you’ll never know the ‘why’ of tragedy.
I think anybody who says they wouldn’t change a thing about their past
is full of shit, and is too full of themselves. Arrogance is confidence that crosses a line. Ego.
Everyone has something they could have improved upon,
or could still do better, with the time they have remaining.
Especially with relationships and how they treat some people.
Personally, in my do-over, I would try and overcome the propensity to care too much about
what other people think of me. Rejection is a painful sting.
Now, some people, especially here, have absolutely no problem such as this, and may view that trait as weakness.
As much as I’ve learned that approval seeking is an energy drain, it’s still preferable to be liked.
We don’t get a 2nd chance to create a Good First Impression, and that’s historically been my m.o. too often.
But then again, as people get to know us better, by more frequent interaction, they see a kinder, friendlier
soul than what the gut feeling instinct initially alerted them to.
I’ll leave y’all with a quote from Wayne Dyer that I can appreciate.
Hopefully, a few battered egos might find some solace in it, too.
“Choose to align yourself with people who are like minded in their search for simplified inspiration.
Give those who find fault or who are confrontational a silent blessing and remove yourself from their energy
as quickly as possible. Your life is simplified enormously when you don’t have to defend yourself to anyone,
and when you receive support rather than criticism.”
In other words, fuck the critics, eh?
Now, let the down votes commence.
“I think anybody who says they wouldn’t change a thing about their past
is full of shit, ”
I’ve been here for 71 years. Have many regrets. Think quite often of “woulda, Coulda, Shoulda.” BUT. I have three of the grandest of grand daughters that God ever allowed any man to have. And I get to thinking (think of the “Back to the Future” movies) if I changed one thing, my life would have turned out totally different. I get to dwelling on that and start wondering if those same three GDs would even be alive or at least in my life and my head starts hurting.
No, even though I may have fucked a lot of things up I still wouldn’t change a thing.
I can understand that. If I could change a single thing in my life but had to give up my grandkids…F that.
“if you could live life over, what would you eliminate?”
Well,I guess the answer would start with not reading articles about self gratification(male or female)/southern hospitality and others of the same ilk!
Seriously,having lost so many friends and family at a young age to a large degree wish I had spent more time with them/enjoying life with em ect.
James- What exactly is wrong with southern hospitality? Maybe I should have said that if I could eliminate something from my life it would have been …YANKEES. Varmint…..
BL,did you even read the Stuckmans article on Southern Hospitality?Hmmmm…..,guess you forgot,here is a reminder for ya’s:
,so eat it you dumb as a brick Redneck!
The only difference between a Redneck and a Yankee is geography and you Red necks well got a weird accent,unlike us Yankees!
James- Yes I did read Stuck’s post…. my bad totally forgot about that. OTOH, I am certainly no redneck…. YANKEE. If the Yankees had not moved into the south en masse, there would be no ire from old Stucky about our hospitality.
Nothing wrong with being a Redneck or a Yankee.Both are good folks who like to get things done/want to be left alone and do not go out of their way to hurt others unless severely aggrieved/attacked/like to be self sufficient as modern day life will accommodate ect.
We all be in this what seems to be a war for our country together and then I think of the ole Charlie Daniels song “In America” and how folks will band together against a enemy:
“And we may have done a little bit
Of fightin’ amongst ourselves
But you outside people best leave us alone
‘Cause we’ll all stick together
And you can take that to the bank
That’s the cowboys and the hippies
And the rebels and the yanks
You just go and lay your hand
On a Pittsburgh Steelers’ fan
And I think you’re gonna finally understand”
On a side note,am sure the Stuckman is aware of the hospitality of say Newark/Camden!
Over a century ago,Yankees moved enmasse to the south much to the nations shame,we do it this time,is to give our brothers and sisters in the southlands a hand.
Well, BL, I moved down here from Yankeeland and have assimilated just fine. In fact, there are more morons to be had than up North, I love living in Appalachia! Give me a break, and long live the south! This former YANKEE is much convinced!!
” I moved down here from Yankeeland and have assimilated just fine. ”
Hmmmm…..,damn traitor!We are trying to do our best to keep the no permission slips/sales taxes ect. at bay while the toads move in from NYC/Ct. ect. and ya’s bail!
I know,try Hampster in another ten years when the cold really sets in me joints ect.
I considered due to many I met the hills of North Carolina but have decided to make me stand/line in the sand(granite?)the Hampster.
Just remember,you still have a place here,is never too late to change your mind till ya sell,then,you are a foreign presence!
I have been a Masshole/Maniac/Granola head(Vt.)/Co. resident along with Cali.(Pacific Grove area)Oregon/Washington state resident also,and in the end,well…..the Hampster is my final resting ground.
Have to admit that I am somewhat disappointed in the comments here. I stopped by this AM when there were very few comments on this thread and now hours later no one has cracked a single joke or calculated how much time they have wasted on self pleasuring.
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception….
By Paul Anka ( another Canadian boy )
I must be dumb lucky or hopelessly naive but I really only have two major regrets in my life ( 70 yrs ). We all have multiple small regrets but it’s the major ones that stick.
1. Smoking cigarettes – It led to major oral cancer – twice from 1980s to 2000, But, as with everything it was a double edged sword. It caused great suffering, depression, tons of medical intervention ( thank god for our somewhat free medical system ) permanent facial deformity ( which was improved vastly over time as a result of multiple surgeries ) and a permanent adjustment to some of the things I used to take for granted – eating, speech ( good enough to get by ) and permanent issues with my dental health ( currently had removed another tooth implanted yesterday ) caused by radiation damage. No blame attached – did it to myself. On the up side, it allowed me to “retire ” to disability 10 years earlier than I was expecting ( 50 ) from a job I eventually came to completely loath ( city bus driver 36 yrs. ). It was also, in a way, the most liberating thing that’s ever happened in my life as it freed me from fear ( nothing can be any worse than the terror of cancer surgery and treatments ) and allowed me to do things and live a life I probably wouldn’t have had the gumption or liberation to attempt. That which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. As my therapy I restored an old car, vacated the city for the small town life, re modelled a house to my preference ( which I shall live in until they carry me out) travelled the world for 20 yrs, and, most importantly re affirmed that I made the right choice when I married my wife of 36 yrs who stood by me through the darkest days and has shared the best ones.
2. Never learning to master an instrument. Took accordion lessons as a kid ( didn’t everyone ) but would have liked to have been able to sit down at a key board or pick out a tune on guitar. Iv’e been a huge music fan ( everything from psychedelic, blues, r&b, jazz, opera, classical,Indian Raga – even Gregorian chant ) all of my life and have an embarrassingly large collection. The only music that I really can’t abide is Gangsta Rap.
Maybe I’m a classic glass is half full guy or maybe I’m just a bright eyed optimist, but on the whole I’ve thoroughly enjoyed ( with one obvious exception ) my time on this spinning blue / green marble and hope to do so for the foreseeable future despite the insanity swirling about me. Anyway, it’s a beautiful clear above freezing day ( false spring? )in the Great White North and I’m about to go for an unmasked walk in the clean fresh air , in what I consider, after everywhere else I’ve been, to be the best place on earth with my lady and with a smile on my face.
Well if you lived near me, in the Okanagan, I’d give you one of my cigar box guitars for you to pluck’n grin with. Whole lotta fun and easy to play.
Actually I do live in the south part of The Valley of Heaven. Unfortunately, I got arthritis in my hands ( which is the reason that I had to stop my car restoration work – got tired of searching for bolts and nuts that I’d drop behind the engine 5 times for every successful attempt – well, that and the endless black hole money pit ) so there goes the guitar ( fortunately there’s always air guitar ). My problem was always with time. Never had enough to spend to master music. I’ve often heard it takes around 10,000 hours to master an instrument. I guess I’ve always had way too many disparate interests to spend that much time on any one thing exclusively, although I’ve always held people that are able to do such in the highest esteem. I almost bought a cigar box guitar a couple of years ago during one of my bucket list trips down Hwy 61 in Mississippi in a small shop in Clarksdale ( which as we all know isn’t actually the ” Crossroads ” as it’s more likely the junction of #1 & #8 near Rosedale ) but couldn’t figure how to get it home on the plane with todays restricted baggage allowances and better judgement ( the wife ) convinced me otherwise ( happy wife, happy life ).
For me, probably serving on boards, committees, and sub-committees. Sadly, I had no excuse. My Dad told me that was one of his regrets later in life. He would be running around doing this and that while Mom was overloaded at home. I still did it anyway. At first, I told myself it was because I was asked and that meant I was needed and I wasn’t raised to shirk responsibility. But, in reality, there was probably some vanity involved as well. Yes, some good was done, but …. I don’t know. Sometimes I didn’t get back until after the kids were asleep and then when they graduated and left for college, I wondered if I missed anything.
As for the time spent here and online, I look at it this way: Use it or lose it. Our effectiveness is only as good as what we do well every day. Practice, drill, rehearse. What we don’t use, fades – you know, like many of those college gen-ed classes. 🙂
Every day online out here, we live on the cutting edge of history as it’s happening. I’ve sharpened my debate skills, solidified my ideological opinions, and broadened my horizons on everything from ancient castles to machines of war to the Van Allen Radiation Belt to Mongolian throat singers. And because of that, when I debate someone in real life it’s like taking a 3-year-old to a Saw movie. And when they keep trying to dig out from the hole I threw them in, I have to beg them sometimes, in exasperation, to show themselves some mercy and just stop – like that guy with no arms left in that Monte Python movie.
Thanks, TBP! Hardly a waste of time, ya know?
Un- agreed. If this were a waste of time injecting truths into the infected minds of our newly entered community residents, I would have taken up wood carving. I know I have flipped a few confused souls, they came back to tell me I helped them see the light.
Trying to reason people into seeing things my way. It never works.
That is not true HF, you reason with the readers daily.
Does it work?
Yes, I believe you make an impact here. I was just thinking today if I made any change for the good in my kids (wife’s kids, my step children). If it weren’t for me would they be better or worse off? Dunno but, it seems the cycle is not broken with my oldest and her kids (my grandkids). I will be doing my damndest for the rest of my life to make a difference in my grandkids lives. Wish me luck. God I love those kids.
I do wish you luck, but I can tell your heart is in it so that’s what counts the most.
Enjoy every minute if it.
Does it work? Oh yeah, you advise and reason and they all listen. I truly think many would like to be HSF. You understand real life the way humans should live, we have both lived it. Keep reasoning .
Sometimes we never see the fruits of our labors, doesn’t mean it was in vain.
“you reason with the readers daily”,the ? is ,does he get folks to think and change their minds or at least consider/reconsider their thoughts/ideas.
I feel he is saying for most part a lost cause in the age of non debate/discussion,unfortunately agree.
I feel when folks will not discuss/debate ect. unless they all agree to go back home things get ugly,feel that is were our country is now at and will only get worse,as always,glad to be wrong.
I don’t think a single thing I have said anywhere over the decades has changed a single mind about anything and I have had a lot to say.
I spent about 10 years working my ass off helping pay bills at home for my 3 brothers, spent 4 years at college, then 25 years for a family (13 in the USAF and 12 working and making a farm) until the bitch divorced me, 6 years working and making a ranch for a second family until she divorced me , 22 years working for a third wife and making a ranch-orchard which I’m trying to keep going. I have dreams of establishing a large farm-ranch-orchard in Tennessee as a Christian Sanctuary called Mt Jesus and us calling ourselves the Meekers (the Meek shall inherit the earth). I wasted a lot of time because of damned women turning into worthless feminist sluts but I ain’t gonna waste more time worrying about that spilled milk.
RHS- Women have been the downfall of many a man.
I spent my time on wine, women, and song, but the rest I wasted.
Hey Llpoh- Where ya been? You OK?
I regret selling my 66 Chevelle SS396 in 1982 for 2500.00
I regret our sale of a 1972 Cutlass Supreme for $1000 in 1994.
As a old man who worked hard, maybe too hard and too long at times, the one thing I would say is that I would not have done as much. A whole lot more down time, with or without the family and friends.
I’ve been avoiding this question for at least two reasons:
1. You were especially nasty to mygirl… whatever yesterday over what was/is a very important topic for many reasons, but mostly because Epstein did not kill himself and we know Bill was a frequent visitor to his sleazy island for the rich, powerful and famous, where a dozen or more teenage girls were kept hostage for use at his parties for special guests. Child trafficking is very real. My nephew is in prison, probably for life, for his third strike which involved stealing some cash and valuables from my mother and molesting additional young children. Generational incestuous behavior is the most common form of child abuse, in my personal opinion and background experience* is something that really devastates families in ways that are irreparable.
So, your reply to BigRed put me off and I’m really not interested in the history. I’ve got too many history lessons on my plate.
2. It asks me about regrets, I think. I’ve had a lot of misunderstandings that caused irreparable damage to my family, Stucky. I regret letting a lot of the misunderstandings start, but cannot imagine how to change the past without harming the present.
Seriously, Stucky? What could I change without completely eliminating now?
“Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15
That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God [b]requires an account of [c]what is past.
Injustice Seems to Prevail
16 Moreover I saw under the sun:
In the place of [d]judgment,
Wickedness was there;
And in the place of righteousness,
[e]Iniquity was there.
17 I said in my heart,
“God shall judge the righteous and the wicked,
For there is a time there for every [f]purpose and for every work.”
18 I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” 19 For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. 20 All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. 21 Who[g] knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth? 22 So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his [h]heritage. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?”
Okay, I’ve edited it all I’m going to. I just wanted to let you know I did give it some thought but really can only say I really have done the best I could with the limited resources I had. I tried to help a few people along the way and some have suggested I helped a bit, so I am glad about that. I’ve hurt a few people along the way and if the harm was lasting, I’m sorry about that, but since the harm done me is forgiven I assume the same has been also done unto me.
Unless something more profound comes to me in the next ten minutes or so, this comment is done. Stucky, I am going to be speechless when the Lord speaks to me. I am depending completely upon Amazing Grace. And I didn’t even listen to that post of yours because I love the song so.
*Details about my “background experience.” Because, after really giving it some thought and sorting through a few of those memories we prefer to avoid, if possible, I realized I was suppressing the fact that my mother was molested by her uncle, who also molested all three of her sisters, though she thought she was protecting them by allowing it at first. I wrote a lot more but it is gone now. That stuff is ancient history and needs to stay there. How do we go back?
I see Cats in the Cradle and raise with Seasons in the Sun.