WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement given this week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she feels for Americans struggling with prices at the pump and offered a suggestion for how to cope by becoming a millionaire through insider trading.
“If you want to avoid suffering from high gas prices, the solution is simple,” she said. “Just get elected to Congress and spend decades trading stocks based on insider information only Congress is allowed to have! Easy!”
“You’ll even have money left over for ice cream and to bail your spouse out of prison if they get a DUI!”
Republicans condemned Pelosi’s callous statements, contesting that Americans should instead pull themselves up by their bootstraps and work harder, and maybe meet with a few ExxonMobil lobbyists for some extra cash.
“Pelosi’s advice is sound, but we’ve found this approach only works for one out of every 350 million Americans,” said local Democratic strategist Yance Parmesan. “For everyone unable to enrich themselves as a career politician, we recommend you just ask Biden for a gas card or buy an electric car. Simple as that!”
At publishing time, gas prices rose even higher, forcing Pelosi to get a second job delivering pizzas.
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“Just have AIPAC pay for it.”
– Nancy Pelosi
Heres’s a note for the rest of us from Louis Brandeis, Supreme Court Justice 1928:
“Crime is contagious. If the Government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.”
I’m not absolutely sure, but I think we might be there. Contempt for law is a growing sentiment, first among chronic thieves, robbers, and murderers (aka BLM and Antifa), and now increasingly among those of us who have been lifelong law abiding citizens.
They’ve shit on the Constitution for longer than I’ve been alive. If the law means nothing to them, why should it mean anything to anyone else?
But, but Nancy, I don’t have the money to get elected to CONgress. What else can I do?
Check the HAGFUCK democrat cunt.
This CUNT is the “leader ” of the “progressives” !
The HAG is what 80 ?
JACKOFF democrats love old-dried hagcunt leaders !
Well at least they cannot Breed.
Hunter however needs a Vasectomy with two opposing fast moving Bricks that meet at the meat of the problem.