WASHINGTON, D.C.—America’s heroic lawmakers have managed to come together and pass a stimulus package to save the world from the effects of the coronavirus. A grateful country full of very stimulated Americans is applauding the lifesaving efforts of Congress. Already, experts are predicting the stimulus package will save the lives of at least 85,000 government programs. Sources say that with a little congressional money laundering, that figure could even double.
U.S.—Americans have reported they’re very optimistic about the stimulus package passed by Congress last week. In particular, people all around the country are excited to get paid with a little bit of the money that they paid the federal government already.
Americans from all walks of life said they couldn’t wait to receive a check with a small percentage of the money the government had already taken from them.
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Submitted by Stephen Z.
