White House Announces Illegal Immigration Has Decreased 90 Percent Since They Redefined It

Via The Babylon Bee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House is claiming that illegal immigration is now down over 90% thanks to them redefining what illegal immigration is.

“The President’s policy of making up fake words, definitions, and stats has had a real, positive impact at the border,” said black gay Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Since reality itself bends to the will of whoever has the power to define it, we have been able to decrease illegal immigration drastically. We just decided that. With our words. Hooray for us!”

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The Big Rake

Guest Post by The Zman

One of the things normal people don’t get about Hillary Clinton is how seamlessly she fits into the moral universe of the ruling class. For instance, to normal people, lying is a bad thing. It lowers your status among the other Dirt People. In the Cloud, lying is a conditional concept. Lying to the Dirt People is fine. It’s what Cloud People must do to maintain order and assert their superiority. Lying to rivals while wrangling for power can be acceptable, as long as it does not reflect too poorly on the managerial class.

Another way to see how Hillary Clinton is emblematic of the managerial class is to examine her motivations. Normal people assume she is running for the White House as a power grab. It is assumed that politicians have big egos and winning office is driven by those big egos. That used to be true, but not in the modern managerial state. The real motivation is money. Most of the people in the managerial class are always aware of the fact they are not rich, at least not as rich as they deserve, and they hate it.

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Who Is Left To Speak The Truth (Or Why Government Hates Gold)

Submitted by Bill Bonner via Bonner & Partners,

Mr. Market Gets Even

Yes, prices are being discovered again… by free declaration of buyers and sellers.

Owners of Greek stocks are discovering that their equity stakes aren’t as valuable as they believed.

But for every seller there is a buyer…

Sellers are losing money. Buyers believe they are getting a bargain.

You can fool all of the people some of the time. Some of the people all of the time. And most of the people once in a while.

You can obstruct price discovery and you can disguise and distort the real value of things. But Mr. Market will get even someday. He always does.

Yesterday, we mentioned but did not explain, that Alan Greenspan betrayed Mr. Market…

In 1987, after President Reagan appointed him Paul Volker’s successor as chairman of the Federal Reserve, Greenspan went over to the zombies… or more precisely, to their allies, the cronies.

It must not have been easy for the former free market defender and member of Ayn Rand’s inner circle…

The Largest Paper Money Racket Ever

In the late 1980s and early 1990s – you could almost see Greenspan struggling with the contradictions.

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I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THOSE EMAILS!!

How stupid does Hillary think we are? Everyone on the planet with a smartphone can access their personal email account and their business email account on the same device. Her explanation for breaking the law is utterly ridiculous. The Clintons have been perpetually lying for the last 30 years. You know Hillary is lying when she opens her fat trap. 

This lying piece of shit is the favorite to be our next president?????

The gullibility of the American public, the complete capture of the corporate media journalists, and the disregard for any moral standards for our leaders has made this country a joke. Who could possibly think electing people of Hillary’s ilk will work our well for the American people?

I’m so done with politics. Only a revolution could save the country from complete and utter collapse. But the public is too distracted by the new iWatch and the latest ass selfies from Kim Kardashian to notice.

To quote a great American:

At this point, what difference does it make.

Via Wall Street Journal

 

Clinton-Alt-Delete

Hillary puts on a 1990s revival show about her private emails.

 

Hillary Clinton ’s admirers say she’ll run for President in part by invoking the glory days of the 1990s. For a taste of that era, we recommend her brief press conference Tuesday explaining why she had used a private email account as Secretary of State. It had everything nostalgia buffs could want—deleted evidence, blustery evasions, and preposterous explanations that only James Carville could pretend to believe.

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QUOTES OF THE DAY

“The risk that the economy has entered a substantial downturn appears to have diminished over the past month or so.”

Ben Bernanke – June 10, 2008

“It is not the responsibility of the Federal Reserve – nor would it be appropriate – to protect lenders and investors from the consequences of their financial decisions.”

Ben Bernanke – October 31, 2007

“All that said, given the fundamental factors in place that should support the demand for housing, we believe the effect of the troubles in the subprime sector on the broader housing market will likely be limited, and we do not expect significant spillovers from the subprime market to the rest of the economy or to the financial system. The vast majority of mortgages, including even subprime mortgages, continue to perform well. Past gains in house prices have left most homeowners with significant amounts of home equity, and growth in jobs and incomes should help keep the financial obligations of most households manageable.”

Ben Bernanke – May 17, 2007

“At this juncture, however, the impact on the broader economy and financial markets of the problems in the subprime market seems likely to be contained. In particular, mortgages to prime borrowers and fixed-rate mortgages to all classes of borrowers continue to perform well, with low rates of delinquency.”

Ben Bernanke – March 28, 2007

“Despite the ongoing adjustments in the housing sector, overall economic prospects for households remain good. Household finances appear generally solid, and delinquency rates on most types of consumer loans and residential mortgages remain low.”

Ben Bernanke – February 15, 2007

“With respect to their safety, derivatives, for the most part, are traded among very sophisticated financial institutions and individuals who have considerable incentive to understand them and to use them properly.”

Ben Bernanke – November 15, 2005

 


Lying on TBP may soon be a FELONY!!

You think I’m exaggerating? Just read some of the case examples below.

In America we prosecute people who post fake Facebook pictures, and not those who loot billions.

God, I fuckin’ hate this shit.

Oh … by the way … in case you didn’t know …. Muslims hate us because of our freedoms! bwahahahahahaha!!

Oh … by the way … Smokey is going to prison for bragging about his 11 1/2 inch schlong!!

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SHOULD FAKING A NAME ON FACEBOOK BE A FELONY?

Congress contemplates draconian punishment for Internet lies.

By ORIN S. KERR

Imagine that President Obama could order the arrest of anyone who broke a promise on the Internet. So you could be jailed for lying about your age or weight on an Internet dating site. Or you could be sent to federal prison if your boss told you to work but you used the company’s computer to check sports scores online. Imagine that Eric Holder’s Justice Department urged Congress to raise penalties for violations, making them felonies allowing three years in jail for each broken promise. Fanciful, right?

Think again. Congress is now poised to grant the Obama administration’s wishes in the name of “cybersecurity.”

The little-known law at issue is called the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. It was enacted in 1986 to punish computer hacking. But Congress has broadened the law every few years, and today it extends far beyond hacking. The law now criminalizes computer use that “exceeds authorized access” to any computer. Today that violation is a misdemeanor, but the Senate Judiciary Committee is set to meet this morning to vote on making it a felony.

The problem is that a lot of routine computer use can exceed “authorized access.” Courts are still struggling to interpret this language. But the Justice Department believes that it applies incredibly broadly to include “terms of use” violations and breaches of workplace computer-use policies.

Breaching an agreement or ignoring your boss might be bad. But should it be a federal crime just because it involves a computer? If interpreted this way, the law gives computer owners the power to criminalize any computer use they don’t like. Imagine the Democratic Party setting up a public website and announcing that no Republicans can visit. Every Republican who checked out the site could be a criminal for exceeding authorized access.

IF THAT SOUNDS FAR-FETCHED, CONSIDER A FEW RECENT CASES.

In 2009, the Justice Department prosecuted a woman for violating the “terms of service” of the social networking site MySpace.com. The woman had been part of a group that set up a MySpace profile using a fake picture. The feds charged her with conspiracy to violate the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. Prosecutors say the woman exceeded authorized access because MySpace required all profile information to be truthful. But people routinely misstate the truth in online profiles, about everything from their age to their name. What happens when each instance is a felony?

In 2010, the Justice Department charged a defendant with unauthorized access for using a computer to buy tickets from Ticketmaster. Ticketmaster’s website lets anyone visit. But its “terms of use” only permitted non-automated purchases, and the defendant used a computer script to make the purchases.

In another case, Justice has charged a defendant with violating workplace policies that limited use to legitimate company business. Prosecutors claimed that using the company’s computers for other reasons exceeded authorized access. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals recently agreed.

The law even goes beyond criminal law. It allows civil suits filed by private parties. As a result, federal courts have been flooded with silly disputes. In one recent case, an employer sued a former employee for excessive Internet usage from work. The alleged offense: visiting Facebook and sending personal emails. In another case, a company posted “terms of use” on its website declaring that no competitors could visit—and then promptly sued a competitor that did.

Remarkably, the law doesn’t even require devices to be connected to the Internet. Since 2008, it applies to pretty much everything with a microchip. So if you’re visiting a friend and you use his coffeemaker without permission, watch out: You may have committed a federal crime.

Until now, the critical limit on the government’s power has been that federal prosecutors rarely charge misdemeanors. They prefer to bring more serious felony charges. That’s why the administration’s proposal is so dangerous. If exceeding authorized access becomes a felony, prosecutors will become eager to charge it. Abuses are inevitable.

Real threats to cybersecurity must be prosecuted. Penalties should be stiff. But Congress must narrow the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act before enhancing its penalties. There’s no reason to make breaching a promise a federal case, and certainly not a felony crime.

Mr. Kerr, a former federal prosecutor, is professor of law at George Washington University School of Law.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903285704576562294116160896.html