U.S.—The nation’s millennials are in a panic as baby boomers, feeling insulted by such things as the “OK Boomer” meme, have now threatened to withhold participation trophies.
“How am I supposed to know I’m special if I don’t have a trophy?!” exclaimed Brendan Stephens as he stress-ate avocado toast. Stephens currently lives at home with his boomer parents as he’s busy “discovering himself.” “I can’t be left on my own like this. I need constant support to achieve anything,” Stephens continued. “I mean, I’m thirty-seven; I’m not old.”
“They’re just mad that we’ve correctly pointed out that they’ve destroyed everything,” said millennial Kaylee Forman, a social media consultant. “Especially the environment, which I’m very, very concerned about. Just look.” Forman scrunched her face so that she looked very concerned. “But they can’t stop giving us symbols of how special we are, because if I don’t get that reassurance every day, I’ll start to wonder if I’m not special! What if I’m not special?! What if I’m not?!”
Baby boomers would not budge, though. “They are not giving us the respect we deserve, and we’re tired of it!” said Ronald Foster, a retired bank executive. “They won’t listen to the important things we’ve found out in an email forward, they call our Minions memes ‘lame,’ and now they got this dismissive ‘OK Boomer’ thing going. I haven’t felt this disrespected since I got back from Vietnam! If they want a participation trophy, then they’d better spend the $10.50 and buy it themselves!” He then added that he was still upset that the country didn’t get a participation trophy for the Vietnam War.
When reached for comment, Generation X, who is stuck between the two arguing generations, simply shrugged and said, “Whatever.”
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Well done. Where is my prize?
It’s available for $10.95 @Participationtrophies.net.
I am ordering a dozen! One free!
Millenials did not create participation trophies, boomers did, it was boomers that could not take the fact that little suzy didnt get a prize… Some of us never wanted them and have been pissed that stupid old people expected us to be grateful for their worthless crap…
OK Boomer is too nice in my opinion, its well past time for fuck you boomer
That participation trophy was just to remind you that you lost, punk-ass millennial. Now where are my fries?
…punk-ass millennial biotch .
This sounds like a serious response to the tiresome Boomer conservative parade of morons. It’s not so much liberals vs conservatives as it is a natural battle between the old guard and the young turks. Boomers conveniently forget that they too wanted to upend the world and dump the old generation into the ocean. How’s it feel, bitches?
Most of them have EARNED this one:
Absolutely hilarious. Well done!
Signed,
Boomer
Did HR get a participation ribbon? Iravani?
Recent True Story: I received an email telling me that my Recording Studio was voted Best in Phoenix for 2019. Wow! Can you believe it? Having won such a prestigious award, all I had to do was go to their website and pick which very expensive trophy I wanted. Easy as pie.
First, I closed that studio and moved out of Phoenix more than 10 years ago. I don’t see how it would be possible to be voted Best In Phoenix when neither I nor the business are around anymore. Second, these “awards” cost just under $200 dollars and when you think about it, it is the perfect scam. Just tell everyone they’ve won an award and hand out trophies left and right for hundreds of dollars each.
This is the perfect business for the millennial generation.
I saw it scrawled on the wall of stall 3 at the Phoenix truck stop.
“NickelthroweR is BEST in Phoenix.”
Emmy Award Winners have to purchase their Statuettes. What a racket.
Need to withhold trust funds.
Don’t worry, kids! Santa’s coming to save the day!
Okay, let’s have a TBP Santa Look Alike Posing contest! We could make a TBP Calendar!
Sorry but the Gen-X’ers who bred some of those millenials were the ones who started blaming boomers for everything
http://www.amerika.org/politics/anatomy-of-a-racial-shakedown-at-chuck-e-cheese/
Negro fatigue.