The Queef Heard Round The World

 Guest Post by Stilton Jarlsberg

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50 Shades of Who Gives a Damn.

On the first full day of Donald Trump’s administration, millions of women gathered in cities around the world to deliver the message, powerfully and unequivocally, that we dodged a real bullet by not electing a vagina-owner as President.

Oh sure, that wasn’t the message they meant to send – but what the hell else is anyone (male or female) with more than a spoonful of brains supposed to think? The angry protesters donned “pussy hats” and vagina costumes to prove they’re not just sex objects and should be taken seriously.  Which, frankly, we find hard to do when a glowering woman has turned her face into a clitoris.

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Sec Army to Worldwide Army Commands: “Balance Lactation Support and Readiness”

Guest Post by Ray Starmann

ameda-purely-yours-17070_1

Adolf Hitler once said, “Give me five years and you won’t recognize Germany anymore.”

Well, we’ve given Barack Hussein Obama seven years and you can’t recognize the US Army anymore.

The Obama Administration is literally carpet bombing the military on a daily basis with directives, memos, policies and doctrine that if they weren’t actually happening would be considered to be something out of a Kafkaesque, Gloria Steinem nightmare.

Today, I examined a Memorandum for Record, dated September 20, 2015 and signed by the former Secretary of the Army, John McHugh.

You remember Secretary McHugh, he’s the guy who dodged and delayed Congressman Steve Russell after Russell requested the Ranger School records of the first two female “graduates”, Captain Griest and First Lieutenant Haver. I believe McHugh led the cover up of what actually happened down at Fort Benning, a conspiracy that continues to this day.

Stay tuned USDW readers…

McHugh’s Memorandum for Record is titled, Army Directive 2015-37(Breastfeeding and Lactation Support Policy)

Here are some highlights from the memo:

“Commanders and soldiers will balance lactation support and readiness.”

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HOW CAN THIS PRESIDENT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY?

Obama invites a bunch of gangsta rappers, lowlifes, criminals, whores and kidnappers to the White House to have a “serious” discussion about keeping black men out of trouble???? WTF???

This guy is a fucking joke and a disgrace.

Rick Ross Sorry Mr. President Did I Beep?

0418-rick-ross-white-house-TMZ-GETTY-02Rick Ross was like a loud fart in a quiet room when his ankle bracelet went off over the weekend at the White House.

Ross was there along with a bunch of other rappers — Nicki Minaj, Busta Rhymes, J. Cole, Wale and DJ Khaled — to support Obama’s Brother’s Keeper youth initiative, ironically to keep men of color out of trouble.

It was a serious and fancy affair … enough to get Ross in a suit, which covered the ankle monitor he has to wear … a condition of release in his kidnapping case.

Sources on scene tell TMZ Obama finished his speech when Ross’ anklet ripped through the silence.

We’re told Ross was even surprised … the anklet’s new and it randomly beeps.

So … whoever heard it blurted it?


It Begins: Obama Forgives Student Debt Of 400,000 Americans

So now if you’re depressed because you can’t get a job in your lesbian studies or African studies major, you will qualify as disabled and can then have all your student loans paid for by the hard working taxpayers of this country. What a country.

Tyler Durden's picture

Joining the ranks of “broke lawyers” who can cancel their student debt, “Americans with disabilities have a right to student loan relief,” now according to Ted Mitchell, the undersecretary of education, said in a statement. Almost 400,000 student loan borrowers will now have an easier path to a debt bailout as Obama primes the populist voting pump just in time for the elections.

On top of “the student loan bubble’s dirty little secret,” here is another round of student debt relief…as MarketWatch reports,

The Department of Education will send letters to 387,000 people they’ve identified as being eligible for a total and permanent disability discharge, a designation that allows federal student loan borrowers who can’t work because of a disability to have their loans forgiven. The borrowers identified by the Department won’t have to go through the typical application process for receiving a disability discharge, which requires sending in documented proof of their disability. Instead, the borrower will simply have to sign and return the completed application enclosed in the letter.

 

If every borrower identified by the Department decides to have his or her debt forgiven, the government will end up discharging more than $7.7 billion in debt, according to the Department.

 

“Americans with disabilities have a right to student loan relief,” Ted Mitchell, the undersecretary of education, said in a statement. “And we need to make it easier, not harder, for them to receive the benefits they are due.”

 

About 179,000 of the borrowers identified by the Department are in default on their student loans, and of that group more than 100,000 are at risk of having their tax refunds or Social Security checks garnished to pay off the debt. Often borrowers losing out on these benefits aren’t even aware that they’re eligible for a disability discharge, said Persis Yu, the director of the Student Loan Borrower Assistance Project at the National Consumer Law Center.

 

“Borrowers just frankly don’t know about this program,” she said. “In the past it’s been incredibly complicated to apply and that process has been getting better over time, but some people just assume that it’s not going to work.” The letters will help make more borrowers aware of their rights, Yu said.

*  *  *

So it’s a start – “broke lawyers” ,the poor” and “disabled Americans” get student debt relief. What about models that suddenly become too ugly to work? Or Petroleum Engineers no longer able to work because of The Fed’s over-indulgent easy money creating a glut in oil prices? Don’t they have a right to relief from their student debt? Seems like not granting students debt relief would violate all of their “safe spaces” – so cancel it all! Student Debt Jubilee here we come.

Continue reading “It Begins: Obama Forgives Student Debt Of 400,000 Americans”

HEAR the joke that will cost comedian Mike Ward $180,000 (if Human Rights Commissions have their way)

Hat tip Francis Marion

Montreal comedian Mike Ward was hauled before Canada’s Human Rights Commission for making a joke.

(LANGUAGE WARNING:)

(This isn’t the first time this has happened, either; a few years ago, Vancouver comedian Guy Earle was also fined over ten thousand dollars for heckling back at some hecklers in a comedy club.)

We’ll tell you the joke Mike made and what happened next.

He and I laugh about this situation but of course, it is deadly serious. If we don’t push back against these censors, then fascism wins.


The Fed Is Bluffing

Interest Rates Won’t Rise in 2015

The Janet Yellen Fed will not raise interest rates in any meaningful way anytime soon. Instead, she will announce new QE programs. On Wednesday, red was showing up just about everywhere – U.S. stocks, European stocks, Asian stocks, emerging markets stocks, crude oil… but it could have been worse…

U.S. stocks recovered some of their losses for the day, after the minutes of the most recent Fed meeting showed Yellen and team still won’t pull the trigger on a rate hike until certain unspecified conditions are met.

According to the Fed, the conditions for a rate increase are “approaching” but haven’t been met yet. Well, guess what… Conditions will never be met.

 

dudeThey’ll just drop in to see what condition our condition is in

Image credit: Ethan Coen

 

Market Morphine

It doesn’t work that way. This economy will never recover – not as long as it is under the current Keynesian management. It is like a patient attended by quack doctors – doomed to get sicker from their quack “cures.” Today’s economy depends on large doses of cheap credit…

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CAN CNBC SINK ANY LOWER?

We all know how it will end.

But the game will continue until ends abruptly and without warning.

 

They Are BTFATH, Are You?

Tyler Durden's picture

Because when Elmo sees the economic fundamentals taking the Dow to at least 36,000, how can you possibly stay out of the market?

FUNNY GUY

This was the top story on my local news last night. I couldn’t help but crack up at the sheer idiocy of our country and the morons inhabiting it at this point in history. You have a moron on an airplane who sneezes and then makes a bad joke that he has ebola, stating “I have Ebola, you are all screwed.” We all know idiots like this guy who make inappropriate jokes at the wrong time and the wrong place. You shake your head and mentally note what a douchebag they are. The moron tells everyone he was joking. In a rational world where common sense takes precedence, everyone would go about their business, exit the plane and enjoy their vacation. No, we don’t live in a rational world. The authorities overreact and send goofballs in goofy looking blue hazmat suits onto the plane. The passengers are amused and rolling their eyes, as they know it is nothing but a farce.

They should have had Tommy from Goodfellas handle the situation. He’s a funny guy too.

SHOCKING moment men in Ebola protection suits board plane

This shocking moment occurred on US Airways Flight 850 when a man believed to have been in Africa and had Ebola was removed from the plane. Men in protection suits boarded the flight in what was later confirmed to be a Hazmat team rushed to meet US plane in Dominican Republic after passenger sneezed and yelled ‘I have Ebola!’

A US Airways flight from Philadelphia landed in the Dominican Republic and was immediately greeted by health officials after a passenger decided to make a stupid joke.

Four Hazmat officers rushed onto US Airways plane from Philadelphia.

He was detained and taken for testing, exclaiming: ‘I ain’t been to Africa’.

255 passengers forced to stay on board for two hours until he was cleared.

Punta Cana Airport bosses said he is ‘unbalanced’ and ‘did it for attention’.

 

CHILD NEGLECT?

My parents would have been thrown in jail for life. I could roam anywhere within a few miles of my house at that age. We had ball fields and playground a quarter mile away and I had to walk across the creek and through a cemetery to get to Collingdale Park where we would play baseball, football, hockey and tennis. We would also crawl through sewer pipes and sled down steep hills. The horror!!! We live in a pussified police state.

THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING

This was the Savior pontificating yesterday in Europe about American values, blah, blah, blah. Wait for the applause and accolades. SILENCE. Do you think the rest of the world realizes he is a fraud now? Do you think anyone in the world still believes this bloviating teleprompter reading windbag? The United States is an empire in decline and he is our Caligula.

Remember his speech at the Brandenburg Gate? The Germans were enthralled by our Nobel Peace Prize winning drone president. Now not so much. And we are stuck with him for almost three more years.

2008

STEP AWAY FROM THE TOOTHBRUSH

Those fear mongering douchebags at DHS are at it again. They are warning airlines and Olympic officials of an imminent attack by toothpaste wielding terrorists. They’ve issued a Code Crest alert, with risk of a plaque attack.

Unnamed US security officials were quoted as saying there were fears toothpaste tubes could be used to smuggle explosives which could then be used to assemble a bomb either in flight or upon arrival at the Olympics. The Department of Homeland Security said in a statement that “out of an abundance of caution” it “regularly shares relevant information with domestic and international partners”. “While we are not aware of a specific threat to the homeland at this time, this routine communication is an important part of our commitment to making sure we meet that priority,” it added.

DHS hasn’t saved us from any fake terrorist attacks initiated by themselves in a few months. They need to keep the ignorant masses fearful and subservient as they protect us from phantom dental terrorists. As usual, DHS has absolutely nothing to back up their fear mongering bullshit. Are airlines supposed to confiscate every tube of toothpaste that is taken on their planes? Can you imagine the rampant levels of bad breath in Sochi? These DHS bozos spend tens of billions per year and have foiled NO real terrorist plots. They were warned about the Boston bombers by the Russians and did nothing. DHS is just a tool to keep the plebs under control and pliant to the demands of the ruling class.

This crap is nothing but further de-sensitizing of the masses to government removing more of your liberties in the name of safety. It’s beyond laughable, but the average dolt will actually believe DHS is protecting them.

I understand this new toothpaste will give you an explosive new smile.

 

$400 STOCK?

This is the company that is killing bricks and mortar retailers? Really?

This is a company with $75 billion in sales and net income of $265 million.

Their PE ratio is 1,400.

Do juggernauts have this trend in operating margins?

 

A company like this selling for $400 per share is joke. Cramer says buy.