AOC Says RICO Not A Crime, He’s The Guy Who Delivers Her Food

The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an impassioned speech during witness questioning, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez declared that RICO is not a crime, but in fact that DoorDash driver who delivers her orders from Panda Express.

“Rico is not a crime, he’s a human being!” screamed Ocasio-Cortez. “I literally saw Rico yesterday, he brought me delicious General Tso’s Chicken. HE IS A PERSON, NOT A CRIME!!!”

According to sources, Rico Hernandez has brought Ocasio-Cortez her dinner several times over the years and does not, in fact, have any criminal history. “The fact that you would accuse Rico, who so often has brightened my life with tacos, of being a crime is too much to bear,” said Ocasio-Cortez, weeping. “He is a dear, kind Venezuelan man who would never hurt a fly!”

At publishing time, Rico had reportedly been charged with a RICO crime related to his work delivering little brown paper bags for the Biden family.

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10 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
March 20, 2024 6:24 pm

Deport her to Mexico.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Iska Waran
March 21, 2024 1:19 am

Or Ukraine-they need new blood.

Zoro
Zoro
  Anonymous
March 21, 2024 6:52 am

I like Antarctica, then AOC could tell us all about her Eskimo Pies.

Walter
Walter
March 20, 2024 6:27 pm

The entire democrap party is a RICO offense in progress… for the last forty years and more…

Zoro
Zoro
  Walter
March 21, 2024 6:53 am

Rico is just short for Ricardo!

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 20, 2024 9:51 pm

Two things:

1. Jenny Ain’t From The Block
2. AOC Is A Blockhead

charles zilich
charles zilich
March 20, 2024 10:54 pm

what malcolm x was really warning about. did not dare mention women back then.

Anonymouse
Anonymouse
March 21, 2024 10:55 am

How is it that 90% of elected Democrat’s are Commie loons…especially the ones with vagina’s instead of a penis, or however they differentiate. Not to exclude the RINO cabal that all have vagina’s.

overthecliff
overthecliff
March 21, 2024 11:37 am

Being a stupid cunt does not disqualify a Democrat politician.